Tuesday, 10 May 2016

Grosse Fatigue

I can't write any of the intelligent thoughtful posts I meant to write because I've been awake since half 4 and cannot function in any meaningful way, or indeed in anyway except to shovel food into my mouth whilst crying. This will not stop me posting something however. Onwards! With wholly non book promotional complaining! Because that is Brand Waffle.


4:30 wake up, again.

I think there are spiders nesting in my spine following long, insect-ridden walk on Sunday.

Multi-faceted teenage bullshit.

Lumpy like a toad all over, thanks pollen.

General emotional wreck and ended up crying next to the washing machine yesterday and it wasn't even because the washing machine filter was blocked with Twix wrappers and small change and foul smelling skeins of blue mystery fibre like it usually is. Totes emosh. Maybe current audiobook of choice, When Breath Becomes Air, was also unwise.


It's LILAC WEEK (p314 of my book) and the whole of Brussels smells amazing. Mine (p338 of my book, I do love lilac) is in full, heady flower. You can just see it in the background of this seemingly idyllic scene of chicken sunbathing, which was in fact a precursor to a vicious bout of feather pecking.

I cracked open my Christine Ferber jam (raspberry and violet, cf here, p303) at a low point this afternoon and man, is it good. Say what you like about France, Christine Ferber makes the best jam in the world. Would Britain get it post-Brexit? PONDER THAT, Leave campaigners. NB Jam is definitely a gel for airline reg purposes, M and I checked on our Paris trip.

I haven't cried next to the washing machine today.

I have two properly fun things lined up over the next couple of weeks involving leaving the house (indeed, the country).

Dutch class cheered me RIGHT up (temporarily, but at least reminded me why I go), especially our halting discussion of family feuds.

B sent me some top quality owls.

I didn't get caught (accidentally) fare dodging this afternoon.

The desk for whose delivery I have been waiting in for some three weeks has been located. In Germany. Is this an up? I don't even know any more.

My father just sent me a blurry picture of a new baby giraffe.

I absolutely love these shortish World Service programmes called Where Are You Going?


I have some spare books I could give away. Should I have a competition? I could, I dunno, add in some Côte d'Or Lait Aux Amandes Caramélisées avec Une Pointe de Sel as featured on p301 and get my son to draw Dr Capybara (p.269). Does anyone have any idea what form the competition should take that might in some way assist with selling some sodding books? Anyone? Book promotional #winning right here.


65% Thirst
35% Bedtime



Jo Heinrich said...

Yes! My favourite ever chocolate (I've just been eating the saddest old stale corner of my last stockpiled bar of it from last summer's French trip) and the book I've been hankering after for some weeks now, that would be the competition for me. Unfortunately I can't think of any way to tie it in with book sales. In fact it would deprive you of a pretty inevitable sale if I were to win it. Can't think of any two things that would make me happier though...

Jamie said...

This link is a video of an owl riding a singing toy horse in Japan. Enjoy. http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2016/04/owl-rides-toy-horse.html?m=1

Anonymous said...

Contest idea: most embarrassing place for emotional, mid-life crisis cry.

ganching said...

Contest idea: Best photograph of old-fashioned looking little girls with owl https://flic.kr/p/Fn3R4W
Your welcome as our young lifestyle bloggers say.

Jane Murray Bird said...

I bought seven lilacs from Lidl's this winter. Not flowering yet as spring doesn't come to Scotland until 19th September.

Anna Maria said...

Yes to competition! I suffer from OCC (obsessive-compulsive comping),so even though I've already got your book, I'd love to win one, to gift to a friend.
Some years ago, I made a considerable effort to obtain CF's recipe book on recommendations of some serious food blogger friends), but have never used it, mainly because I'd never tried any of her products, so don't feel sufficiently motivated to recreate them (nothing to do with laziness;-)).

Anonymous said...

Are you doing a London signing event? I'm sure that would help. By the way, I am 'anon' due to technical incompetence.

Waffle said...

Anon - I would really have liked to, but apparently not. No plans. Bit sad.

Claire said...

That's a shame about the signing, they are always good fun. Perhaps a contest where people comment with their most French/least French moments? Could be fun and generate some amusing tweets?

Anonymous said...

I don't have much advice about increasing book sales because I don't know how publishers go about these things nowadays but maybe setting up a facebook/ tumblr/ twitter/ instagram page for the actual book could be one way to maybe reach students/ young people, for example? I think your book would be an excellent addition to libraries at university language departaments and language schools in general, even secondary schools.
I think you should definitely look into organising book-signing events in London and elsewhere in the UK - surely half of York would buy the book? Could you maybe do a reading at Betty's, for example? Maybe at Blackwell's in Oxford as well? Or at your Oxford college? Just brainstorming here, ignore if not helpful :)

kath said...

Have you seen this week is season 2 of Zola? S1 really good I love Glenda. http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b06pydll

chiclit said...

I heartily endorse setting up accounts for the book, you could post the video of the reading, link to reviews etc. Also-you can re-tweet those links every few days. People may have missed the first time. As one of your long time American mostly lurkers, I was delighted to have taken a day off right before your book arrived, and able to watch the video as if I were at a reading-lying on my bed in the northwest corner of the US I was at a "virtual reading" in Paris!I was beside myself with how amazing it was. Have you considered You Tube or vlogging? Contest ideas: win a book for a friend, your sister, etc enter via twitter or instagram and let M or your sister pick winner. Or how about contest as to who can get the best picture of adult, child, animal, inanimate object in a beret in the manner of the cover art? As for signings, I don't know Europe being from the US, but there are smaller libraries, cafes, book club meetings, all places I have seen authors peddling their wares. Volunteer recognition events and fundraising luncheons here are always looking for speakers-and some folks bring their books along for purchase (possibly with a few pennies to the non profit). There are templates online for creating press releases, posters and I am sure people here could help. If there is something your US readers can do, like email folks, go on Goodreads, call stores and ask about the book, let us know. (also brainstorming here, so also feel free to ignore). Much love to you-not sure you really grasp how much your work as meant to so many of us!

Anonymous said...

Great to see a solid 5 stars on Amazon, well deserved!! 26 reviews in less than a month is seriously impressive as well!! Take a bow, dear Waffle!
What is it with the punishment aspect of lunch? Make yourself something nice that you actually feel like eating!
Maybe if you explain what's in the fridge every morning and what needs to be used on a particular day (wilting spinach, glut of strawberries, etc.) we can make suggestions? You could add some info about your mood and if it needs lifting or dampening. You never know, it might be the start of a mass movement of people who all have the same lunches every day. Or something.
OK, I'm just being annoying now. I'll get back to work.

frau antje said...

Up: Enjoying your book, this is my favorite genre. Would imagine it's hard to read without learning something. I fear this is where you lost American publishers.

Down: Wondering...where is 'my' structural-engineer-by-training to make 'me' feel safe? Well, okay, actually just to stare and say, "Oh yeah, you're fucked."

Shit is het raken van de ventilator hier (nogal vreselijk), Going to do my best to keep an even keel, but if you've taught me anything, it is that I am not a robot.
(or a diplomat, or a picnic, but hey).

The universal cabinet said...

When Breath Becomes Air is definitely sob-inducing, even without washing machine angst thrown in. I can only apologise to those couples who'd booked into the rooms either side of me for a romantic minibreak in Rye the weekend I was reading it. The strangled howling coming through the walls would have put a crimp in anyone's plans. Such great writing in that book amongst the pain though.

I also support a book competition as despite having my ticket for The Books That Built Me, that is far too far way in June and I'm getting book-greed to read your book NOW.

Helen said...

You can organise your own London signing by the way? Just find a friendly independent bookshop (cafe/arts space also) and do it....it feels a bit weird to go it alone but I have a friend who did this round my way and it was great. I'm sure you would fill places so don't worry about that....

cruella said...

I totally agree with Helen! York would also be great. And Normandie! All the places that are featured in your excellent book! With appropriate booze and cake!

Hilary said...

Oh yes, come to Oxford Blackwells, I'd definitely come along! Great idea, Anon...

Anonymous said...

As usual, I am coming late to this, but how about a book contest in which people write you a short scenario of a time when they tried and failed to be something? You could choose the ones that made you laugh/weep/vomit the most remarkably, and reward that person with your lovely book. AN added bonus would be the possibility of publishing them on your blog, thus freeing you to look at owl videos, attempt implausible French patisserie construction, start watching Game of Thrones, etc.

Waffle said...

Anon - This is an excellent idea and I am stealing it thxbai

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