Friday, 28 July 2017

I have opinions

Animals I have unfollowed on Instagram

1. Bald guinea pig (cutesy accessories/positive affirmations )

2. Capybara (bit boring, too many attempts to sell me socks)

3. Tiny pony horse dance training (preachy, with a side order of veganpreachy)

4. Giant pig (turns out I’m not that into giant pigs)

5. Damaged goats (too much drama)

6. That racoon who is friends with a dog (dunno, it just wasn’t doing it for me. Nothing they said to each other really worked for me, you know? WHAT IS YOUR MOTIVATION TOFFEE)

Animal accounts I continue to follow faithfully and with a degree of joy and yes this is in order of goodness

1. meagletrainer
So Many Capital Letters And Emojis Guys. Such Mystery. And yet, he has solid weird bird and giant fish action that fills me with love, intense puzzlement and joy. If you aren’t following meagletrainer, you are missing out on the essence of animal Instagram. I miss that pelican he used to have though.

2. arc4raptors
“Avian reconditioning center”. I mean, come ON. Quality raptor based account, with interesting scientific information as well as top notch hawks.

3. ojairaptorcentre

4. This Girl Is a Squirrel
For the weird, asmr style squirrel fur stroking videos which soothe the lizard brain.

5. kpunkka
Not all animals, but all amazing.

6. zsllondonzoo
For loyalty, but also for excellence and in hope of appearances from Mr Wu, the giant salamander. Or the tortoises.

7. weratedogs
I know it’s actually a hedge fund in disguise or something, but I like it, ok.

8. evpcambodia
An infrequent but deeply pleasing poster of retired Cambodian elephants enjoying just being elephants.

9. choochoocharlies/neville jacobs
I think both these dogs belong to Marc Jacobs? Possibly? The pics are good and the captions non-annoying.

10. jc_wings
All birds, no filler. They're good birds, Brent.

11. avianrecon
Some birds. Birds are awesome says Allison. She is not wrong. Allison, that most recent picture is not a bird though.

12. birdsbrussels

13. whippetsinwool
Highly specific occasional amusement

Conclusions for animal accounts wishing to retain my patronage: 

1. No positive affirmations of any kind

2. No drama

3. Do not tell me what to do

4. Captions should be either genuinely funny, SCIENTIFIC-slash-informative or meagletrainer. There is no other way.

5. No cats.

6. Birds are always ok.

Obviously I am not including or opining on personal accounts which are heavy on pictures of pets (several of which I follow and enjoy) because that is a whole other ball game.

Am I missing out on Instagram animal greatness? I feel like there must be good farm stuff I am missing. More normal goats. Some splendid hens? Fill me in.

In other news

Ouipette is still sick at the vet's. My life has lost all meaning. Send him your good thoughts. He will greet them with utter disdain.


J. said...

Swiss Valley Farm in Newport, RI USA has fainting goats and other heritage breeds they feature in their Insta feed.

Mrs Jones said...

juniperfoxx - 'the happiest fox'. Adoped by a woman who specialises in foxes, sugar gliders and I can't remember what else. She's recently adopted a cub called 'Fig' who was rescued from a fur farm but has only one eye, has lost one of its front paws (getting a prosthetic soon) and the toes on one back foot through various infections in the past. Juniper has become Fig's surrogate mother and its utterly adorable. There's also an extremely patient big dog called 'Moose' who is Juniper's boyfriend.

BDM said...

What, pray tell, is wrong with CATS?

Unknown said...

Agree with you on cats, though I have one. Many friends post pictures of their cats, and that's boring enough. I follow several shepherdesses for beautiful landscapes of Northern England and pictures of Collies (I have a Border Collie), We Rate Dogs and a couple of Valais sheep feeds, because they are the pandas of livestock.

Murphy said...

I'm sorry Ouipette is still sick! When my dog Oliver was at the animal hospital for 5 days, I was despondent. Oliver and I are sending good vibes.

Patience_Crabstick said...

I am sorry about Ouipette. I hope he recovers soon. Poor puppy. :(

I am going to have to follow that whippets in wool account. I am always amused by animals dressed in knitwear. I like the elephant account too. I don't currently follow any animal accounts, but I sometimes look in on Hilarious Ted - very funny, but includes cats.

Marley said...

I follow a number of ridiculously adorable Japanese accounts of sighthounds, mostly les ouipettes but also Italian greyhounds. I particularly like "iglatte", an Italian Grey called Latte whose owner dreses it up in stylish outfits (there was a knitted hat series; especially entertaining) and hosts birthday parties for it. Where Oscar & Honey have Resting Bitch Face, Latte has a permanently anxious expression, no doubt wondering which style direction it's being lead on next. "Whippetjj" is fun too: the owners grow vegetables and pose the dogs with marrows etc. Not at all strange. Not one bit.

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Waffle said...

BDM - I don't have anything against cats, per se (some of my best friends are cats, etc.) but I find pictures of them en masse do not give me the dopamine whatever that a good raptor does. Each to their own proclivities.

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I look forward to reading quality articles that contain timely information from you.

What a hilarious piece of Spam - you should frame it and put it on your wall (my husband nearly did that with a letter from our car insurers which declared him to be a 'conducteur prudent', which he found hilarious. (We do live in Brussels after all..)

Barbara said...

I'm follower of the "Ravenmaster" on Twitter.
He cares for the Ravens who live by the Tower of London.
My favourite raven is Merlina (with the pink Fitbit).

Catherine said...

Do you already have @herdyshepherd1 -- the Herdwick shepherd? Border collies as well as sheep.

Karen said...

Oh no... now all my idle time is going to be filled with squirrel purring! ❤️

Nimble said...

I follow on twitter. Emus with babies are featured plus a pair of corgis and she just made reference to the "winter falconry season" so you can't lose!

Nimble said...

Oh heck I got two twitter accounts mixed up. Here's where I see the corgi pix:

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Waffle said...

I realise I forgot to mention the excellent wolfgang2242 with his large gang of broken dogs (inc both wolfhound and several chihuahuas), pig and chicken, which is a grave oversight.

Jonathan said...

And now I have something to occupy me for the next several hours :)

Leona said...

Oh, I love a good rummage through Animal Instagram. I myself would recommend Timothy The Mini Pig - an impossibly spoiled and self satisfied young pig, who sleeps in his owners' bed and occasionally wears a bow tie.

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