Friday, 11 August 2017
1. Glamorous things I have bought online this month*
- A whippet collar from "Doggy Boho" (sob)
- A tub of live tiny mites that eat red mites
- Herbal worming solution and calcium supplements from Flyte So Fancy (such a great name)
- An SKF-608-2Z bearing single row deep groove ball (our dryer has died and my spouse fancies himself a have a go hero, I am half-admiring, half awaiting fiery death)
- A 3-hour "gorge walking" trip (wetsuit provided) for four people at the appropriately named "Hell Gill" because I am scared we will get bored and feast on each other's spinal fluid in Yorkshire.
(*only things I have bought online this month)
2. Bad signs at yoga class
(not literal signs, though they have those too, reading "life is perfecct" and "breathe" and they are also very bad indeed)
- Man at reception suggests you do "un peu de préparation psychologique" before you go
- Or recommends you take the class on an empty stomach
- People in the room have all started doing fucking sun salutations BEFORE the class actually starts
- Topless men
- (Redacted) is teaching
3. Activities my Fitbit thinks are steps
- Scratching the dog
- Struggling with a large packet of crisps
- Scratching my mosquito bites, JESUS THE BITES
- Brushing my teeth
- Making cinnamon rolls
4. Good things I have eaten this week
- Tiny, fresh, still warm Bolo di Coco coconut bun (Forcado)
- Waaaaaay too much Gomen Wot (Kokob)
- A salted and fresh ricotta and grilled aubergine pizza with perfect burnt-chewy base (Cocina Flagey, also two pretty good cocktails)
- Veggie tacos - though a bit more spice wouldn't go amiss (Charli Salé)
- Crisp outside, buttery inside, almond and raspberry cake with tart redcurrant compote (Pipaillon)
(Yes, my many Gap girlfriend twill stripe chinos *are* somewhat tight currently, how did you guess)
5. Culture I have consumed
- La Piscine de Roubaix: the most exquisitely converted 1930s swimming pool, with a rather eccentric collection (thigh rubbingly good textiles though)
- Baby Driver: think that's the first time I've had to actually cover my ears in a cinema? Not great female roles? Otherwise, sure.
- Homecoming podcast: David Schwimmer makes a spectacularly oleaginous and convincing baddie - OR IS HE?
- L'Amour est dans le Pré - Belgian farmer wants a wife. Eye-opening. I like the two Dutch stable owning sisters though.
- Hillbilly Elegy: I am not really sure what I think about this. I'm sure you're all on tenterhooks for my considered take at a later date, ahem.