Monday, 8 February 2016



Ok, this is scarcely credible but I HAVE MY PHONE BACK, PRAISE NATHAN. It's a bit buggered and keeps shutting itself down of its own accord, but basically works. I can't really remember what I used to do with it and have dropped it violently about twelve times, but still, at least I have a functioning alarm clock and can catch up on Our Mutual Friend. Look, as promised here is a picture of the difference between Tabasco eggs and Pepper eggs, which is not as impressive as I thought it would be:

Alone in the house, I spent the weekend in an orgy of Indian vegetarian food, blowsy French cakes and female oriented viewing (ie. films in which nothing blows up and people talk about their feelings). I bought flowers. I kept the house tidy. I had baths. It was amazing.

I am reading the new Elly Griffiths (lovely archeology crime) and all I want to do is go back to bed and read more of it and since I am on my own tonight I can do just that. I might even have a hot water bottle.


Pepper, the new Gwyneth Paltrow hen, is a cold blooded killer. She escapes effortlessly twenty thousand times a day and waits by the back door for me to come out, then flies up into my face to attack me. I both hate and respect her simultaneously.

The hedgehog crawled into the hen house during the night, causing maximum hen indignation and then DIED. I don't think Pepper murdered it, but I wouldn't put it past her. Poor hedgehog. You outlived your natural life span as gleaned from Google approximately fourfold and were a delightful, forceful, entertaining presence about three times a year. I will miss you, our lowest maintenance pet, terribly.

The dog's stomach is making the most ominous noises.

In non-livestock bad news, I have started wearing a woolly hat in the house in the manner of Benny from Crossroads and this is DEFINITELY the slippery slope. Indeed, I think it's about halfway down the slippery slope when combined with wood shavings, scarf, slippers, thus:

I don't know where the hat came from. Might be Prog Rock's. It's not even that cold, it's more that I am finding my "hair" really annoying at the moment. This is not a good look for a person who is not an extra in Last of the Summer Wine. Crone hat, muttering, what's next? Hoarding my own urine in jam jars? Still, I remain pleased with that wallpaper.

This is very boring, sorry. I am going to London tomorrow then Cardiff the day after for book related activities (yikes), so perhaps later in the week I can regale you with tales of interactions with other humans or more probably tales of my interaction with a wall if my social skills remain at their usual level.

How was your day?


Place to Stand said...

I am not seeing Benny from Crossorads more Scandi edgy - the same vibe as the odd Danish bloke who knocked El Bulli and Heston off the top spot by serving whelks and other odd bits.= from the seashore.

As for a female weekend, I had one too - a Radox bath, got really lost with the dog and in joyous anarchy spent an hour snarfing Prue Leith's 'memoir' Relish.

Never happier.

Waffle said...

Radox outperforms 97% of bath stuffs, doesn't it? I LOVE Radox. Thank you for saying I look like Rene whassisface from Noma. I will settle for that. *goes to forage for sea ants*

Sonya said...

I'm dressed in essentially the same outfit. It is the working from home thing. All clothing decisions are driven by comfort and desire not to have to do anything with my hair, which in middle age is suddenly curly in a NOT helpful way. Faded boyfriend jeans, moccasins lined with patchy worn rabbit fur, holey cashmere jumper, scarf, and my lovely new red touque.

Your weekend sounds blissful, by the way. I am sitting in midst of snowstorm & using it to justify my already strong tendency to hibernate.

Ellie said...

My day has mainly involved hormone-related stuffing of my face and crying at an episode of RuPaul's Drag Race, although it has just been improved by browsing the Sotheby's Deborah Mitford catalogue from which I want all the things, but mainly this:

CJ said...

A weekend on one's own, I feel a shiver of excitement just thinking about it. Unlikely to EVER happen to me though. Condolences on the hedgehog, I should be sad too. Almost never see them here. Cardiff is my neck of the woods, I should warn you we are having a lot of weather at the moment so you may want to bring the hat. Everything is acceptable for those who work at home. All sorts of warm accessories worn here. Have a good trip. CJ xx

place to stand said...

Sea ants - just the ticket !

I have a feeling things are about to turn full circle on the food front and we will see a nouvelle vague ( can't believe I just wrote that.. ) of the old 50 franc lunch sawdust on the floor arsey waiter French bistro sort of place.

Have a friend in Stockholm and she says if she sees anymore monochrome or muted she will swim home.

Your piece on advice etc has given great food for thought - I have a newly arrived teenager and I still can't quite fathom how he isn't the little boy who used to sing le grand cerf at nursery..

The red Radox is particularly good I to Diptyque candle - sort of visual / olfactory dichotomy of modern life...

Alison said...

Gloves next; it's the new winter-hobo look. Are you doing public things in London, or is it on the private side of book business? And when you start doing readings for your book, can you please try to come to Bath to Mr B's Emporium?

Waffle said...

Alison - these aren't public things (in-house presentation for publisher's sales team, then trip to see independent booksellers thingy) but I hope so! I mean, by then I'll have the fingerless gloves and smell really bad, but hey.

Place to Stand - Obvs I had to launch into un grand cerf dans sa maison WITH ACTIONS when I read that. I'm sure there are better things those braincells could contain.

Alan said...

Could I just second Alison's request that you include Mr B's Emporium on your itinerary? I haven't pre-ordered your book yet but intend to do so next time I go to Mr B's, one of the best independent bookshops.

Place to stand said...

There's a playmobil le grand cerf thing on you tube I think where the chasseur actually has some serious heavy duty son's friend found the tiresome Miss Molly anyday.

If you're ever find you have a spare moment when online...

Very much looking forward to your oeuvre - I'm a Brit but grew up half and half, studied in Champagne which was really rough.

These days don't know quite what I am !

When I am not doing this I am having really serious email conversations with my lawyer - honest.

Stacy said...

I work at home a fair amount as well--fingerless gloves are a must, and when it's really cold, my fluffy bathrobe. I refuse to turn up the heat. Thank God on sunny days my apartment warms up nicely.

Anonymous said...

I have trichotillomania and when it was at its worst coincided with that time in the 00s where trucker caps were mysteriously fashionable. I thought that was great news for me at the time, but now I cringe that I went everywhere from uni to restaurants to Westminster abbey in a trucker cap. Thankfully I think few photos exist of this... So anyway, your hat situation could be worse :)

Shanners said...

I know this is very late, but based on your recommendation, have started reading Elly Griffiths. LOVE LOVE LOVE! So good! How did I not know about her before?! She's completely my type of author - both subject matter, and style. (I have now taken out her entire series from my local library, bar the first one (of course! Mysteriously 'unavailable'. Really, library?!).

Also, along the lines of 'what to wear when one works from home', I will be doing much training delivery via webinar over the next few nights, to places far flung. (Basically anywhere that isn't New Zealand). I'm not good with late nights, so will be in my PJs, so the minute I hang up, I can throw myself into bed. I will not be sharing video. Obvs. (Actually, even if I were doing them during the day, if I was at home, I'd be in PJs. Who am I kidding).

Waffle said...

Shanners - Yay! There's no pleasure like finding an author you love who has written LOTS OF BOOKS.

KPB said...

I recently bought orthotic thongs (flip flops). Now THAT is a slippery slope.

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