Thursday, 2 October 2014

Up your blowhole

Wot wot.


I can't leave the skin at the corner of my mouth alone and now my face looks like a festering mass of corruption for NO REASON except that I can't stop pulling at my dry skin. There was nothing wrong with it in the first place! I have created a festering mouth problem through sheer neurosis. I have just made it bleed again whilst typing this and am mopping up the blood with a green Post-it like some kind of savage.

(God, I look rough. That picture is an exact representation of my mental and physical state)

My younger child has a bad back, which is a strange ailment for a ten-year-old and has been up in the night pleading for Calpol (see haggardness/grey skin tone of above photo) and required 3 days off school, which in turn has meant much more catering than usual ("er, we've got .. bread? And this old kale I bought by mistake") and wall-to-wall repeats of Gadget Man. I have been fretting with increasing intensity about him and today took him off to see an orthopedic specialist. It did not help much, though he had an x-ray and nothing is broken, so there's that. But it still hurts and he is very much not himself. I no like.

Filling yesterday. Awful, though it started with a very gentle injection, so mad props to the tiny dentist for that. He is one of those who works in utter silence, which is generally my preferred option (informed consent, hell no thank you, please treat me like a malleable halfwit), but in this case made for a couple of unnerving interludes where he would do something, then sit for a minute in utter silence, during which I assumed he was contemplating some catastrophic error he had just made.

The combination of the two things above mean my limping finances are now ready to be put out of their misery with a swift shot to the head. Yes, some of it will eventually be reimbursed in this nirvana of socialised medicine, but until then, who the fuck knows. Gruel?

VAT deadline = am surrounded by horrible scraps of paper and looking for many more missing scraps of paper and wondering where I put that paper file into which I put all the pieces of paper with which I simply did not wish to deal. This is my favourite so far:

Eh? Stoppache? 

I am harbouring Work Resentments and am now exhausted by a chestful of bad feelings.

New idiot tortoise is still not eating. I put her in front of likely tortoise foods daily. Nothing doing.

I had to lend L the proper camera today for a school project, due to him waiting until five minutes to what-the-fuck-why-haven't-you-left-yet o'clock this morning to tell me he needed one. I am TERRIFIED he will break or lose it.

I got into bed ten minutes ago (it's 15:39) and this really cannot end well.


Hmmm, I'm not feeling very "up", I confess. However:

Text update: "de caméra is safe and soond"

Horizontality update: I managed to get out of bed by 16:40.

Eldest child, through supreme effort of parental nagging and over-investment has managed 8 out of 10 in his Dutch test. This is quite the exploit, hard as that is to imagine.

My daft Brussels/London/Paris in a day gig was actually quite blissful - quiet trains, lovely meals, booze. My only regret was that the Eurostar put me in business class and I couldn't remotely take advantage of all the free stuff, due to already being up to my eyeballs in food and beverages. Frustrated, I filled my handbag with small bottles of water and magazines until I could barely carry it and eyed the complimentary champagne sadly. Props also to the Eurostar for serving a Scotch Egg as an afternoon snack, which my French fellow passengers eyed in much the same way as if they had been offered a battered dead mouse. I had lunch in London with a charming man off Twitter who had no apparent homicidal tendencies and declared me "not predatory" (high praise indeed) and dinner in Paris with my sister. I still can't quite get my head around the fact my sister - the erstwhile space cadette - lives in Paris and is an adult with a job. I think this is quite common among elder siblings.

Sundari at around 1 minute 20 here.

I am not especially busy and am doing useful things like reading books and thinking (ha, staring into space) instead of hustling for more work. Of course, I am temperamentally incapable of hustling for work, so I might as well make a virtue of it. I have a book to write after all (yeah, shit, I should get on with that, I suppose).

Two fun events in London in the next month to look forward to, plus a trip to Tetanus Manor at half term, mixed blessing that that is, where hopefully we will get to meet my niece and nephew's new puppy as well as whatever array of rotting carrion my father has laid on for us.

Eldest child has just spontaneously bought me a packet of Maltesers! Awwww. This might very well be the best thing to happen to me all week.

A picture

Current levels of activity:


55% tired
10% oh god, so tired
10% Maltesers
10% toothpaste stains
10% tedious nagging harpy
5% limp, neglected kale guilt



Lauren said...

Something to cheer you up then - baby owls paying with a go pro camera! You may have already seen it...

Waffle said...

OH I LIKE THAT VERY MUCH! Thank you Lauren.

Lindsey said...

I echo your dry lip angst with my ripped thumb cuticle. I just can't leave it alone and now it is sore and bleeding. Also, I managed to punch myself in the face in my sleep and have given myself a subconjunctival haemorrhage so my eye is all bloody and disgusting. I'm really quite the catch...

On a completely different note, have you read the utterly wonderful'H is for Hawk' by Helen Macdonald? I think you would enjoy it - positive and accurate Guardian review here:

Who woudn't want to read about a hawk called Mabel?

Anonymous said...

Poor little guy with the sore back! Last year my daughter had severe neck pain and I can't remember the name of what the doctor prescribed: some homeopathic drops from Germany that worked like magic. Her neck muscles were really stiff and very sore, she was downright miserable and couldn't move her head at all. If I remember the name I will comment again.
Oh, and having a wee siesta is a very worthy habit, nothing wrong with that! ;)

LS said...

My younger sister has an expense account, secretaries, and as a favour to her clients i.e. not her day job, she co-ordinates disaster relief missions involving doctors, engineers, aid workers and helicopters at her disposal. I don't even have a proper job now, and when I did, I would OCD over setting out tiles, labour over the ergonimically optimal position for a loo roll holder, index light switches, stacking waste pipes, etc..

I didn't know it was a thing, I thought it was just me. Thank you.

Poor L. A bad back is no fun at any age. I hope he feels better soon! Good luck with the receipts too.

Patience_Crabstick said...

"Kale guilt" ha ha! I think I buy vegetables soley to avoid judgement from other shoppers.

Mrs Ford said...

Hope that you and your family will be feeling more Up soon, and in the meantime just a random despatch from my own family life in the hope it might cheer you up.

My younger son (about the age of your elder I think, but NOT bilingual, so no excuse) made the mistake of asking me to check his English essay last night - supposed to be a piece of creative writing about recent School Sponsored Walk, in reality a tediously detailed explanation of his own particularly impressive speed, ending with him getting "border and border" while waiting for others to catch up.

Led to inescapable conclusion that I have failed in every conceivable way.

Lisa-Marie said...

This is excellent. STOP PICKING YOUR BLOODY LIP FOR FUCK SAKE. I got three replacement fillings done and a root removed yesterday. Similar bank woes.

Unknown said...

Louis Vuitton HandbagIf Replica Louis Vuitton is the a lot of louis vuitton replica accepted best of fashionable woman,added arch brands continuously acquaintance huge demand.Also,Good-Handbag Chanel replica handbag,The Chanel replica backpack was aboriginal alien in February 1955- appropriately the name 2.55.Coco Chanel advised the backpack for her own use so some of the appearance acquaint us a little bit about her affairs as the aboriginal fashionista! Also,to amuse the tastes of chanel replica anniversary woman,We accumulation added than 20 high-quality Replicas Backpack and acclaimed cast Replicas Handbag,including replica of accoutrements by Chanel,Fendi,Balenciaga,Hermes,Gucci,And abounding added brands and models are on the Good-Handbag.Which allowance can be as admirable as Chanel replica handbags? You will acquaintance a abundant bulk of gucci replica achievement by alms Chanel replicas that are calmly accessible at affordable prices.However,Chanel replicas have to be accurate and of top quality.This is not an affair nowadays and a lot of Swiss replica watches accumulate time as accurately as the absolute stuff.The capital advantage of application these Swiss replica watches is that one can acquirement added than one of them and yet do not bother.Try to acquirement added than one aboriginal Swiss watch and you will see the cavity it makes in your wallet.For breitling replica the amount of one aboriginal Swiss watch,you can acquirement a amount of Swiss replica watches.The manufacturers of these Swiss replica watches consistently accumulate their banal up to date.As son as a new or adapted adaptation of a acclaimed Swiss watch is alien in the market,the artisans accomplishment the Swiss replica watches will accompany out a replica of that in a few weeks.

swiss replica watches said...

For the reason that Zenith, conceives, makes and puts together its movements moving around on its courses inside Ce Locle, across Switzerland, it can also be termed to Replica Watches UK provide a Exercise Sit replica watches UK back and watch best replica watches UK Make. A phrase and a ensure in superiority which can be unusual for every watch mannequin today. Then simply, obtaining established what they sensed wound up being the suitable observe move, Georges Favre-Jacot fairly recently gazed upward in the starlit heavens. That storyline proceeds, he and she found a major constellation switching on the Rod starlet. For Georges, the highly replica Rado successful people revolving on the axis considering the Pole celeb valued a movements belonging to the rotates in addition to the trolley wheels in the axes replica Balenciaga Classic handbags while in the activity he'd simply established. It ended up then she or he decided and be able to to call their very own brand-new actions, and it will be Create, whenever the words which designates the optimum time your galaxy, zenith. He moreover implemented all the superstar considering firm's custom logo design.

Anonymous said...

look at every organization you may be occupied with as to the administrations and publicizing help they accommodate you to advance their item or administrations. Do they have flags you can utilize, content, messages promotions, and so on for you to rapidly put in your advancement pages? What's more, make certain to peruse the "Terms" of your associate understanding in the matter of how and when you will get your payments, what you may or may not be able to in advancing their item or administrations, how you can end your relationship, and so on. One of the assets our organization
cipto junaedy
cipto junaedy
cipto junaedy
cipto junaedy seminar
cipto junaedy ebook
cipto junaedy seminar
gives is a choice of strong, demonstrated organizations with several separate items and administrations you can choose from for your business to advance.

Anonymous said...

good from its choices select the Include Resource choice create Mobdro for iPhone 6 in letting loose the enjoyable on Live streaming your favorite nice.

艾丰 said...

cartier outlet
nike uk store
canada goose outlet store
ugg boots clearance
ray ban sunglasses outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
michael kors bags
coach outlet
polo ralph lauren
cheap nba jerseys

Unknown said...

adidas trainers
manchester united jersey
nuggets jerseys
chelsea jersey
ugg outlet
oakley sunglasses
coach outlet canada
ferragamo outlet
fitflops sale clearance
uggs outlet

Unknown said...

manolo blahnik shoes
michael kors outlet online
hermes belt
cheap nba jerseys
canada goose jackets
nike shoes
coach outlet online
pandora charms outlet
pandora jewelry
pandora charms outlet

56 said...

0806jejeEh bien, tout d'abord, ces deux nouveaux Kelty Child air jordan future low noir pas cher Carriers vous offrent toujours les mêmes caractéristiques qui ont fait la renommée du Child Transporteur Kelty. Alors vous avez pris goût au fantastique globe des merveilleux cigares. Vous trouverez des organisations et des associations existantes par pays et par région qui visent à asics gel lyte v gris homme regrouper ces ophtalmologistes. Comme il est vraiment produit loin d'une ingénierie hybride, l'efficacité de la marchandise est assurée. Nike Max Air Traditionnel BW Brun foncé Les techniques de la jambe blanchie sont certaines nike chaussures de tennis de vous permettre d'être plus à la mode dans l'œil des autres! Ces types de chaussures avec le design spécifique semblent très reconnus par d'autres hommes et femmes! Humour indiqué le collier de nike air max 1 chaussures coloris rouge blanc marron formation épais rembourré réel ainsi que la langue. La plupart des organisations diront qu'ils utilisent "ceci ou cela" pour sécuriser les rivets, mais l'essentiel est toujours que ce ne sont que des couches de corrections à New Balance 009 Chaussures un design beaucoup moins cher et vieux.

chenlili said...

new balance
nike mercurial
michael kors handbags
baseball bats
undefeated clothing
kate spade outlet
michael kors outlet
ray ban sunglasses
true religion outlet

Unknown said...

gucci bags
tiffany & co
nfl jerseys
iphone case
pandora bijoux
chanel handbags
polo lacoste
marc jacobs
supra shoes
dansko shoes

Unknown said...


coach outlet
pandora jewelry
coach outlet
ray ban sunglasses
jordan shoes
ferragamo shoes
true religion jeans
red bottom shoes
hermes belt
asics shoes

Gian Nuraksyah said...

Share nih Obat benjolan di siku tangan kanan dan kiri think Obat edema paru know Obat benjolan di kemaluan wanita sebelah kiri & kanan dive Obat keloid di dada hold Obat syaraf kejepit di tulang ekor reading Obat mata buram sebelah kiri dan kanan touch Obat telat datang bulan maybe Obat sudah lama tidak haid keep Obat keloid di wajah Thank you...

Dede Herbal said...

Thank you for sharing the information. See also information from us through the following article! Thank you :)

Tips Jitu Atasi Gangguan Tidur (insomnia)
Kurmaqu Sari kurma Original
Cara Menyembuhkan Hernia Tanpa Operasi
Cara Menghilangkan Bintil/Bintitan di Mata

ahmed said...

Ils purgent constamment les choses en excès. Pas deux fois par an ou à chaque nouvelle saison, mais tous les jours, tout le temps ils pensent: Ai-je besoin de ça? Est-ce que je le veux? Ils ont également des listes prêtes d'endroits où ils peuvent donner des articles indésirables plutôt que de les mettre en stock.
شركة تنظيف
شركة تنسيق حدائق بالرياض
شركة تنظيف منازل بالخرج
شركة تنظيف فلل بالرياض