Friday, 7 March 2014

Technically a fish

Well, that was a massively frustrating day, workwise, and I mean that in the sense that I was shit at it. At everything. On balance, I declare this week completely crap from a work perspective, but excellent from a food and sleep perspective. Well, not tonight's interesting leftover combo - breaded fish, limp cauliflower purchased circa mid January, some wilted ancient chinese greens and a dodgy avocado - which I accept with hindsight was not a winner. But I have been enraptured with the green weirdness I have cooked myself all week, and have not got up before quarter to eight ONCE. Frankly, this should count as an achievement, albeit an entirely passive one.

Percentages:
30% (feels like 150%) massive throbbing face aching cold sore.
30% chicken observation (of which 5% unnerved, 10% delighted, 15% watching 'how to catch chickens' videos - Texan man with a "chicken leg hook", respectfully, it is my contention that you are overcomplicating things)
20% being a dickhead.
10% old vegetables.
8% Aromatherapy Associates bath oil induced euphoria.
2% Lindt chocolate squares.

Down: 

Throbbing head.

Dodgy dinner.

Dog has scratched up nice chair in a fit of chicken jealousy.

Had to drive wrong way down a one way street just at the moment that several cars sought to go down it the right way.

Suppurating burn on hand.

Kindle lead has disappeared.

Earned about 75 quid this week, wrote about 6000 words, lost any sense of what the fuck I was writing them for.

Up:

Boys back tomorrow.

This mindblowing set of pictures featuring the already famous Cheesecake the capybara, but now also featuring CROUTON THE TORTOISE and a range of other amazing things. Which one is your favourite? IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO CHOOSE (the watermelon).

M: That capybara has been hogging the bath for HOURS.
E: The dogs are all tutting. Capybara is all "are any of you assholes semi-aquatic? No? Then get out of my sight, punks."
M: I'm technically a fish.
E: So... fuck you very much.

Chickens not as hard to catch as the Internet would have you believe.

Chicken laid EGG (even though this is bonus egg incubated elsewhere, it is still proof of chickens' vast superiority as pets. No other bugger in this house has ever done anything half as useful).

Got invited to do a sourdough class for free. Next level bobo ninja skills await.

M has taught me something clever and technical (for me) AND IT IS NOW WORKING, M!

Actually, when you write it all down, that doesn't sound such a shit day after all. Which is quite the high to end the week on. Hurrah!

A picture:



Hens on mission of destruction. As you can see, the garden already looks like shit, so it's not as if they can do much (additional) harm.

And you? Ups, downs, percentages?

7 comments:

Ellie said...

"Texas Prepper" didn't really have the best of luck with his chicken the second time, I was pleased to see. He had to chase it just like "city folk" would have. (As a Texan I have about had my fill of down-home elitism, and I also live in a city where basically everybody owns chickens SO THERE). The capybara etc photos are beyond belief.

30% wafting anxiety, 50% festival-based rage (my city has temporarily doubled in size overnight and nowhere is safe from them all), 12% clogged kitchen drain, 2% Lenten deprivation, 0% bourbon, 6% Gerald Durrell.

GingerB said...

20% bafflement at how my parenting might stop my children from fighting

30% bad poetry

15% time spent inexplicably watching documentary on Tonya Harding

30% eating cheese in apparent attempt to pack on weight and render entire wardrobe obsolete

5% finding % key on my iPad

MargotLeadbetter said...

I've bought a new bra and it's perfect (fits, feels nice, AND looks ok), and I am BASKING in this one small achievement, which it has taken me about a year to achieve.

Patience_Crabstick said...

80% irritation with my husband and his motorcycle
10% worry over keeping our wild puppy quiet after surgery.
5% pleasure about my new couch cushions
5% Ghiradelli milk chocolate chips

Nimble said...

Chickens in action! That is good to see. And an egg already, you could keep a list of their laying to decide which is the most profitable (least indigent) chicken.

Anonymous said...

Cheesecake and Crouton went a long way in cheering up my grumpy work colleagues at 4.10pm on a Friday afternoon, so thanks for that :)

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