Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Barrel scrapings

I'm going to level with you - I have absolutely nothing to say today. Lots of child herding with associated expense, bits and pieces of work, couple of admin phone calls which revealed I have lost the power of speech, chips for dinner (#templefood) then F made us watch some of the Donald Trump documentary which was just distressing. I am going to put the bin out and wash my wig (long overdue) and see if anything comes to me.

Ok, here's what I have:

M drew my attention to THIS, owl lovers. I can't go but DAMN I wish I could. Go for me! Draw owl babies! Give me a full account!

(Very) minor drama on the metro this afternoon when three armed soldiers with machine guns cornered some guy on our platform and shouted at him really loudly, whilst brandishing their gigantic guns. I think it was to do with the fact that he was wheeling a giant toolbox around, but it was unclear and our metro came before we could do any detailed rubber-necking. The atmosphere does not feel specially tense to me - I have all the sensitivity of a house brick, I think - though our stop turned out to be shut due to terrorism, somehow, which was inconvenient. I bet the local BBC radio station which asked me to give my views about Brussels a week after the attacks, then thought better of it, are really kicking themselves now what with the incisive, flawless socio-political insight I am giving out here. This stuff is priceless.

Call from my father, very excitable, to say that a trailer full of ewes and tiny twin lambs with black knees had just been dropped off in the field in front of the house in the Dales. I like how Marie-Antoinette-ish this sounds, as if we have ordered them for our amusement (we have not) (I wish we could) (I would order a small family of goats too if this were a thing).

Text from my mum's best friend whilst I was panic buying baked goods in M&S with an actual (tiny) review she had seen in an actual magazine. This is all a bit real isn't it.


(Good Housekeeping, which is pleasing because my housekeeping is famously good, ahem)

I think there is also going to be an event of sorts in Brussels on 28th April, will furnish more details when I have them. 

I have been asked for my favourite line ever from any book for a bit of book promo. Do you have such a thing? I don't think I do, because I can't remember any at all. My only current contenders are "Up to a point, Lord Copper" from Scoop or "Reality" sa Molesworth 2 "is so unspeakably sordid it make me shudder". What would yours be? 

100% past midnight and sleep is necessary. I apologise for the foregoing.

(Just totally fiddled the publication date so it looked like I got this in before midnight. Repeat after me Emma NO ONE CARES)

30 comments:

Betty M said...

You know of course that asking for a favourite lines means that we will all immediately forget any and all lines in every book we have ever read. Well worked on me any rate.

cruella said...

I think Paris reference led my thoughts to Hemingway and A Moveable Feast were I seem to believe there is a line reminiscing about that time "when we were very poor and very happy" or some such nonsense. Husband and I like to quote it to each other when feeling especially middle-ages and sensible. Also Robert Frost's "What became of it all?" is a cheery favourite.

Patience_Crabstick said...

I don't know if this is my favorite line from a book, but it is definitely the line I quote to myself often: "Let's think about this rationally." It's what the mother in Helen Dewitt's The Last Samurai says to herself whenever she's in a panic-inducing situation. Like when her six year old leaves a theater without her and wanders out into the streets of London all by himself and she has no idea where he is.

Dydo.W said...

I'm a little bit haunted by the line..."not waving but drowning" from the poem of the same name. I swim in the ocean every morning and sometimes, when the sea is heavy and choppy, as it was today, I get a bit panicky in case I am overwhelmed and need saving. I don't want the dog walkers on the beach, (the sane people!) to say..."Oh, we thought she was waving!"

"I was much to far out all my life
And not waving but drowning".(Stevie Smith)

Dydo.W said...

Should be 'too far' sorry.(re previous comment)

Anonymous said...

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/563419.Girls_Forever_Brave_and_True
I quote this title "Girls forever brave and true" when I want to express female solidarity or some such. It's a bit hard to explain how it's useful, but it works for me. I've also adapted it to "Boys together brave and true" while watching the lads embarking on some collaborative project together, when it seems to fit too.

Heather (NZ)

Sophie said...

'It was a dark and stormy night ...' though had forgotten that particular Molesworth which will please me all day.


Am also intermittently chortling about Clippy the Paperclip which is v appropriate for my dog - "Hello. It appears that you are having a Wednesday martini, with associated snacks. Would you like some help with those?"

mountainear said...

Cold Comfort Farm's 'There'll be no butter in Hell!'

Waffle said...

Mountainear - YES! THAT IS A GOOD ONE.

Hilary said...

I am definitely not the pessimist this would suggest, but still find myself muttering under my breath occasionally:

"To summarise the summary of the summary: people are a problem" - DA, Restaurant at the end of the Universe

Actually I quite like most people.

Alison said...

I've always been fond of this fine line of abuse from The Duchess of Malfi: "I would sooner eat a dead pigeon taken from the soles of the feet of one sick of the plague, than kiss one of you fasting."

Unfortunately, I rarely find the opportunity to use it in real life, whereas I'm always resorting to "a bob for the driver" from A Room with a View.

Crazy Mom! said...

I rather like
They seek him here, they seek him there
Those Frenchies seek him everywhere
Is he in heaven or is he in hell?
That demned elusive Pimpernel
From The Scarlet Pimpernel

Or
It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.
A Tale of Two Cities

What I'd like to have some one quote to me (and mean it) is this:
You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.
(Rhett in Gone With the Wind)

Waffle said...

Alison - It is now my life's work to try and find a way to use that Duchess of Malfi line. AMAZING.

Crazy Mom! said...

I grow old ... I grow old ...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled
....
Do I dare to eat a peach?

(Prufrock, of course)

BDM said...

Isabel in Robert Wilson's *You Will Never Find Me* quotes Dickens:
"Accidents can occur in the best-regulated families."
No idea which book it appears in but pretty much sums up life IMO.
- Brenda

C Swain said...

'Nothing is everything.' Elizabeth Jane Howard. Fair play
though, Duchess of Malfi wins.

Anonymous said...

My favorite and most used quote is 'When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.' from Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist

All my best, Candace from Reno, NV

Bytowner said...

I tend to remember little fragments rather than whole sentences-' quasi-velvet shoes' from Lucky Jim has rattled in my head for the last 30+ years, preventing me from ever wearing actual velvet shoes. Also from my youth 'Hell is other people' from JP Sartre.
A lifetime of reading and this is what I can remember when asked ... sigh.
There is always 'call me Ishmael' Could this in any way be linked to your book and quoted on the cover?

greatbiglizard said...

Mine is an invented quotation by Iain Banks, which seems like a excellent authorly wheeze re: cake retention/consumption as you can be as pompous as you like to make your point and yet still pretend it's nothing to do with you:

"One hundred idiots make idiotic plans and carry them out. All but one justly fail. The hundredth idiot, whose plan succeeded
through pure luck, is immediately convinced he is a genius."

Anonymous said...

Another Lucky Jim fan here. I have always loved when Dixon is reading back his own historical thesis with sardonic horror:

'In considering this strangely neglected topic,' it began. This what neglected topic? This strangely what topic? This strangely neglected what?

Anonymous said...

Just found your blog. Appropriate that I respond here much too late to be of any help. From Forster, Margaret to Helen Schlegel:
"Think it over and alter yourself, or we shan't have happy lives."

Best wishes for continued success!

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