Thursday, 6 November 2014

Forty days: Pt 19

Yesterday's wintry euphoria has vanished in a cloud of school crapness and homework trauma and the neighbour's insistence that the Communards and free jazz saxophone do work together if you spend enough hours trying to blend them (say five? Possibly six? Every day?). I am cross and slightly ashamed about the homework thing, because I was a bit of an arsehole. I mean, faults on both sides but I am the adult. I also crossly threw something (unobserved, I strop alone) and have broken a compass. Maturity, it eludes me. After all that, I went out and walked the dog and looked at the giant beautiful full moon and had a bath and chilled the fuck out slightly.

Apart from that I had my weekly tussle with Cartolino, the horse who is almost as nervous as me. The Door of Terror was shut today, so we didn't have any door related freak outs, but then he saw a man in a striped rugby shirt (admittedly very ugly (the shirt not the man)) and lost his shit again.

He doesn't look nervy, gurning here, but do not trust his sweet, hairy face. Also, apparently another horse head-butted him recently and he needed stitches in his forehead (forehead? Is that a horse term? Sub-forelock? Poll? This diagram suggests 'forehead' is ok)! I'd be twitchy too if that happened to me.


Whenever I get on him, the stirrup leathers are super short, so there is obviously a fearless seven year old riding him before I do. I am beyond even feeling mortified about this, I just want to stay alive (why do I keep doing this? I don't really know: because it used to be easy and delightful and a pleasure and I don't want to just give up on it, I suppose. Also, all my retirement fantasies involve decrepit horses).

Looking forward to:

- the hot water bottle I will be placing under my croup shortly (I might use horse terms for all body parts henceforth, people should definitely have withers and fetlocks and gaskins);

- my Friday night pizza;

- the return of Liberty of London;

- Going to Mrs Trefusis's literary salon, The Books That Built Me, next week;

- Downloading the new Lissa Evans, because I loved her previous;

- MY BIRTHDAY


What are you looking forward to?


PS You should probably watch this baby otter learning to swim, via lovely Karen. It is relevant to all our interests.

PPS I have totally miscalculated this forty day thing because my birthday is the 26th and that just doesn't work, does it? Shit. This is SO TYPICAL.

10 comments:

Rosie Redfield said...

Lissa Evans - what should I read first?

Waffle said...

Rosie - the one I liked was Their Finest Hour and a Half and I've heard the new one is great too..

Sally said...

My horse at the riding school (I am a very wobbly middle aged rider) is terrified of white lines in the middle of the road. Which amazes me slightly. And of course "the plastic bag of doom" that flaps in the hedge. And gates for some reason, in case a big ravening beastie jumps out perhaps.

I am BUYING a pony (he comes next Sunday to our farm) and I spend most nights thinking oh god oh god oh god in a haze of panic. My first EVER pony...and I'm 40. He's currently ridden by a 12 year old girl (I'm only 5 foot) and very quiet. I'm in a whirl of turnout rugs, shavings and fetlocks.

For the first week I might just look at him. The second week I might get on and off again straight away. By next year I might have managed a rising trot. I am NERVOUS. But like you, I can't resist, and I get miserable if I'm not around ponies.

Lump in a grumpy farmer husband who doesn't see the point of horses, and you have a recipe of DELIGHTFULNESS!

Anyway I shall stop blethering on about my life, and tell you to keep riding! I think at 40 you have a strong sense of danger, and that means we are much more SENSIBLE than bouncy 12 year olds that jump on and off and gallop about being marvellous.

Keep writing! Don't worry about the compass. I broke a bath panel after kicking it last week when the tiny kids wouldn't stop fighting...

Waffle said...

Oh Sally, I am jealous and impressed and desperate to know more. Picture sometime???

Anonymous said...

Otter is adorable!!!!
Heather (NZ)

cruella said...

Looking forward to a night out with friends involving FILMED David Bowie exhibition, now, that's a first, but I guess we deserve it since we're stubborn enough to live on the wrong side of nearly everything. I might have dressed up for the party afterwards but I haven't found a Bowie persona involving a moustache so I give that one a miss.

Patience_Crabstick said...

I am laughing out loud in my cube over this horse who is afraid of striped rugby shirts.
I am looking forward to embarking on a new knitting project.

Anonymous said...

Dear Waffle, you really do have my sympathies regarding your insufferable neighbour. I wonder if, like me, you fantasise regularly about storming round, thumping on the door and giving him what for!? Murderous thoughts don’t begin to describe the level of rage it induces! Anyway....things I’m looking forward to: starting my new book tonight (The Rosie Project); Pizza tomorrow night; bargain priced jeans I bought on ebay arriving in the post.
Ash :-)
P.S. I laughed out loud with sincere affection at the miscalculation of the 40 day countdown - priceless, lol! I have to say, it only makes the endeavour all the more endearing and unique ;o)

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