Monday, 18 November 2013
Stuff I saw in New York
(Hello. Sorry. This is like that "I went to market game", in my head. )
I went to New York (I am thirty nine next week and this was my very first time in AMERICA) and I saw:
- My virtual friend F for realz, and she was beautiful and kind and wickedly funny, entirely as I expected and we did not get shot at Bryant Park ice rink where there was a coat related shooting incident, but it was quite a close thing. (It wasn't really, but I like to imagine it was and am dining out on it)
F: I'm very glad I didn't take you there. You would have started a turf war.
E: I might have inadvertently complimented someone's coat.
F: THINGS WOULD NOT BE BACK TO NORMAL SO QUICKLY.
- Two live rats and one dead rat.
- Loads of Greek phalluses.
- A tiny Etruscan owl on a delicate cup.
- And a real eagle owl glaring out over the Central Park Zoo railings.
- An outsized chocolate turkey (this features in two out of only about 8 photographs I took):
- Lots of dogs in shoes, none looking at all happy about the shoe wearing.
- Adam Sandler and his family having sushi two yards away from us.
- The 8am queue for cronuts outside Dominique Anstel bakery (approximately 80 strong, features in another 2 of my 8 photos).
- The man in the East Village who wears his cat, Nicholas, on his head and stops for photos.
- The cumbersome, slow, impressive erection of the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.
- A German bishop's skull in a heavily gilded box.
- This sign at our hippy residence:
"we humbly and kindly ask AND REQUIRE"
- The Diana Ross Memorial Playground
- A letter in Thomas Cromwell's actual handwriting.
- And, taking off to go back to Belgium, the most stop-your-heart incredible view of the city at dusk, a view wonderful enough to force me to take a break from my stomach churning, sweaty certainty of imminent airborne death, to remove the scratchy orange blanket from over my head and say "wow, that's beautiful", and it takes a lot to distract me from the certainty of imminent airborne death.
So that was all lovely, and now I am back and there is rat mortality, bad skin, bad knees and overdue work. I have hidden a pile of ominous envelopes in a box and lost the box and tonight I need to explain facial contouring in French. Despite all this, I promise to update my weblog again soon.
What have you been up to?