Friday, 14 April 2017

Horse! Shops! Prizes!

Hello! Here is a small horse with no context whatsoever. He was very friendly, even when I insisted on putting my arms around him and inhaling his horse scent for fifteen minute stretches without his explicit consent (I gave him some carrots though).


The Easter holidays are proving interminable, again. I think I’ve just become monstrously intolerant and misanthropic with age, which means that the sight of giant lunking unwashed teenagers in pyjamas staring at screens for 10 hours a day (WHAT, what am I supposed to do, take them to a museum?) is increasingly irritating to me, especially when they appear around 2pm and quiz me on food options as if I were their sodding concierge-slash-butler. F is just back from ten days in China (China! In my day we hitchhiked to Filey, ate seagulls and slept on a bench, etc etc) with no internet, so I don’t feel too bad about him filling his eyes with crap. L went to Majorca, though I think he just lay around looking at YouTube for a week as he would have done here but with slightly better weather so he should probably be smited with scorpions into some improving activity, but I simply can’t be arsed. Also, I have work to do and cannot be spending my days smiting and catering (Smiting and Catering: A Mother's Lot).

The foregoing meant that our trip to Yorkshire last week was sans enfants, which was an interesting glimpse into our future. Good: no aggro, negotiating, complaints, demands for expensive steak in pubs and no difficulty in getting out of the house at 8am. Bad: tendency to wear fleece unchecked by teenscorn and that airless feeling when all the (bad tempered, obstreperous, but also very funny) youthful vitality is gone from the room and it’s just … us? We’ll need another dog, for sure. We do still seem to be broadly compatible, which is a relief though there may be a disparity in energy levels, there were lots of conversations along these lines:

Spouse: What shall we do NOW

Me: Sssh, why so loud, I thought I’d just do some sitting. In silence.

Spouse: I’ll just go and take something to pieces then and HIT IT WITH A HAMMER.

We also drank a lot of gin and walked up a lot of hills, and I read a mountain of books, which was ideal (will update book page soon). Getting home has been melancholy, though at least Hillary has been contained for a fortnight so we came home to a sprinkling of actual grass in the backyard, which was both welcome and surprising.


One of our agreed-upon activities (this is always shaming to confess in front of Prog Rock who lives the life of a holy hermit, existing only on lentils, Sainsbury's Basic Range apples, Le Monde Diplomatique and Russian literature, but we face up to our grossly acquisitive nature bravely) was to go to the York Designer Outlet, yet again. The Designer Outlet is a very strange place and you feel like the worst dregs of end-stage capitalism as you walk around it, mindlessly consuming, but if you can take the guilt and self-loathing, it has some excellent stuff. 40% of my wardrobe comes from the Margaret Howell outlet and I also found my favourite Paul Smith silk swimmers blouse there.

Margaret Howell proved very disappointing this time (in the sense that everything still cost an actual king’s ransom and I could not justify buying any of it), but I got what I THINK is a nice fine grey wool coat from Jaeger (RIP), because I am 130 years old. It was 112 pounds reduced from 350, which seemed a pretty decent reduction, though whether I will ever wear it remains to be seen. I would describe it as “dressing gown style” if this can be described as a style (it can’t).

The past

I went to the funeral of one of my former teachers from Quaker school whilst in York (one of the loveliest, kindest, sunniest men I have ever met, his coffin was papered with pages from the Guardian because he was an avid reader and did the crossword every day) which was sad, but also fascinating, since many of my other former teachers were also there and during silent meeting for worship I was able to look around the room and try and work out who was who. They divided into: wholly and entirely unchanged and changed beyond all recognition but were all delightful. The maths teacher said she recognised me because I "still stand in the same way" and one of the English teachers said she recognised my hair which is interesting since it is not the same hair at all, and indeed not even mine. It was nice, generally, to be in a Quaker environment again. They are extremely sound and gentle and kind, and being around them taught me to sit still for hours on end, something no one else in my family can manage for more than three minutes before dismantling the remote control and fiddling with its battery case until murder is the only reasonable option.

The present

It is Good Friday which is not a holiday in Belgium so I am waiting for comments on a piece of work whilst undressed giants slump around me and I have just realised that due to some horrific miscalculation and despite having carefully bought a packet in M and S in preparation, I do not have a single hot cross bun. I am going to have to compensate this evening with my newly acquired Yorkshire tea gin, which I believe is the beverage our saviour would favour if he happened to be around and looking for a stiffener in spring 2017.

Competition time

My book came out in paperback while I was away and I have just taken delivery of twenty copies, which seems somewhat overkill-y, and is probably more copies than have actually sold, so shall I do a small giveaway? If you would like a copy, I will give 8 of them away to the first people to comment and tell me why they would like one (dough scraper, door stop, filling for wet shoes), though obviously I am not going to promise Bastardpost will actually get it to your house, this is frequently too much to ask from my postal nemeses.

Excited? I bet you are. If you want even more of me, I have a piece in Red this month about how all my friends live in the computer.

Here is the dog looking superior in the N Yorks sunshine. I can tell you he wasn't looking at all superior 24 hours earlier when he was on a terrible comedown from the sedatives we give him to survive the ferry crossing. We had to wrap him in a towel and leave him on a chair in the kitchen until he recovered, looking for all the world like Whistler's mother. I did not take a picture of that because it seemed cruel, but now I slightly regret it.

(Important question: do other people cheat their Fitbits? I need to know)


seraudnitz said...

Are you watching The Good Fight? I have just been ogling Maia's grey 'dressing gown style' coat in that. It clearly *is* a thing. Also, I would love a copy of your book to give to my mum. Is that too boring? If so, I could use it as a puppy toy. Inevitably, it may end up that way anyway.

Anonymous said...

Me, me, please! It will help me get through the Easter holidays in industrial northern France where I unfortunately live for the foreseeable future. Thank you for your blog, it cheers me up. Clare.

Anonymous said...

Hello, I'd love a book. My Easter weekend plan is to stay on or near the sofa and read...Lots. your book would therefore be included in future mammoth book sessions. Jo ps I also regret that there is no Dog as Whistler's Mother image but understand your reasoning.

anapestic said...

I would love a copy of your book. I will mostly just read it, though. Does it count as doing something if I read my favorite bits to my significant other while he is doing jigsaw puzzles on his iPad? He is always reading to me the results of the latest quiz on Facebook or some list like the Ten Best Cities to Retire in for People Who Bake (as if it were ever anything that useful: it is not). So if I read your book to him, that will a) be revenge, and b) establish my moral and aesthetic superiority.

FYI, cheating the Fitbit is definitely a thing. I find that double pumping my arms while I'm walking is a reliable method. I feel justified though because I'm sure it cheats me on other occasions.

Anonymous said...

No need for book, we too have just been to York designer outlet looking for a cheap dinner suit for very large, but still growing teenager (therefore suit needed to be cheap). The York outlet is excellent for that. Now waiting for Zeebrugge - I double counted the Yorkshire tea d hot cross buns. Phew! Still there.

Joanne said...

Hi, I would love a copy of your book - my daughter says it would help me to pass the time while she is away traveling around Asia. I think she is hoping it will stop me from sneaking behind her just out of sight so I can check she hasn't been kidnapped or got lost. It won't.

KarenC said...

Hi I would love a book, can send you English chocolate and hot cross buns in return. I would love to read so I can plan a trip to eat cake in Paris.

Anonymous said...

I would love your book! It's on my A*azon wishlist for Easter, but my husband hasn't placed order in time. So my Easter egg will be a voucher I could use to buy Sherlock DVD.
If I like your book, I promise to buy one for my sister, who used to live in Brussels (also Paris)!

Murphy said...

I would love a copy of your book to give to my friend Jane, who tends to over-idealize France as much as I do. I actually bought your book in hardcover, and I loved it so much I am planning on rereading it as soon as I finish reading this month's book group selection ! said...

I would love a copy of your book to take my mind of my husband dismantling and removing bedroom windows (loudly). I could retire to a sunny spot in the garden and bury my head in it.

Waffle said...

Well that's nine of you, plus Sheila who emailed so I'll have to stop there or Bastardpost will bankrupt me. Seraudnitz, Clare, Jo, Anapestic, Joanne, KarenC, Anon, Murphy (extra points for already buying - THANK YOU), Jacqui, send me your addresses and I'll do battle with the post office for you.

(Anapestic, this is very reassuring about the fitbit)

Madeleine said...

I would love to have a copy of your book because I bought it in hardback (via The Books That Built Me you did) and - to my shame- I haven't finished it yet. Let me finish and justify: the hardback is too heavy to hold satisfactorily at night when I am sleepily reading and I keep clonking self on nose when I doze off (*not* I stress because of your prose) and what with all the baby crap I am currently hauling around (is the sleepiness now explained?) I can't deal with hefting the extra weight. Also, if I have the paperback,I can gift the HB to my mother, who I know will love it.

Madeleine said...

PS You posted your "last orders" comment while I was busy proving that I am not a robot, if I tell you that my Fitbit seems to count swinging (on an actual swing- haven't tried the other kind, but who knows?) as steps, can I sneak in under the wire?

Waffle said...

Madeleine - ok, even though I do send you to sleep. x

Unknown said...

Are you enjoying the Yorkshire Tea Gin? I'm tempted to buy a bottle?x

Waffle said...

Jane - I've just started it tonight. It definitely *has* a taste (more reminiscent of British Rail fruitcake than tea for me, but I love British Rail fruitcake).... I'm not wholly convinced yet. I think a second one is needed to check. I'll keep you updated.

Unknown said...

Thank you for a delightful (as ever) post, and for responding to Jane re. gin, I definitely want to try it. At Christmas, I impressed some old middle-class Englishmen with my quest to try every type of gin (current favourites: Bathtub and Silent Pool), but I fear Yorkshire Tea Gin has not made it this far South - I have not seen it anywhere, one more reason to finally visit Yorkshire.
Can I borrow Smiting and Catering: A Mother's Lot, for a title of my book? :-)

mike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Could you restage Dog as Whistler's Mother, a la Cindy Sherman? it sounds so austerely perfect. could count as an educational holiday activity taking teens away from screens for ... hmm, probably 10 mins? I feel your pain there. my 2 boys off for the week too, and it has got to the point where I don't take the front door key on a dog walk, so that at least one of them has to haul himself off the bed and walk through the house to open it - exercise! any non-screen activity has to be planned by me, then exhaustingly executed with multilevel nagging. GRRRR.

Ms. Cactus

MargotLeadbetter said...

Ooh, I'd love a copy of the book, and for no reason at all because I read it on the kindle immediately after it was released ages ago, except that books are nice to have and its new cover is very smart.

I think my Fitbit cheats me. It keeps telling me I've done, for instance, 15k steps and so I assume this means I am super fit because it's way more than the required 10k. But then, alas, it emerges that I am not, and my thighs are still rather wobbly, and it's all quite disappointing, quite frankly.

JoSwin said...

Have already bought and read the paperback, and it is superb. I read it in two straight sittings because I genuinely couldn't stop reading it. (One of said sittings was In the bath, and I was so gripped I couldn't get out and had to keep topping up the hot water until it ran out). I kept howling things (in my head, obviously) like Noooo don't leave London! Noooo don't leave Olivier! It was heart-rending and painful and funny and very brave. The only trouble is that I need a sequel. Emma's Guide to Modern Parenting? I'd read that. Also How to Be Belgian, surely. With recipes. Can't wait.

Alan said...

I must say that I am shocked at how many of you bloggees have not already bought the book. I bought it in hardback by pre-order and my wife bought the Kindle edition.

We get the Blog for nothing, we get the Twitter for nothing, just show some commitment and buy the bloody book!

Also, I was out all day and missed all the freebies.

Anonymous said...

I liked your account of meeting your former teachers. A friend recently went to her school reunion and it evidently struck some sort of atavistic chord; on seeing a once rather strict teacher, my friend (by then in her 50s) instinctively put her hands behind her back so the teacher wouldn't see she was wearing nail varnish!

Anonymous said...

I hated my fitbit - can't remember why now, something it said to me or didn't say to me -I took against it and was determined to shut it up (or get its attention?, can't remember), which I did do by jiggling it every now and then (whilst otherwise sitting still) until i reached 10,000 steps; I reasoned that studies show thin people are more fidgety and so it was indeed improving my fitness. It is long lost now. I am samely fat with or without it.

Rebecca smith said...

No need for a copy of your book, thanks. I already have it on Kindle, though with a different cover here in Australia. I follow your blog on Bloglovin but somehow never connected you with the book that I bought via someone else's recommendation.
Hated my fitbit and its intrusive reminders and 'rewards'. Got a basic step counter at the supermarket instead. Have been known to jog on the spot at the foot of the bed before getting under the blankets, in order to get it to a nice round number. Family assures me this is quite a sight.

carolinefo said...

The Ouipette was MADE to be Whistler's Mother. Do not deny him his manifest destiny.

Also, I am trapped in the Tramuntana Mountains of Mallorca for 10 days, to provide assistance to my stepfather with the care
Of MamaFo , reports of whose imminent demise seem to have been greatly exaggerated, They have extensive domestic assistance, and my duties mostly consist of keeping my mother company when my stepfather needs to go out, as MamaFo can't be left alone.

This may not sound unduly taxing, but sitting in the same room with my mother necessitates being wreathed in clouds of smoke as, at the age of 86, she continues to chain smoke her way to extinction. I have bad lungs, and the smoke makes me cough. This is what happened yesterday:

MamaFo: let the cat in. No, not that cat, it's one of the (29) outdoor cats. It's Earl.Grey who needs to be let in. What do you mean, you don't know which are the indoor and outdoor cats?

MamaFo: (looking through the French windows at a hose pipe left out on the terrace by the gardener) What is that thing doing there? What kind of idiot leaves a hose pipe on the terrace? It's very annoying. Will you go out and find out what's going on.

I go out on to the terrace and remove the hose pipe from my mother's line of vision.

MamaFo (exhaling smoke): Why are you coughing? Have you got a cold ?

MamAFo (examining the large, pale coloured Chinese rug on the floor, her vision still eagle sharp) Why is the rug darker in the top right hand corner? What's the matter with it?

I stare at the rug, mystified.
Eventually, I see an infinitesimal darker shading in a small patch in the top right hand corner of the rug. Perhaps someone spilt something on it. You have to try very hard to see it.

MamaFo: This is intolerable! Get Nellie (the house-keeper) and tell her I want the rug turned round.

I get Nellle and together we move furniture and turn the rug round so that the darker area is no longer in her line of vision. MamoFo lights another cigarette.

MamaFo: Can't you take anything for that cough?

Another 10 minutes, another cigarette.


And so on, ad infinitum.

Waffle said...

Oh Caroline. I am secularly praying for you at this erm, challenging and smoke-filled time. It's lovely to hear from you though xxx

Alan - Ha, I love your spirited defence of my depleted goat fund (so far would stretch to a single lamb chop). THANK YOU.

Great relief you all think fitbit is a dick.

Dame Eleanor Hull said...

Yesterday on the highway I was passed by a van reading and I thought of you and the weepette before working out that it was VIP pet (which I know the weepette also is).

WOL said...

Unrealistic to hope I could get a copy of your book mailed to the middle (TX) of the next continent over, and cruel to ask you to fork over a small fortune in postage and bribes coerce your postage nemesis to attempt same. Are you on Amazon.US?

Paula Dear said...

I pre-ordered the paperback and took delivery of it this week. I've never done this for any book before, so do I get to claim another prize? p

Anonymous said...

Ha! I already bought your book - that will teach me, I need to procrastinate more!
Elizabeth in North Carolina, USA

Cindy Fried said...

Hi there, loved this post.

I have the book, so I'm not sucking up to you to get a copy. I took my daughter to The Books That Built Me, and we both got a copy. I loved it, read it immediately. She, on the other hand, is half way through an Eng. Lit. degree so is only reading Instagram hashtags.

Yes, the Easter holidays are great for tripping over teenagers eating cereal at 5 in the afternoon, having been offered healthy alternatives but declaring 'I can't eat that for breakfast' in indignant tones. I actually had to get my son to call me back at work at 5.30 one afternoon after banging on his sister's bedroom door to check if she was still alive. I had to wait for him to get home to do that as he was out at a cafe for 'breakfast' when I rang him.

It's the way I channel my father as I'm ranting at them that gets me.

People keep telling me I'll miss them when they leave home. The same people who tell one that schooldays are the best days of your life, I suspect.

Cathy Cullis said...

I have just read your book - I borrowed from my local library, by chance, it was in the shiny 'new books' section. I didn't know your blog, apologies, so I chose to borrow the book because I have a long term crush on French films despite not being able to speak a word of French etc... anyway, thoroughly enjoy reading thanks and big thumbs up to libraries for buying!

Shannon said...

I would love a copy! For me, and to share with my sister who loves your writing too...We've not been able to get your book yet. I'm in Washington State though, understand if you'd prefer to not ship.

Mrs Guy Garvey said...

I would love a copy of your book please.

I would read it to death and when we are both exhausted I would send it the same way as my divorce papers, shred it for bedding for the hen house. It gives me great please that the chickens shit and piss on him.

Kathy said...

Late in responding but this: your book is not available in the U.S. yet.

Waffle said...

Kathy - God, I know. No US publisher has expressed even a flutter of interest in it, so I'm afraid this is unlikely to change.

Poolie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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Waffle said...

Oh cor, Unknown, that is so kind of you. THANK YOU.

Poolie said...

After reading your book (paperback pre ordered on Amazon, on the recommendation of red mag) I found your blog and am now compelled to comment. The best, best read for a long time, I adored it, thank you! I happen to be half Belgian/British, have lived in Paris and have two small boys, so clearly it was always going to resonate, but oh how vividly. I soaked in my bath for hours, unable to stop reading and laughing. Sequel please!

Waffle said...

Poolie! Thank you so so much. I am genuinely thrilled.

Crazy Mom! said...

I would dearly LOVE a copy of your book.

I am sorry we are not able to see a picture of Dog as Whistler's Mother. However, I was able to find such pictures when I googled them. Most amusing....

Kristine said...

Oh my! How to follow those two charming, and entirely human, posts about divorce and muscle growth? All I wanted to add was that I live in the US and was able to purchase the book in hardback shortly after it was published. It's quite easy to find a reputable seller using Amazon, all without paying an arm and a leg in shipping. And of course for all of the free enjoyment I have gotten out of this blog, the least I could do was buy the book (I'm on Alan's side). No surprise at all that is is lovely and charming and a very fast read. So my fellow Americans, get thee to Amazon!

Waffle said...

Hehehehehehehee that bloody witchdoctor. I have deleted him again. THANK YOU Kristine.

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