Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Baked goods

I went on a bit of a baking jag today, not in an ambitious French way, just in a comforting, occupy your hands and mouth with good honest British stodge way

Dan Lepard scones, literally the only thing I have ever cooked from Dan Lepard's massive baking book due to his fondness for Weird Flours.

 Self-explanatory, surely. Self-explanatorily delicious, certainly.

This unattractive thing is a flamiche aux poireaux (leek pie). It is very tasty due to its being mainly composed of butter and cream.

Did I not have work to do? Yes, quite a lot, but I also had the concentration span of a crack weasel, hence baking. I have been here all day twitching and consequently have nothing whatsoever to tell you. I promise to do better tomorrow. I am collecting "this is like prison" child from the ski trip coach at 8 tomorrow, because an hour in a chilly car park to collect an exhausted and monosyllabic 12 year old is a bracing start to the day. I have failed to engage with Easter in any way, there are no eggs, maybe I will have to hire that chicken costume and terrify my children instead. Given the eldest said he would "prefer money" this seems justifiable. I don't doubt he would prefer money, I would prefer a Shetland pony and some Elemis Supersoak, maybe half a Xanax, but we are both going to have to make do with a MaltEaster bunny and/or a murderous chicken. Possibly a murdered chicken given how loud and obnoxious evil Pepper is currently.


I wrote something for The Pool about the whole Brussels thing.

I am going to Shakespeare & Co on my launch date! This is very exciting. Observe how in the foregoing link I am giving the Man Booker International Prize Panel (well, their listing) a weird needy stare, the kind that will make them pretend to remember a thing they need to do urgently and back away apologetically but swiftly.


50% Genuinely obsessed with this bird. I especially love the deliberate, slow way he goes for the last green cup.
30% Bra misery, how can you both gape AND create torso weals? How is this a thing? It's like having simultaneous spots and wrinkles (yep, that too).
10% Annoyed by weird waffle enthusiast strangers including me in their waffle debates on Twitter. Today some bloke in Las Vegas tweeted a picture of a massive green waffle and @ed me in, and I have been drawn into people commenting on this horror waffle all day. Short of tweeting "I AM NOT AN ACTUAL WAFFLE" I can't work out what to do about it.
10% Oppressed by unwatched rapidly expiring Trapped episodes. Will anyone button up their overcoat, or remember their scarves? I doubt it.



ganching said...

OK this is a spoiler but he does zip his coat up in the last episode.

Happydog said...

Shakespeare and Co! In Paris! The Husband and I were in Paris last summer and I made a pilgrimage to this most wonderful of bookstores. And as soon as your book is available in Canada I will order it promise!

cruella said...

Well said on The Pool. (on? In?) Baking is a very comforting activity to be sure. Keep calm and carry on, as it were.

Betty M said...

Persevere with Dan Lepard there are some great things in there. Have been thinking of you there in Brussels - and remembering 7/7 which is still very vivid.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful writing in "the Pool", thankyou.
All best wishes to you and yours, and the lovely city.
Heather (NZ)

Patience_Crabstick said...

Oh my goodness, your twitter waffle dilemma is hilarious.

Waffle said...

Patience - GAH, SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR DAMN GREEN WAFFLE YOU FOOLS is what I want to tweet.

Anonymous said...

Dear Waffle,
I am glad you have been baking. For a minute I thought you had been "banking" and I was baffled. Your ski trip prison son will be fine once he has had his fill of those cookies and a long sleep. This kind of school trip hardship builds character, I'm told.
Your text in The Pool is lovely.
The launch at Shakespeare & Co. is amazing, you deserve every ounce of success and recognition.
Wishing you and all the Waffles a Happy Easter, eggs or not.

Anonymous said...

Procrastibaking, it's called :)

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