Friday, 3 June 2016

Friday roundup

Last day to enter the BOOK COMPETITION. Roll up, roll up, parade your delusions and deceptions and win! I'm stocking up on Côte d'Or this weekend.

I have loads to say today. Well, a few things.

1. Panda News

Belgium has a BABY PANDA! This is brilliant, exciting news, though M was underwhelmed.

M: The third European country to have a panda baby? That is not very impressive.

E: Do you remember how long it took them to build the car park at Flagey? It was, like, eleven years! So it is very impressive indeed FOR BELGIUM.

Unfortunately the baby panda is gross. Ugh, look at it:



It looks like something you would feed an owl at an owl handling evening, or some kind of raw meat of the kind they sell in Belgian fritkots, except pink rather than grey as is traditional for such meats. Or a langoustine without all the whiskery bits. A food, anyway (some commenters have suggested it is a naked mole rat, which is also plausible). No wonder the mother panda keeps putting it into her mouth. Here is the langoustine having its first bottle. FOUL. I would draw your attention to the post below the langoustine entitled "Baby Boom aussi chez les capybaras" which is true cause for celebration.


2. Fatness News

I have eaten so much over the past 6 weeks my newest jeans are tight like unyielding sausage skin casings around my sausage thighs and very uncomfortable and I am really glum at the prospect of trying to slim down again. No more little choux buns and custard doughnuts and fat green olives with my martinis, just a perpetual regime of gruel, wailing and gnashing of teeth (aerobically, ideally). Oh, and martinis because life is hard enough with alcohol and I am not insane. I only got thinner in the first place due to last year's galloping anxiety meaning I didn't want to eat. Now I want to eat. Everything. Ugh.


3. Springwatch News

Alone in my love of Springwatch in this household, I am faced with repeated obstacles trying to watch the drama of the thoroughly pissed-off stone curlew, there is always something else someone must watch or some reason why I must be dragged away from windswept enthusiasts in cagoules looking at small brown birds with their backs to the camera. I love Springwatch so much, but I know it is time for Springwatch to end soon, because I am starting to have Feelings for Chris Packham.


4. Book News

No, not mine. No news about that. I would still be super super grateful if you gave it an Amazon review though, which is apparently very important for some reason I cannot wholly fathom. But what I actually meant is that I have put May's reading up on the Reading page. There was a lot of it, though I think due to several short books. A good selection, overall, and surprisingly lacking in murder.

Percentages

30% Green sodding vegetables
20% Geography of Belgium revision
20% Translation lunacy
20% There is no more sombre enemy of good art than the canoe sized trainers in the hall, study leave and the fact that my children have their own bloody keys now
10% Pavlovian Friday night martini drooling

You?

32 comments:

Jonathan said...

Ok. You wore me down (not that I needed much wearing down). I just bought the book from Amazon - apparently it will be waiting for me on my Kindle when I get home. Now I'm remembering Petite Anglaise, and wondering what Catherine is doing these days...

Alan said...

Why has Springwatch Unsprung turned into Top Gear?

Why the weird, milling about, audience and why are they so eager to laugh for no reason?

Why does Kwis Packham wear a different caterpillar type jacket every night, is he being sponsored? is he not overheating under the studio lights? everyone else is wearing T-shirts.

Anonymous said...

Give up the buns and donuts. Switch to bloody marys with cream cheese-stuffed olives. This counts as a vegetable AND a dairy serving.

kath said...

I have got a packet of sodding french fancies you bastard. What on earth is Packham's memoir going to do to me?

Mama Of Boys said...

I was so confused for such a long time. I thought that was the new baby panda eating a flump of sorts. Then when I figured it out I went 'ewww' loudly and apparently Husband missed something vital on NCIS and is now grumping!

Jane Murray Bird said...

I still blush remembering the time Chris Packham commented on my bumble bee orgy photo on Twitter.

ellen kirkendall said...

I have discovered that while my jeans are forgiving the scale is not. No yummy delicacies for me either.

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I also first thought the mother panda must be the baby panda! Actual baby panda wasn't identifiable as an animal to me, let alone a mammal, or panda.

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