Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Eleven Eleven

Armistice Day is a public holiday in Belgium. My family have honoured the war dead by playing Call of Duty: Black Ops for a large number of hours. I have honoured the war dead by making and then scanning a number of manuscript mark-ups intended to stop people suing me and by walking the dog at length, holding up Chinese flashcards and drinking a not very nice cappuccino (why will I never learn, they are all not very nice in Belgium). Later, there will be fish and chips, not to honour the war dead, but because it is Wednesday and we always have fish and chips on Wednesday.

Random shit: 

Installation trousers

This morning I was idly browsing black trousers (what, shut up, this is a valid public holiday activity) when I came across this marvellous piece of copy "The Devoe Pants offer a relaxed fit inspired by handmade ceramics and abstract art objects." Um, how, exactly? Because they do not look to me, the casual trouser observer, to be greatly inspired by abstract art objects. I mean, sure, some of the crazy three-armed Rei Kawakubo garments they sell in the Mad Japanese corner of Liberty looks like they are, but these trousers just look like.. trousers.

Lucky Men 

I walked past this earlier:

In fairness, there was a stack of bottles of Evian in one corner. The lucky men are occasionally allowed something other than beer. Men reading: what else would you like them to provide in this shop for you to feel really really lucky? Perhaps a Lazy Man Mug? The Lucky Emma shop would sell: super-cheap cashmere, even cheaper British industrial confectionery, pygmy goats and live owls. Admittedly, I can see some logistical difficulties with getting these stock lines to co-exist peacefully.

Buffet of wrongdoing

Conversation earlier with M:

E: (redacted) sit on a throne of lies

M: Yes. Lies woven together like coconut fronds.

E: A beach hut of lies. A lounger of lies.

M: A rum arrangé of deceit. An international buffet of wrongdoing.

(infantile virtual laughter)


20% Courbatures (I love that word)

20% Really really need a new moisturiser, have been using nothing at all for months now, it's not really working out for me

20% Puzzled by tone of contemporary discourse in many spheres

20% Sugar after asking my son to "surprise me" with a drink, which he duly did

10% Nederlands huiswerk, both mine and F's, which are of similar degrees of difficulty

10% Pavlovian Wednesday wine anticipation, mmmmm fritkot wine.

You? What would be in a shop called Lucky (Your name)?


Ellie said...

Lucky Ellie would contain tiny legume plants in bloom, a selection of fascinating small beetles including a tank of those frantic diving ones that they have in the Houston Zoo, thin-crust pizza, a tank of bobtail squids, border collie puppies, Manhattans on tap, an extra, functioning liver that I could switch out when necessary, 18th century manuscripts that I could touch, tea, sphinx moths and a comfortable bed behind a curtain with a good reading lamp and a big pile of compulsively readable but not too brainless modern literary fiction.

Alan said...

A bit blokey I’m afraid but the Lucky Alan department store boasts, on the ground floor, The Craghoppers Lounge where we browse a wide range of outdoor clothing and action trousers (yes, it’s a thing). Goretex envy satisfied we move through to the Wall of Ale, a comprehensive display of the products from the finest microbreweries of the world. From here it is a short step to the World of Digital Radios which in turn leads to The CD Shop of Proper Music where every disc, of whatever genre, supplies 12 tracks, all of which are wonderful and none of which feature Bono, anybody who has won a televised talent show or James Corden (these are also mandatory conditions for Lucky Alan World, I’m still working on that).

Taking the lift to the first floor we enter The Bookshop of Eternal Delight where every book captivates from the opening sentence and maintains its charm for a further 300 pages without tempting the reader to throw it across the room after 20 pages or to sue the author. Whilst leafing through such a volume we notice the first delicious odours drifting down from the rooftop where The Binoche Bistro is gearing up for lunch when every Steak is succulent and every Frite crisp and golden, every Moule soft, orange and plumptious, the red wine thoughtful and mellow, the Tarte au Citron freshly cleansing. Obviously the coffee is rich, dark and complex and Ms Binoche herself is in the habit of sharing a digestif with the regulars who include Alan Bennet, Michael Palin, David Attenborough, Victoria Wood, Rebecca Front, my wife and of course Our Lady of the Waffles.

The basement features an unvisited room empty apart from a second hand rowing machine, for no other reason than to justify the sign on the wall outside which reads “To the Lucky Gym”.

ellen kirkendall said...

My lucky store might feature quality knitting yarns and craft books available at fire sale prices with half of the store a charming cafe with excellent coffee fast wifi and good light.

Jane Murray Bird said...

Lucky Jane sells: roadkill corvid taxidermy; tea dresses with scratch 'n' sniff cavorting polecat print; pre-curated, whimsically mismatched, charity shop, floral crockery collections for the price they cost in the actual charity shop; miniatures of frangelico by the till, like the bourbon in Thelma and Louise; all basic clothing items, household linens etc made in pale grey cashmere for the price of cotton; selection boxes of the world's coffee-flavoured chocolates; neroli-impregnated bath tubs and oyster-frites. And you're doing a book signing there at noon.

Nimble said...

Lucky Me: Books and stationery, trampolines, cotton sweaters, kir royale on tap.

gwen said...

Oh god, I love this question. Lucky Gwen would stock puppies and babies that I could snuggle endlessly but have no actual responsibility for, library books with no return dates, cinnamon-raisin bagels that are always freshly baked, and a large selection of volunteer masseurs waiting to provide free foot rubs at all times.

badvinaigrette said...

Lucky Laura would have copper toilet roll holders, those tiny little turtles that are no longer allowed as pets, water features, a personal chef, free wifi, underfloor heating, remote controlled candles, it would smell like amber from Marrakesh and everyone would get a John Lewis voucher.

Hannah said...

Lucky Hannah would have every beautiful, minimal Swedish clothing and homeware brand at h&m/IKEA prices. It would have unfinished wooden floors and white walls and soft glowing lights. It would have friendly lurcher puppies bounding about and causing mayhem that you could take home for the weekend. the staff would be friendly and cool and because they were so charming, make you feel cool too. The music section would be scandi electro pop that you'd never heard of but was instantly catchy and on vinyl. And the book section would be full of fascinating and charming modern literature, interspersed with some accessible classics and young adult sci fi all with beautifully designed covers. Also doc martens that have already been worn in, the perfect fit of jeans in every colour and an endless supply of watches that you can wear for a week, return and swap with another style. Sigh.

mountainear said...

Lucky Felicity would be like the department store in 'I Capture the Castle' with deep carpets and smelling of bluebell woods. (It goes without saying that there would be no crowds of stupid dawdling people in there.) It would be stocked with miniature dachshund puppies and Bengal kittens. I could have one of each. For free.

There would be remarkable clothes which removed years and weight and a hair stylist whose magic was worked silently, in minutes rather than interminable hours. There would be jewellery - lovely, large and luminous pearls in particular. And books. Nothing too challenging but preselected for readability. If a bag of sunshine could be arranged I' know I'd find in there.

As an afterthought I hope that somewhere - perhaps in a sealed room - there might be some cheese.

Lola said...

This is a brilliant concept. Lucky Lola is an strange emporium containing single estate dark chocolate varieties all on special offer, clothes that actually fit me and don't make me look like a washed out tramp, gorgeous fresh vegetables, and a badminton court.

Ranveer Patil said...

IPL 2016 auction live Yuvraj Singh
IPL 2016 Auction Kings xi
IPL 2016 Team Player Virender Sehwag

Ranveer Patil said...

This is great do you have a catologue if so I would love one to share with friends and family.
Asia Cup T20 2016 Schedule Time Table
Watch Asia Cup T20 Live Streaming Online & Broadcasting List
New Zealand Team Squad Players List

Ranveer Patil said...

This is great do you have a catologue if so I would love one to share with friends and family.
Cricbuzz T20 World Cup 2016 Warm Up Match Score
Cricbuzz T20 World Cup 2016 Warm Up Match Score
Cricbuzz T20 World Cup 2016 Warm Up Match Score

Rohit Dangar said...

thankx for sharing will forward to my friend circle icc t20 cricket worldcup 2016 rio olympic game 2016 hollybollybuzz finance times news

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your post. Click to play !

- Mortal Kombat XL
- Atari Breakout
- Dragon Ball Z Games

Computaholics said...

IPL 2017 Schedule
Rio olympics 2016 Dates
rio olympics 2016
Summer Olympics 2016
rio olympics dates
2016 summer olympics dates
2016 olympics dates
Rio olympics 2016 Schedule
2016 summer olympics
rio Summer olympics 2016
olympics 2016
rio 2016
olympic games
rio olympics 2016
summer olympics 2016
summer olympics
2016 summer olympics
olympics 2016
rio olympics 2016
olympic 2016 games
rio olympics 2016
summer olympics 2016
summer olympics
2016 summer olympics

Candy Sim said...

All the best blogs that is very useful for keeping me share the ideas
of the future as well this is really what I was looking for, and I am
very happy to come here. Thank you very much
earn to die
earn to die 2
earn to die 3
Hi! I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and finally got the
earn to die 4
courage to go ahead and give youu a shout out from
earn to die 6
Austin Texas! Just wanted to tell
earn to die 5
Hi! I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and finally got the
happy wheels
strike force heroes
you keep up the fantastic work!my weblog
age of war
earn to die 5
good game empire
tank trouble
tank trouble 2
strike force heroes

Sapnokirani Hamari said...

This blog is very helpful and impressive for me. Thanks for share this post.
Russian Delhi Escorts Service

Delhi Escorts Service

Independent Escorts in Delhi

Independent Escorts in Gurgaon

Independent Amritsar Call Girls

Akshita Chopra said...

I am very happy that you have written such a good blog. I like it and i am going to bookmark it. Thanks
Independent Escorts In Delhi

Ayushi Kapoor said...

I am going to bookmark this post i like this post very much thanks for such a good post. Thanks a lot.

Delhi Escort

sonam desai said...

I am very much happy to find this post. I have read this post very carefully i like this post. Thanks for such a great post.

Sonam Desai Escort Service In Delhi

rekha shukla said...

I like the way you post. I like the topic. Thanks for such a good blog. I like it. Thanks.

Rekha Shukla Independent Escort Service In Delhi

Annu Verma said...

One of the most obvious reason to choose the independent escorts is their low price without losing anything in terms of the quality service. Moreover, you can tell all your desires and wishes directly to them as there are no agents of the agency. You can directly deal with these types of Delhi escorts. Some of them will be ready to accommodate a special request, which an agency will not offer.

Riya Verma said...

The majority of the girls independently has their own loyal customers, that comes only to them again and again. They have very good skills through which they advertise themselves, i.e. online platform. You will see that many of them have all these abilities. There are lots of questions raised. One of them is that why should they share their fee with the agency. These Escorts in Delhi choose the intelligent way to work independently.

vishal malhotra said...

Lovely blog post i am going to bookmark this blog post. Very good i like this. Thanks

Independent Escorts In Delhi

Sakshi Ahuja said...

Come us to independent escorts in Delhi

Amit Chauhan said...

Event Organisers in india
We are in the business of creating experiences and our firm belief is that an event may be forgotten, but our involvement will last a lifetime. We, Event organiser, a developer in shaping good and mesmerizing events, exhibitions, conferences, marriage ceremonies, birthday parties, anniversary celebrations, corporate success parties, receptions, Entertainment, and Communications Management. , PR or the digital space has been helpful in shaping the event management industry in India. Organising a new event such as Exhibitions, Corporate & Proprietary Events workshops, Conference Organizing, Seminars, fairs ,Musical events, Sports and Corporate Event Management can be a daunting task, particularly for an individual or committee planning an event for the first time.
We are in the business of creating experiences and our firm belief is that an event may be forgotten, but our involvement will last a lifetime. We, Event organiser, a developer in shaping good and mesmerizing events. You can find us on or email us at

Harshita Khan said...

I love your post here is good information for us thanks for sharing with us.
Call Girls in 5 Star Hotel in Jaipur

Harshita Khan said...

This post is amazing here is more information for us thanks for sharing with us.
Model Escorts Service Chandigarh

Independentgirlmehak said...

jaipur escorts
Jaipur escorts agency
Independent escorts in jaipur
Jaipur escorts service
Jaipur Escort Agency
Jaipur escorts agency
Jaipur escorts agency
Jaipur escorts

Evelin Harriet said...

I'm happy to read this article.Thanks for your information! Keep sharing..
erp in chennai | cloud erp providers in chennai | web design company in chennai

Vicky Sharma said...

independent Juhu escorts
escorts in Andheri
escorts service in Vashi
independent Thane escorts
independent escorts in Bandra
Colaba call girls
call girls in Borivali
Navi-mumbai escorts

Vicky Sharma said...

Kandivali escorts service
Malad escorts agency
independent Chembur escorts
escorts in Churchgate
escorts service in Goregaon
independent Kurla escorts
independent escorts in Powai
Versova call girls

Vicky Sharma said...

Juhu escorts agency
independent Andheri escorts
escorts in Vashi
escorts service in Thane
independent Bandra escorts
independent escorts in Colaba
Borivali call girls
call girls in Navi-mumbai

Vicky Sharma said...

Kandivali escorts
Malad escorts service
Chembur escorts agency
independent Churchgate escorts
escorts in Goregaon
escorts service in Kurla
independent Powai escorts

Vicky Sharma said...

Mumbai escorts agency
mumbai independent escorts
Mumbai escorts
Mumbai call girls
Mumbai escorts agency