Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Forty days: Pt 31 (um, nothing)

I have to tell you, I have nothing for you today. This is not because I am an empty husk after a day of composing transcendent, luminous prose. I am a full, guilty husk. Today's programme: staring, a couple of biscuits, faffing, light despair, lining up balsawood penguins and some truly atrocious "Religious education" homework:

What? What? I am not French enough for this. I hope never to be French enough for this.

I loved your comforting tales of similarly half-arsed days (except for the ones who have horses because I was blinded by jealousy), thank you. And thank you for commenting generally, it is hugely appreciated as I stagger half-arsedly through this pointless exercise. In fact, it's the only thing keeping me going.

(pause while I console eldest child over collapsed Design Tech bridge and search drafts folder for inspiration. There are no drafts.)

I am sorry, I am going to have to resort to some links.

This is an extraordinarily clear-sighted piece of writing - Meghan Daum on her mother's death. I read it first thing this morning and it made me late because I was sitting on the bathroom floor holding my breath as I read.

B's contribution: a fairly jaw-dropping piece of salacious American legal gossip.

F uncovered this incredible holiday for book perverts.

M: "this is what it's like inside your chickens' heads'.

Want to waste half your day like me? Help is at hand with this fiendishly infuriating quiz.

Loved this about The Knowledge.

Go home, Elle Belgique, you are drunk.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting every day, no matter what, it makes me happy. I intended to comment on your earlier posts, but did not get around to do it yet. Procrastination possibilities based on past posts: Unfuck your dishwasher by running empty of dishes and after adding it with a liter of undiluted vinegar (you could even try the 25% acidity kind, but use less). Should help with smell and soap scum, you could add a cup full for every run, cheap way to keep glasses neat. Extra time suck: clean and wash the food filter. Also, makes sure the tap water is really hot beforehand, in case the dishwasher does not heat it up itself. Also, as a chemist I can tell you that dishwasher tabs are a ripoff and are not nearly as good as plain powder. A report if this actually works might fill your next post!

Anonymous said...

Argh I'm stuck on 17/20 in that quiz. Should never have clicked, though I'm pleasantly surprised how quickly I got those 17 - clearly sleep deprivation (2 month old twins) helps my lateral thinking.

Sedaris said...

The legal gossip was salacious as promised. The diaper-wearing reminded me of astronaut Lisa Nowak, who also used a diaper in her quest for an efficient crime. Further investigation between professional success and diapers is warranted. The bit about "The Knowledge" of London was interesting. I live near Washington, DC which was purposely built to be confusing and the taxi drivers there never know where anything is. Most of the time I have to call someone for directions to relay to the driver because hell if I can understand Wahington either.

Melinda said...

That Meghan Daum essay was....words fail me....so compelling. Thank you for sharing. Loving your frequent posts and sorry I don't comment more.

The Reluctant Launderer said...

Poor Alecia Schmuhl. I know if I suddenly went from quite attractive to sprouting a beard, I'd probably start stabbing people too.

Waffle said...

Anon 1 - Thank you for this. I have done the vinegar thing once and tried to clean the filter but I fear I must try again. Bastardmachine. Hmm. I wonder about the heating.

Anon 2 Sorry. I can help you if you want. It's maddening.

Anonymous said...

I discovered your blog a few days ago and I absolutely love it. I'm currently away from home studying in Liege (very, very gloomy) so I find your posts comforting and hilarious in equal measure.
Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Ashamed to say I was not aware that Belgian Elle ? Belge-Elle ? existed. Drunk indeed. I'm off to put some socks on.

Anonymous said...

Right, about that quiz. I got them all except the stopwatch & the door. Can I swap you any answers or have you completed it?

Anonymous said...

I'll tweet you instead, to not put spoilers on here...

Stacy said...

I would have been late too, had I had to be anywhere after starting that essay. Families are so complicated--I am profoundly grateful that a) my relationship with my mom was great and b) her death was quick. Thank you for the link and all your great posts this month.

Anonymous said...

Chicken video is right level of serious I can handle right now.
Heather (NZ)

Kimberly said...

I'll also chime in and say thank you for all of your posting. I just discovered your blog (I don't know where from) and you make me smile.

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