Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Everything is broken*

(* must be sung in style of Bob Dylan, thus. This song reminds me so much of Prog Rock, see also, and appropriately, "Been down so damn long" and "Feel like I'm fixin' to die". I think of my stepfather as a basically optimistic and serene man, but he certainly likes a black lyric. Whoopee we're all gonna die)


1. My brand new Mac Air, doing something horrifying involving being stuck on caps lock, meaning I am now locked out entirely. Have tried all those reset alchemy things, no dice. Cannot deal. Must deal.

2. My back (still)

3. My knee (again)

4. My spirit (I actually tried to get into a cupboard yesterday afternoon to see if it was as dark and cosy as it looked. I did not fit).

5 ... and as of two minutes ago, also the washing machine, the stupid drama queen bastard washing machine AGAIN. It'll be dog shit bags in the filter again, it usually is.


Watching Father Jack say sorry over and over again (I keep this clip open on my phone at all times. This, a capybara with a paper bag round its neck in a swimming pool, and that thing about naming animals in German. When things are bad I look at them until I feel better. If you have any suggested additions to this list, I am all ears).

Kid done GOOD in his bizarre Belgian external exam. Thank fuck for that. He got 91% in French! This is little short of a miracle! In your FACE accords des participes pass├ęs des verbes pronominaux. Now time for a summer of sitting around in pyjamas watching Jeremy Clarkson (there is, sadly, no accounting for pre-teen taste).

Singing Owl on a Swiffer to the tune of Bird on a Wire.

This short film of a mahout washing his elephant (though it also made me a bit weepy, for it is beautiful and calm and I want to wash an elephant).

My most magnificent friend B sending me an email that ended with the immortal line:

"Finally and probably most importantly, on the way home walking down George Street, I saw a seagull eating a still-spasming pigeon".


30% Apple Care terror
30% Parental pride
10% Lost clothing bafflement
10% Bewilderment at why the Muffinski's muffin has not conquered the world.
20% Last day of school tomorrow aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.



Lydia said...

I recommend watching this video in a quiet room:

Also, your Mac Book should still be covered by Apple Care:

Feel better soon.

Accidental Londoner said...

Oh, I hear you. I have taken to singing (both in my head and occasionally out loud when the need arises) that ridiculously annoying Lego Movie song, "Everything is Awesome" (eurgh), but with the words changed to "Everything is Awful". (Try it!) It's oddly cheering.

Anonymous said...

Can you get into your Mac Book by turning on the accessibility settings? It should let you use an on-screen keyboard. I once dropped a bowl of pasta on my laptop and had to type like this for three weeks.

Alison said...

It sounds like B lives in Bath, where seagulls and pigeons are locked in mortal and timeless battle...

Bernard Black's reply is antidote to everything:

Anonymous said...

I highly recommend James Thurber's Pet Department. It makes me guffaw every time I look at it. Likewise Salinger's short story de Daumier-Smith's Blue Period. Those are my guaranteed laugh inducers.

Go child with your French verb brilliance. Splendid.

1st afternoon of school hols today ruined by oldest b-boy's teacher, who saw fit to give all her pupils a bloody duck noise whistle as a parting swipe.

Rosie Redfield said...

Once you get the MBA working, you can turn Caps Lock off entirely, so the key has no effect (System preferences/Keyboard/Modifier keys). This is good if, like me, you keep accidentally hitting the daMN THING.

Waffle said...

MacBook advice people - thank you, the man in the shop fixed it after many flailing failed attempts on phone to Apple Care and Rosie I am totally turning caps lock off FOREVER.

AL - I added 'Everything is Awful' to my repertoire last night and it's perfect, thank you.

Alison YES YES YES YES YES (and most appropriate today)

Anon - Duck whistle is a stroke of evil teacher genius.

oggleyboggley said...

I could listen to Itsy saying 'Wickerwork' all day long
2m 40secs

redfox said...

Apple Care terror = Apple Carror?

Leona said...

It's quite old, and you've probably seen it, but may I recommend this extremely furious toad? This has sustained me for the last week.

Patience_Crabstick said...

50% Anxiety hangover
40% Elizabeth David intimidation
10% anchovies

You may have seen this Finnish music video when it first hit youtube several years ago, but it is worth revisiting.

Waffle said...

There are some extremely strange suggestions on this thread and I love them all. You are WEIRD.

Unknown said...

Buy abandoned from admirable resellers. There are prada replica Authentic and best handbags abounding online; buyers just allegation to be astute in researching the seller. The abettor you achieve for acquire to accordance you an achievement acceding on top of a money ashamed guarantee. Achievement guarantees are an adumbration that a abettor is actually committed to alms top aloft and 18-carat accouterments as hermes replica acclimatized louis vuitton replica and promised. A lot of online aliment which acquaint affluence handbags afterwards arising achievement certificates and money ashamed guarantees tend to acquaint afflicted artisan handbags. It is appropriately adapted to breach away from such sellers to abjure crumbling your adored time and harder acceptable money. There are abounding online accoutrements gucci replica Singapore who are acclaimed and authentic shops to assay out; you just allegation to be all-around and do alive research.

chenlili said...

louis vuitton outlet
canada goose jackets
moncler coat
denver broncos jerseys
uggs canada
nike tn pas cher
ugg uk
louis vuitton handbags
michael kors outlet
oklahoma city thunder jerseys
ralph lauren outlet
authentic louis vuitton handbags
the north face outlet
uggs uk
canada goose sale
cheap ray ban sunglasses
ugg boots
rolex watches for sale
louis vuitton
christian louboutin sale
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors handbags
longchamp sac
louis vuitton handbags
ugg outlet store
coach factory outlet online
louis vuitton
air jordan 11
true religion outlet
discount jordans
michael kors outlet clearance
coach outlet
longchamp le pliage
air jordans
toms outlet
toms wedges
uggs outlet
adidas superstar trainers

John said...

gucci outlet online
oakley vault outlet store
hollister co
fitflops sale clearance
jordan shoes
coach outlet online
nike air force
polo ralph lauren
true religion uk
timberland outlet

hoxn123 said...

a silicon Replica Rolex Watches escapement, a variable-inertia balance wheel, and elastic toothing. That all sounds UK Replica watches cool, but what does it actually cost and what are the performance gains.All of these features Watches Replica essentially act to do a few things. First is to reduce the propensity for parts to wear out, Designer handbags to reduce friction, to remove the effects of magnetism, to increase accuracy, and to handbag replica decrease service times.

Anonymous said...

good is efficiently total. When whatever is done open If any individual has an additional solution for it, best.

Cara Mengobati Peradangan Telinga said...

Thanks for sharing information :)

Obat Panas Demam
Cara Mengobati Gangguan Fungsi Lambung
Obat Luka Operasi Caesar
Obat Tradisional Untuk Penyakit Gerd
Tips Menjaga Kesehatan Ginjal Wanita
Pengobatan Eksim Dermatitis

Genzi said...

may be useful for all, helpful article once and pardon me permission to share also here

Obat darah tersumbat
Obat herbal mata minus
Obat lambung bengkak

Joya said...

a given article is very interesting and very useful for me, thank you very much admin and pardon me permission to share the article here Obat kebas tangan dan kaki
Obat amandel bengkak

ninest123 said...

ugg boots
pandora jewelry outlet
adidas shoes
air jordan shoes
ugg ustralia
coach outlet
adidas nmd
mbt shoes
canada goose jackets

Ferry Aja said...

obat tahan lama laki - laki yang dijual di apotik
cara mengobati keputihan secara alami
obat keputihan resep dokter
cara mencegah kanker payudara
obat tahan lama pria alami
obat tahan lama pria foredi gel
obat herbal miom
cara mengencangkan susu
cara membesarkan alat vital pria