Over recent weeks I have had increasing difficulty persuading the dog to leave the house in the morning for a walk (a lovely, long, off the lead walk in a park). I have a selection of short videos depicting this, but am too lazy to attempt to upload them. Basically he sits in the corner, fixes me with an eye of hate and refuses to get up. You may attach a lead to him and gently tug at it, he does not give a shit, though may coldly look away from you to emphasise how Not Ok this walk thing is. In the evening, by contrast, when my husband and I take him out, he positively bounds to the door, thrilled to be offered the chance to trail boringly around the block and probably spend 5 minutes tied up outside Picard.
My husband believes this is because the dog does not like MY walks (long, entertaining, dog-focused), but is totally fine with his (short, boring, human-focused). I was not convinced but he demonstrated that this is indeed the case with a galling degree of success this morning by managing to get the dog up and by the door in less than a minute. I wouldn’t say the dog looked thrilled, exactly, but he obeyed without question. How sharper than a serpent’s tooth, etc. He didn’t get what he wanted anyway because I still took him on a long, entertaining walk to the park (nb as soon as we're out, he's fine and expresses no further protest).
Hang on, I'm actually trying to upload the video, let's see if this works. It does! Two parts!
The heat has got to my stomach and I am bloated like an ailing Yorkshire Vet sheep and crampy (yes, I know this is pathetic, ouipette is similarly afflicted, we are both gurgling away, we are creatures of the frozen north) so after a morning of biliously chewing crackers and complaining, I have moved into the basement. I am typing this with laptop balanced on ironing board. The view is terrible and the lighting effects DHSS-chic, but it is DELICIOUSLY cool.
(Update: it's actually too cold, I had to come back up to the hell-furnace, but it's good to have the option)
My hairdresser cancelled on me due to being famous and in demand (not a problem anyone will ever have with me, no sirree) and i have had to reschedule wig cut for July. Given I basically have NO hair left at the back, this is problematic, but I am just going with it, on the basis that at on the odd occasions I leave the house in the next two weeks no one will be looking a short cross middle aged woman in Gap Girlfriend Chinos when there is an endless expanse of nubile flesh to contemplate in this weather. I look like an absolute knob in all hats, so that isn’t an option.
Also, I updated the reading page: quality not quantity this month!