Thursday, 19 December 2013

Advent 19

Pro tip: do not check your bank balance on the 19th of December when you have huge bills to pay and have only bought half your Christmas presents. Coal all round!

Other pro tip: remember where you have parked the car when you abandon it in despair due to terrible traffic and lateness, or face a heart-stopping five minutes when you think it's been towed from a diplomatic parking spot.

Those are all the tips I have. Today was my OH SHIT HELL FUCK IT CANNOT BE THE NINETEENTH day, with a soundtrack of rhythmic tooth grinding, hyperventilation and muttered obscenities. Outstanding work mountain, plus school Christmas fair (three line whip for carol concert element plus a thorough rinsing of the parental pockets at the "craft" market) coinciding with my monthly editorial meeting AND a European summit fucking with the traffic makes for a day of fun and high jinks and occasionally shrieking "I HATE EVERYONE", in a puny, still hoarse voice.

Anyway. Nicer things.

1. The calendar:


Poppy seeds on a card. Nice. I'm cool with that. I mean, they'll never grow in our swamp, but it's a lovely idea.

2. Etsy - this is a bit of a cheat, I think, since it's half of another door:



3. Such a great riding lesson. FLYING CHANGES. Whee!

4. As one of F's presents, I have sponsored a slow loris.



This is Cepat, the loris. Oh dear, but he looks sad, poor thing. I hope his life is nicer now. Apparently he has the prospect of intensive dental work in front of him, which explains a lot. I also look like that when I have intensive dental work in my near future.

I am going to watch Christmas Educating Yorkshire now. Possibly with a slice of Viennetta the size of my head.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

De-lurking to say, WE LOVE YOU WAFFLE! A new post from you is always such a treat. Very happy holidays to you and your family, keep treating us!

Esme Weatherwax said...

Flying changes?! Flying changes??!! (I exclaim this in the same tone as Peter Kay's "garlic bread" set piece) Is this the same timorous wee novice who was tentatively popping cavalettis not so long ago? Bugger the bloody bank balance if you're spending money this wisely. X

Justine said...

I'm with Anonymous - we love you waffle!!! So enjoying your unique, and dare I say, very real lead up to Christmas.... I myself spent today passing off some bakery bought cookies as my own work at my daughters Christmas carol concert. I think it worked too!

cruella said...

Justine, it's all in the liberal dusting of icing sugar!

Nicky said...

I read that lots of people are sprinkling poppy seeds in public places so that next year, the centenary of the start of the first world war, everywhere will have a liberal covering of poppies. Lovely idea, I thought.

Xtreme English said...

i thought you are supposed to EAT poppy seeds. Are there two kinds?? eat and plant??

Margaret said...

Or you could start your own heroin crop! I do miss Breaking Bad...

Lirong said...

Thank you for all your advent posts, I love all your writing. I wanted to wish you Happy Christmas & New Year, and am already looking forward to reading you in 2014! Also I'd thought you might like to know that 'Cepat' is the Malay word for 'Fast', as in 'quickly'! Much love xxx

Waffle said...

Anon, LIrong, Justine - Oh, you are so lovely, I am sorry for delay in replying. Happy holidays to you all xxxx