Thursday, 14 September 2017

Natte Onderkant

1. Fatigué de Vivre

Flicking through Le Soir, the Belgian paper, on the lookout for some hidden nugget of Belgiania that I can fashion into a hilarious/fascinating pitch or spurious Belgian life philosophy to repackage for coffee table consumption à la hygge/ikigai, I note the following:
 - 5 hideous grisly and depressing murders (yes all murder is bad but these ones were particularly dreadful)
- several sinkholes
- Ghastly racist ministers Theo Francken and Jan Jambon being themselves
- "7 out of 10 Belgians in favour of euthanasia for people who are 'tired of life'"

I am not sure Belgium is ready for its hygge moment.


2. The Naming of the Pekins

The chicks have now survived 6 weeks and doubled in size and sass, so I think I can finally give them names. The one on my shoulder on the last post is slightly shyer, lighter and paler. Her friend is fearless and fat and darker and has taken to chasing away the pigeons and crows that have the effrontery to try and eat her food. Here they both are up to no good:



Any ideas?

3. Hou je klaar en bakken maar

Dutch class starts again next week and I have been preparing by watching THE FLANDERS BAKE OFF. Characteristics of the Flanders Bake Off:
- Host is a single fat jolly bloke who tells a lot of jokes. I like him.
- Judges: one rather po-faced pâtissier who is very strict and Regula Ysewyn who is a vision of vintage splendour, but also rather strict.
- Contestants: the usual mix. Quite blokey. Their older lady has lasted longer than the British one. There is a nice Columbian man who sometimes wears a hat. There is also one young woman whose every second phrase is in English and I find it disproportionately annoying.
- Key phrases:
"spannend"  = tense, used by all candidates all the time, esp during the spektakelstuk.
"ik ben benieuwd"  = I am curious, used by judges when contestants suggest some outlandish flavour or technique, basically the equivalent of that stare Paul Hollywood does.
"natte onderkant" = soggy bottom

I am wondering how to work these into Dutch class.


4. Home Baking to Prove to Myself I Am Not A Deadbeat: A Journal of Failure, Fatness and Diminishing Returns

Day 1
Make a 29 minute chocolate cake (Twitter rec).



Looks pretty good. Tastes great. Children come home.
E: Look! I made a chocolate cake.
F (humouring voice): That's nice!
Eats a small slice then quietly goes and gets some biscuits out of the cupboard.
L: I'm not hungry
Eats crisps for rest of day.
I eat the rest of the cake.

Day 2: 
Make Mary Berry's fast jam buns.



"I asked a 12-year-old girl to try this recipe for me," says MB, who doesn't give a shit about my attempts to make myself feel less of a deadbeat. "She had no problems and thoroughly enjoyed herself." Mine come out slightly too salty and quite unattractive and are nothing like the jam buns of my childhood.
Children come home.
E: There's these ... jam things?
F: Just goes silently straight to the biscuit cupboard
L: Ooh!
Eats one. Never mentions again. Spouse eats one. Never mentions again. I eat 4 more - they are edible when warmed - then give the rest to the birds. 

Day 3
Make chocolate chip Chelsea buns (because my family are awful and hate spice and dried fruit).



Children come home.
E: I made some of those chocolate bun things?
F: Oh, right.
Eats one, eats peanuts for remainder of day
L: I'm not hungry
Later
L: Are there any biscuits?
E: There are these chocolate chip buns I made!
L: Not those
I freeze the buns, sadly. 

Day 4 (today)

I made cinnamon buns which no one likes but me. Fuck everything.


No, there is no pearl sugar or glaze or icing on the top because I PREFER THEM WITHOUT and they are MY BUNS.


5. Reading 

I set myself a target of no despair before midday and have failed at it today BUT I have updated the reading page for July. July was long ago so the descriptions are ... brief?


45 comments:

Marion said...

Love the July list. Maybe forgetting part of the books makes it more obvious what's really special about them? Or something.

Anna Maria said...

I am so grateful my spouse and child both love spices and dried fruit. But I don't like icing, either.
I was going to recommend Standard Deviation to you, as I thought you'd enjoy it. I finished it two days ago, feeling that it had filled Nora Ephron-shaped hole in my life. Heiny is v.good on parenting a boy on the spectrum: I'd often chuckle knowingly. I am totally Graham, too.

M. said...

Oh my god.
The hens are US.

InvisibleWoman said...

I suppose Thelma and Louise would be too obvious? I would eat all of those cakes, too.

CJ said...

You have cheered me up tremendously in a week where I have accomplished absolutely nothing. Every day I leap out of bed ready to tackle the mountain of writing I have to do, but every day I am waylaid by various disasters. Tomorrow is the day. Isn't it disappointing when offspring don't like home baking. Honestly, the glee with which mine greet a cheap packet of supermarket crumpets has to be seen to be believed. But what about the homemade carrot cake? We had guinea pigs called Lulu and Mrs Armitage, very good names at the time I believe and you are welcome to them now they are no longer being used (names not pigs).

anapestic said...

Your children sound like ... teenagers. If you can't ship them off to a monastery, then perhaps take some comfort that they'll be human again in five to seven years.

But, really: monastery.

[Off topic: how do I really know that I'm not a robot? I have been checking the box, but there might be room for doubt.]

Unknown said...

Ena Sharples and Minnie Caldwell for the pekins.

Ellie said...

Mel and Sue?

carolinefo said...

After many years of reading your observations on The Strangeness (and not in a good way) That Is Belgium, the idea of Belgian Hygge actually made me laugh out loud.
It seems to me that David Lynch is spiritually Belgian.

You could do the Belgian Anti-Hygge, though...

Agree totally with you about Manon Whatsit. I even bought the second book in hardback as soon as it came out.

You've probably mentioned this on a previous book-list, but have you read 'Before the Fall' by Noah Hawley? I absolutely loved it.. so much so that I raved about it to my best friend, who went off to Waterstone's, got slightly confused, and and came back with a book called 'After the Crash'. That also made me burst out laughing.

Beatrix said...

Itchie & Scratchie.

Carla P said...

I wondered where you were going with "Natte Onderkant" too funny. I am obsessed with the Great British Baking show, so am very interested in watching the Dutch version? Do you recommend? I am an "empty nester" and no longer bake! Period! On the rare occasion that I do, I don't bother plating anything, just grab a fork and go..... I am excited to delve into some of your reading list, but a lot of the books seem to be about children disappearing. Are you trying to tell us something?
I am currently reading Hillbilly Elegy and would love it if we had a book club discuss later among those who want to participate. So far, I am not really enjoying it all that much. Can't quite put my finger on why. My husband and I recently returned from a road trip where we traveled from southern Washington coast, down to southern Oregon coast. Beautiful country and endless beaches for dog walking with minimal human interaction. However, my point finally, some of the small towns we visited along the way had a very similar population as J D describes in his book. I wonder if that is just an unfortunate phenomenon across small town America?

Lucy and Ethel. Ginger and MaryAnne.

I have stopped naming my chickens, because I have no imagination and I get less attached if it's just blackie and whitey. But, I did have one (RIP) hen that I named Hyacinth because she insisted on laying her eggs in an overturned bucket. My two humongous Sagitta hens were big Bertha and Behemoth .

Cait Mellow said...

Surely Regula Ysewyn is in Game of Thrones as some sort of high priestess? One with a poisonous insect familiar of some sort?

Chickens: Althea and Donna?

The London Artphile said...

Chicken naming - Velma and Daphne of Scooby Doo fame? Although was Velma actually fatter than Daphne or did it just seem that way due to her being shorter and always in that orange chunky-knit turtleneck.

Kate O'Dea said...

I had the misfortune to spend 2 hours in Bruxelles Midi yesterday. There probably are worse stations in the world to hang around in but I don't know where. Signs ask that you "signaler quelque chose suspect" but as every third person looked like a madman or a potential murderer it's hard to know where to start. I particularly liked the african guy walking around in a leopard print blanket as if he had strayed out of "before they are gone". :)

Waffle said...

CFo - This has so made me laugh. I loved After the Fall! Also, I have read "After the Crash" too and it is the biggest heap of shite imaginable.

Cait - Yes. It's an amazing name. Definite priestess material.

Kate - how dare you (you are 100% right). Also, you sound like Baudelaire talking about Brussels, so that makes you extra-classy.

Normandy Thenandnow said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
eman sh said...


شركة نقل عفش
اهم شركات مكافحة حشرات بالخبر كذلك معرض اهم شركة مكافحة حشرات بالدمام والخبر والجبيل والخبر والاحساء والقطيف كذلك شركة رش حشرات بالدمام ومكافحة الحشرات بالخبر
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالدمام
شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة الجوهرة من افضل شركات تنظيف الخزانات بجدة حيث ان تنظيف خزانات بجدة يحتاج الى مهارة فى كيفية غسيل وتنظيف الخزانات الكبيرة والصغيرة بجدة على ايدى متخصصين فى تنظيف الخزانات بجدة
شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة
شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالدمام
شركة نقل عفش واثاث

eman sh said...


شركة نقل عفش بخميس مشيط
شركة نقل عفش بجازان
شركة نقل عفش بنجران

eman sh said...


دار السلام اهم شركة نقل عفش بالطائف وكذلك اهم شركة نقل عفش بمكة وجدة والمدينة المنورة تقوم الشركة بنقل العفش بحفر الباطن وتبوك وجازان وتقوم بنقل الاثاث بالقصيم
شركة نقل عفش بالطائف
شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة
شركة نقل عفش بجازان وابها

Maygiat Baohanh said...

Great, thank you for sharing
chăm sóc bệnh nhân thoái hóa cột sống thắt lưng

Lena Smith said...

For installing Office Setup via Office.com/Setup, there are a number of reasons that causes an error during installation of Office setup product key dial toll-free number 1-888-827-9060.

Lena Smith said...

If you face McAfee errors during installation, configuration, activation, billing or renewal, just dial McAfee support Number 1-888-827-9060.

siva linga prasad said...

hiii
nice post about food
thanks for shraing this post
movers and packers in agra

Anderson Edward said...

Good day everybody,
I'm from United Kingdom (GB). This is my testimony on how I won 53,193,914 million pounds on Mega millions lottery. I want to use this opportunity to thank Dr IyaryI, for casting winning spell for me to win the lottery of 53,193,194 million pounds,lottery ticket. I have been playing lotteries for the past 5 years now and i have never won any. Ever since then i have not been able to win any lotto and i was so upset and i needed help to win this mega million lottery. so i decided to go online and search for help, there i saw so many good testimony about this man called Dr Iyaryi,of how he has cast lucky spell lotto for people to win the lottery. I contacted him also and tell him i want to win the Mega millions lottery, he cast a spell for me which i use to play and won 53.193,914 million pounds in mega millions lottery. I am so grateful to this man, just in-case you also need him to help you win, you can contact him through his Email: driayaryi2012@hotmail.com, and he will surely help you just the way he has helped me. i will forever be grateful to him and always testify the good work of him to the hole world. contact him via Email: driayaryi2012@hotmail.com, and he will surely help you to win any kind of lottery And also Reach him on WhatsApp Number: +2349057915709 Thanks Dr. Iyaryi

Andy said...

Contact Help – Customer Support Services Number

Get Toll Free numbers of top computer companies.One stop solution for your all gadgets and computer accessories.

Debbie Kladke said...

Hello
I'm from USA, Texas. and I am very happy for posting on this blog on how a great spell caster helped me in bringing back the love of my life. I know there are lots of women like me out there who have done so much to have back their Husband, I am here to tell you all to search no further because the answer is right here. I sincerely believe if there are up to five spell casters like Dr Iyaryi this world would be a better place, I have seen people complaining on how fake spell castes promised to help them but couldn't but with Dr Iyaryi I tell you your problem is solved already. My Husband and I had been apart for 3 YEARS and I couldn't bear without living without him, I have tried everything to have him back but nothing was working until I saw numerous testimonies about a spell caster called Dr Iyaryi and how great his work is. I contacted him via email (driayaryi2012@hotmail.com) immediately and follow the step that he ask and in the next 48 hours my lover called me and was eager for my forgiveness and that he wished nothing more than to have me in his arms forever. I filled so much joy and happiness that I found Dr Iyaryi , I hope you all here will find this testimony of mine and get your husband back in just 48 hours thanks... contact his email: driayaryi2012@hotmail.com And also Reach him on WhatsApp Number: +2349057915709 Thanks Dr. IyaryI

jennifer bella said...

Very good post. Thanks for sharing. Imo is the best application for video calling and chatting.

imo for pc
imo for windows phone
imo for mac
imo for Chrome Browser
imo for mac
imo for mac
imo apk
http://www.imoforpcappdownload.com/

Ahmed Mary said...


يسر شركة شام ان تقدم لعملائها في مدينة القطيف افضل الخدمات المنزليه واليوم سوف نقدم لكم خدمة تسليك المجاري بالقطيف وقد حرصنا علي ان تكون الخدمه التي نقدمها خدمه متميزه خدمه متوفر فيها جميع عناصر الاحترافيه والخبره ، وتندرج هذه الخدمه تحت مسمى
شركة تسليك مجاري بالقطيف
ومن عناصر التميز التي حرصنا علي توافرها في هذه الخدمه وجميع الخدمات التي نقدمها لعملائنا الكرام المصداقيه واحترام الاتفاقات والمواعيد والحرص والحرص علي الوصول بالخدمه المقدمه الي اعلي درجات الاتقان والجوده ، عزيزي العميل مع شركة شام انت دائما بأمان .

Sara James said...

My Name is Sara James from USA, i’m so excited and all thanks goes to Dr.Olokun for bringing back my Ex-husband and brought great joy to my Life.This great man brought back my husband within 24 hours and with the help of his spell i was also able to bare a child.( drolokun23@gmail.com ) I was married to my husband for about 10yrs we loved each other but when I was unable to give him a child i noticed his behavior started changing and things didn't work out like it used to be. He eventually left and told me he wouldn't continue anymore with me.Life became unbearable that i almost committed suicide but on a faithful day as i was going through the internet i came across a spell caster called Dr Olokun,i saw several testimonies about this very spell caster on how he as helped alot of persons having similiar issues like myself.There was one particular testimony i saw a woman testified of how Dr Olokun brought back her Lover within 24hours and at the end of her testimony dropped Dr Olokun contact Email ( drolokun23@gmail.com ) then i took the courage and decided to contact this man via his contact email address.You won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problem he prepared a very strong spell for me and told me to rejoice that the Oracle as accepted my sacrifice that my Husband will return and i that i'll eventually bare a child. After a couple of days i missed my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. I am happy today am a mother of a baby boy, thank you once again the great Dr. Olokun for what you have done for me.My husband is back home and things are looking great again, don't die with your problems at Dr Olokun's shrine your result is sure because i got result when i least expected it. E-mail: drolokun23@gmail.com
Contact him if you are out there passing through any of this predicaments in your life.

Fghkfhk Dfgaert said...

qzz0509
michael kors outlet
nike shoes
canada goose outlet
michael kors outlet
prada outlet
coach outlet
cheap jordans
ysl outlet
oakley sunglasses wholesale
ugg outlet

obi duatilu said...

very interesting information, I really like it because it can add insight for me more broadly, thank you very much for this extraordinary information
8 Cara Sederhana Untuk Mengatasi Anak Susah Makan,Obat Penebalan Otot Jantung Tradisional

الصفوة جروب said...

شركة امست للتنظيف افضل شركة لتنظيف المنازل والشقق والفللوالبيوت والمجالس والكنب والمفروشات والخزانات بالقطيف والمنطقة الشرقية لديها عمالة مدربة وخصومات هائلة طما توفر خدمات مكافحة الحشرات ورش المبيدات بالقطيف باسعار رخيصة ومناسبة وخصومات هائلة

شركة امست للتنظيف

امست للنظافة القطيف
شركة امست لمكافحة الحشرات
شركة امست لرش المبيدات

الصفوة جروب said...

افضل شركة تنظيف بالقطيف تقدم خدمات نظافة متكاملة علي اعلي مستوي بدقة وجودة ومواصفات قياسية واسعار تنافسية فتعد الشركة الاولي بالقطيف لتقديم خدماتالتنظيف بجودة وسعر مثالييينفهي خير مثال لراغبي الحصول علي نظافة شاملة مع التعقيم وباسعار مناسبة

شركة تنظيف بالقطيف
شركة تنظيف منازل بالقطيف

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالقطيف
شركة تنظيف مجالس بالقطيف
شركة تنظيف خزانات بالقطيف
شركة شفط بيارات بالقطيف

Jumbo said...

Nice information dear thanks for sharing...
tapions

Litz Harly said...

Some portion of the reason that the business developed was that of the entry of the Bank Deregulation Act of 1980. cash advance 24 hours san diego

Jeff Wolf said...

Dr Jack cast a lottery spell for me and i won $2,000,000..Read my review and contact him now for your own lottery winning numbers.

Words are not enough to express my profound gratitude for the wonderful thing that Dr. Jack did for me. Have anybody heard of this great spell caster who help to win Lottery and clear all your debts and buy your self a big house and car and also have a comfortable life living. His Lottery spell is wonders and work very fast. He help me to won a big money that change my life and my family. Recently i won $2,000,000 (TWO MILLIONS DOLLARS) It was a dream come true for me and my family. Your Lottery spell made wonders and miracles. Thank you so much sir for dedicating your time to cast the Lottery spell for me.I am extremely grateful for the Lottery spell you did for me. If you want to win lottery like me all you need to do is contact the voodoo spell caster that give me the rightful wining numbers of the below email Okakagbespelltemple@yahoo.com or okakagbespelltemple@gmail.com call him +2348138289852

Jeff Wolf and i am from United states

56 said...

0806jejeOn peut dire que nike air flight huarache trash talking ces baskets seront capables de mesurer à quelle hauteur vous pouvez sauter, à quelle vitesse vous courez, ainsi que d'autres fonctionnalités. Nike Dunk High-cut est parmi les meilleures marques de chaussures. Nike Shox air jordan basket bebe Livrer contre les plus petits fabricants de chaussures. Deuxièmement, mettez un peu de papier mou, l'objectif général est d'absorber l'humidité résiduelle interne pour les air jordan 1 bhm garder au sec et c'est vraiment très bon pour maintenir la fixation des chaussures. Avec le ralentissement de l'économie commence à nike air max 90 junior blanc noir rose revenir, de nombreux analystes disent que les gens sont presque prêts à dépenser de l'argent sur le luxe une fois de plus. Cette année pour Halloween, commencez à new balance homme bleu ciel faire vos programmes maintenant.

Unknown said...

Hello, This is very amazing and helpful article for me. Thank you so much for providing such kind of knowledge with us.
Hard Drive Repair Reset Service
wifi network troubleshoot service
printer troubleshoot repair service
services of virus removal
CCTV Camera service in delhi
AVRiQ

Webroot.com/safe said...

Activate Webroot Antivirus to resolve any problems associated with security of your Desktop, Mobile, Tablet or Laptop just you need to do a single click webroot secureanywhere antivirus For office Setup Visit office.com/setup

Jeff Wolf said...

Dr Jack cast a lottery spell for me and i won $2,000,000..Read my review and contact him now for your own lottery winning numbers.

Words are not enough to express my profound gratitude for the wonderful thing that Dr. Jack did for me. Have anybody heard of this great spell caster who help to win Lottery and clear all your debts and buy your self a big house and car and also have a comfortable life living. His Lottery spell is wonders and work very fast. He help me to won a big money that change my life and my family. Recently i won $2,000,000 (TWO MILLIONS DOLLARS) It was a dream come true for me and my family. Your Lottery spell made wonders and miracles. Thank you so much sir for dedicating your time to cast the Lottery spell for me.I am extremely grateful for the Lottery spell you did for me. If you want to win lottery like me all you need to do is contact the voodoo spell caster that give me the rightful wining numbers of the below email Okakagbespelltemple@yahoo.com or okakagbespelltemple@gmail.com call him +2348138289852

Jeff Wolf and i am from United states

chev aziz said...

Numpang share this info Obat Nyeri Sendi Tradisional and thanks for permission

Rafal Stak said...

car accessories
Hyundai Creta OEM Double Din Player
Hyundai i20 OEM Double Din Player
Hyundai Grand i10 OEM Double Din Player
Hyundai Xcent OEM Double Din Player
Hyundai Verna
Hypersonic OEM Double Din Player

hana alifian said...

Never stop trying even though failure is always there, if today can't be possible tomorrow will be beautiful in time ...

http://bit.ly/2wXgdNR || http://bit.ly/2QlcKAI || http://bit.ly/2OcSCzq || http://bit.ly/2MiRet3 || http://bit.ly/2CJb7dk || http://bit.ly/2MkJN4u || http://bit.ly/2wC7OhL || http://bit.ly/2OauNb9 || http://bit.ly/2oWTLjp

Jeff Wolf said...

Dr Jack cast a lottery spell for me and i won $2,000,000..Read my review and contact him now for your own lottery winning numbers.

Words are not enough to express my profound gratitude for the wonderful thing that Dr. Jack did for me. Have anybody heard of this great spell caster who help to win Lottery and clear all your debts and buy your self a big house and car and also have a comfortable life living. His Lottery spell is wonders and work very fast. He help me to won a big money that change my life and my family. Recently i won $2,000,000 (TWO MILLIONS DOLLARS) It was a dream come true for me and my family. Your Lottery spell made wonders and miracles. Thank you so much sir for dedicating your time to cast the Lottery spell for me.I am extremely grateful for the Lottery spell you did for me. If you want to win lottery like me all you need to do is contact the voodoo spell caster that give me the rightful wining numbers of the below email Okakagbespelltemple@yahoo.com or okakagbespelltemple@gmail.com call him +2348138289852

Jeff Wolf and i am from United states

Jeff Wolf said...

Dr Jack cast a lottery spell for me and i won $2,000,000..Read my review and contact him now for your own lottery winning numbers.

Words are not enough to express my profound gratitude for the wonderful thing that Dr. Jack did for me. Have anybody heard of this great spell caster who help to win Lottery and clear all your debts and buy your self a big house and car and also have a comfortable life living. His Lottery spell is wonders and work very fast. He help me to won a big money that change my life and my family. Recently i won $2,000,000 (TWO MILLIONS DOLLARS) It was a dream come true for me and my family. Your Lottery spell made wonders and miracles. Thank you so much sir for dedicating your time to cast the Lottery spell for me.I am extremely grateful for the Lottery spell you did for me. If you want to win lottery like me all you need to do is contact the voodoo spell caster that give me the rightful wining numbers of the below email Okakagbespelltemple@yahoo.com or okakagbespelltemple@gmail.com call him +2348138289852

Jeff Wolf and i am from United states