JESUS, I woke up with a filthy cold, I'd be furious about it if I even had the energy. What the hell. I haven't had more than two non-sick days in about six weeks, I don't know if it's because I gave up my previous regimen of vitamins/snake oil/hippie dust in disgust when I got the flu despite them all, or because all the evil within me is coming out or just dumb luck but this has been my worst winter in living memory, healthwise and if they ever find out that Lemsip Max is really bad for you I am screwed.
Anyway, it is Crufts, of which I probably should disapprove but love and, look, here is the majestic Eric, my hero of last year, winning his group tonight:
Hurrah! All hail the mighty Eric (named for Eric Cantona, show name Ch Yakee Ooh Aah Cantona)
"He's basically a hairy slug," said my son in tones of approving wonder.
We were also amused tonight to hear a dog on Crufts (the schipperke, fact fans) being described thus:
"it emerged from the Belgian canals"
which made it sound like it had evolved from the Belgian canals, dragging itself out of the primordial slime/shopping trolley infested murk of the Bruxelles-Charleroi, shedding its gills as it went, to emerge triumphant if probably quite smelly onto dry land. There is one of these dogs, daft looking thing, that is often in the park in the mornings and now I know it marks a Belgian evolutionary watershed, I will view it with new respect. Possibly.
Less pleasantly the children spent much of the "utility group" (a gross misnomer) judging session evaluating which dogs had bigger jowls/wattle than me. The answer was basically none, not even the shar pei. The runner up of the "utility" group was a doge called Leonardo Dicaprio.
Given you were all so helpful with the whole easy food for book club scenario I am going to try you with another. We are having some people (two, nice, ordinary, not judgey) round for lunch on Sunday and I must make lunch but the problem is the last time they came I totally fucked up with a stupid stupid Jamie Oliver recipe for mac and cheese which ended up basically making dried bricks of claggy pasta. How can I redeem myself? I was wondering about this though probably with something other than orzo because what the hell, why and I would probably just serve the yoghurt in a bowl on the side. Also, I wouldn't heat the oven to 1800°C because I don't have an industrial kiln, just a basic Electrolux. Any major pitfalls I may have missed? Any better ideas? NB: they are French, it must contain ANIMALS.