Monday, 7 March 2016

Monday survey

Listening: Just started The Butcher's Hook. BLOODY HELL, this is already going in a direction I wasn't expecting, we're not on Blue Peter now, Toto. Excellent.

Dog walk conditions: Sleet

Work dilemmas: How to translate a "joke" about psychoanalysis, how to classify a document about Danish chiropractors, where to find a job as a hermit.

Awful freelance lunch: 


Chaff, ruminant food, punishment soup. 

This is what you must eat on Mondays, apparently, if your weekend was all religieuses, millefeuilles, dry martinis, fat green olives, grapefruit scented Aperol Spritzes and Doritos.

Freelance lunchtime viewing: ten minutes of Trapped, but it's cold and depressing enough here without added Icelandic murder, so owls.

Freelance conversation:

E: I can't do ten years of this, I'm becoming a hermit.

M: Ok. You already have solid experience of being self-employed.

E: Yes. With limited income and a high degree of isolation. I hope they can see past my lack of a beard to my true hermit potential.

M: I think baldness works just as well. You might have to cast the wig away.

E: Ok, but I need a hat. Caves are cold.

M: Also sack dresses.

E: What, I have to cast them away too?

M: No, just you already have some. So you do not need to buy a whole new hermit wardrobe.

Low point: Spilling punishment soup all over leg in a flailing incident. 

High point: Still to come I hope. Like, probably bedtime. Or, in view of the terrifying apocalyptic blackness of the sky, perhaps being knocked out by one of a plague of toads.

Percentages:

30% Lemsip
30% Tea
30% Teenager exam leave induced hypertension
10% Mystery eye soreness

You?

5 comments:

http://givemeaplacetostandearth.blogspot.co.uk said...

So far I have opened a tweet about rain and the sound of rain.

Eating some pasta with pheasant.

Trying to convince guests that my breakfast of yoghurt and jalape├▒o chillies is the way forwards.

Wondering what happened to my teenage son's voice.

I nearly got the verify thing with waterfalls wrong...

Sarah said...

Discovered (listened to what he said) colleague massive misogynist. Conversation his statement, my retaliation. TOTAL SILENCE, others stare at keyboards. Repeat.
All parties waiting (wishing) for me to take hol (Sat)
Me: considering turning argon on when he is tape changing in computer room.
Sad:will never happen.

Jane Murray Bird said...

On what planet is avo toast punishment food??

Waffle said...

Jane - Your diet is all foraged plant matter. Some of us like a Twix.

Jane Murray Bird said...

Pfffffffffffft. You confuse blog with life. I like a Twix dunked in Nutella and chased with a Creme Egg.