Friday, 11 August 2017


1. Glamorous things I have bought online this month*

- A whippet collar from "Doggy Boho" (sob)

- A tub of live tiny mites that eat red mites

- Herbal worming solution and calcium supplements from Flyte So Fancy (such a great name)

- An SKF-608-2Z bearing single row deep groove ball (our dryer has died and my spouse fancies himself a have a go hero, I am half-admiring, half awaiting fiery death)

- A 3-hour "gorge walking" trip (wetsuit provided) for four people at the appropriately named "Hell Gill" because I am scared we will get bored and feast on each other's spinal fluid in Yorkshire.

(*only things I have bought online this month)

2. Bad signs at yoga class

(not literal signs, though they have those too, reading "life is perfecct" and "breathe" and they are also very bad indeed)

- Man at reception suggests you do "un peu de préparation psychologique" before you go

- Or recommends you take the class on an empty stomach

- People in the room have all started doing fucking sun salutations BEFORE the class actually starts

- Topless men

- (Redacted) is teaching

3. Activities my Fitbit thinks are steps

- Scratching the dog

- Struggling with a large packet of crisps

- Scratching my mosquito bites, JESUS THE BITES

- Brushing my teeth

- Making cinnamon rolls

4. Good things I have eaten this week

- Tiny, fresh, still warm Bolo di Coco coconut bun (Forcado)

- Waaaaaay too much Gomen Wot (Kokob)

- A salted and fresh ricotta and grilled aubergine pizza with perfect burnt-chewy base (Cocina Flagey, also two pretty good cocktails)

- Veggie tacos - though a bit more spice wouldn't go amiss (Charli Salé)

- Crisp outside, buttery inside, almond and raspberry cake with tart redcurrant compote (Pipaillon)

(Yes, my many Gap girlfriend twill stripe chinos *are* somewhat tight currently, how did you guess)

5. Culture I have consumed

- La Piscine de Roubaix: the most exquisitely converted 1930s swimming pool, with a rather eccentric collection (thigh rubbingly good textiles though)

- Baby Driver: think that's the first time I've had to actually cover my ears in a cinema? Not great female roles? Otherwise, sure.

- Homecoming podcast: David Schwimmer makes a spectacularly oleaginous and convincing baddie - OR IS HE?

- L'Amour est dans le Pré - Belgian farmer wants a wife. Eye-opening. I like the two Dutch stable owning sisters though.

- Hillbilly Elegy: I am not really sure what I think about this. I'm sure you're all on tenterhooks for my considered take at a later date, ahem.



Unknown said...

I'm in London, and have just come back from the Perfume exhibition in Somerset House, and it was amazing.
Had a solitary, and therefore not perfect, lunch at Anglo, a restaurant in Farringdon, but the food WAS perfect, I definitely recommend it (assorted critics seem to agree).

Mrs Jones said...

Topless men and pre-class Sun Salutations are all prime Yoga twattery. I bet they call themselves 'yoginis' as well.

Am also enjoying the 'Homecoming' podcast - David Schwimmer is fabulously slimy in it.

Tonight I'm off to see Omid Djalili channel Topol in 'Fiddler on the Roof' at Chichester. Ray Fucking Purchase's wife is playing Mrs Topol - 'sgonna be fab! Then on Monday I'm off for my annual art jaunt in London Village taking in the Summer Exhibition, the BP Portrait Awards, lunch (and many margaritas at Wahaca), finishing with the Grayson Perry at the Serpentine. I really REALLY want to go to the Alma-Tadema exhibition at Leighton House Museum too but I think my feet might just fall off first. I wish my life was like this all the time...

Mouselegs said...

I don't know about you but I thought the author of Hillbilly Elegy came off as a turdbucket.

Waffle said...

Mouselegs - Yep. I'm deeply uneasy about it and this is mainly why.

Unknown said...

Mrs Jones, that's exactly how I feel, having just come home after a visit to London. I wish I had also seen Matisse exhibition, but my feet were hurting too much.

Ellie said...

I for one am extremely interested in hearing how Hillbilly Elegy reads outside of the U.S. I haven't had the guts to read it myself (it's a favorite on the Fox News Book Club Circuit, not a real draw for me).

I am sitting here watching Nazis march on a liberal college town in the United States in 2017 while the man in charge of our country tweets illiterate vagueness about how "both sides are at fault" after somebody rammed a car into the counter-protesters. Put another way, I'm about go to drink a lot of gin and turn all the lights off.

cruella said...

Last two items: My sister who lives in Paris got interviewed for French "L'amour..." Sadly they didn't recognize the wild fun of a tall and horsey Swede sustaining herself on wine and snuff. Hillbilly Elegy is next in my Book Tower - in Leros now on a mother-daughter week of sun and sea. Or do I mean Mythos and Metaxa (me)?

Harrier said...

Yoga: Arriving early at your first class since giving birth 13 months ago, reading happily on your mat as you wait for the teacher to arrive, then looking up and realising the rest of the class has come in and is hanging upside down from ropes on the wall behind you. said...

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