Thursday, 21 November 2013

Classy twine


F is still watching sodding gyroscope videos. I think his new strategy is to bore me into getting one to shut him up.

I have spent the last half hour trying to coax the sick rat to eat whilst the healthy rat takes full advantage to crawl all over me and shit under the curtains and escape. I think L is finding the reality of imminent demise too much to handle so most of the rat-coaxing duties fall to me (the rat has an inoperable tumour and the vet has sent it home to live out its remaining comfortable days in a familiar environment. "Make a fuss of him", said the vet, but of course, this is the Jean-Paul Sartre of rats, who cordially loathes all human company. All I can really do is offer him delicious and easy to eat foods and leave him in peace in his stinky house).

(Gah, been interrupted by reappearance of weeping L again. He is taking this so so hard, poor thing. Many nights of rat tears) .

Wore Spanx today in the hope they might improve my posture, but I just have Constricted Waist Rage.

I am supposed to be at the rehearsal for the Cadre Noir de Saumur tonight and I'm not (combination of childcare gnarl-up and not actually having anywhere to write about it). Je suis gutted. *Piaffes, desolately, jumps over a heavily laden banqueting table to the accompaniment of Verdi*

I think I might have bought another advent calendar in a fugue state yesterday night.


THIS. THISTHISTHIS. Seriously, click the link and admire, whilst, regular readers, also remembering that I did this first, sort of, with shitty, slapdash, felt execution. "The spider" says M "Is a real spider pretending to be a tortoise in a spider cosy". Which is an alarming thought.

Jumping today on the lovely Gecko, which was exhilarating and terrifying and wonderful. It takes a bit of bravery and some deep breathing and then afterwards I feel superhuman for twenty minutes, which is incredibly rare for me.

Enjoyable guide to the mysteries of Williams Sonoma, via mr Cookblog, who I also saw in New York and a great deal of fun (and food) was had by all, except possibly by the crabs slaughtered in our honour.

Going to London in December, briefly, for pre-Christmas thrills.


I didn't take any pictures today, so you'll have to have one of our holidays. One day, perhaps, I will tell you the epic tale of our trip to Petra, but for the moment, suffice to say that this is After the Donkey Blues but before The Puppy Related Weeping and the Plush Camel of Negotiating Sorrow (we had a lovely, lovely time, but that day was quite something, that and the Contact Lens Incident, also a story for another time). I love how we are all ignoring the majesty of Petra here. Whatever, ancient Nabataean Monastery. L has pre-teen sulking to do and I need to faff at my child's face. You can't take us anywhere.


Stacy said...

Oh, God, the memories of working in the buying office of WS in the food department. I too was astounded that the Trappist fruitcakes were a big deal. But so they were (and apparently continue to be as I long ago left that mess of a company). Good times...thanks for the link. It makes me realize I am still thankful for giving up a real salary to go to grad school and dubious job prospects.

Taxmom said...

Oh my, I just had to read your bit about the "Jean-Paul Sartre of rats" to my 15 year old son, tender-hearted animal lover that he is, because he is also the kind of alienated intellectual that only a 15 yr old with a smattering of French can be. And the WS catalog? One year I got WS dinosaur muffin tins for xmas. They weighed about 15 lbs apiece, and came covered in teflon that came off on the Stegosaurus during baking.

Betty M said...

Thank you for cookblog. Snorting toast all over the breakfast table. "Rimming sugar"? Really?!

frau antje said...

F can put the gyroscope on the motorcycle he built with ProgRock, and end up with this (gyroscopes referred to at 1:20, also "you need a baby elephant to tip it over"--so now that it involves baby animals, perhaps you'll reconsider...of course they don't show things bashing into it, and how it remains vertical nonetheless, which is naturally the fun part).

Patience_Crabstick said...

OMG, the book in your sidebar. I had no idea there was a fifth book in the Cazalet Chronicles.

Waffle said...

Patience - It's just come out this month! Also, aged 90, she's said that she doesn't rule out doing another one. I LOVE HER.

S said...

Had such a good larf reading this post! And my god, my life was incomplete before I read this WS catalogue blog - utterly hilarious x

L. said...

Constricted Waist Rage. SO THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED.

(I am a frequent sufferer.)

breakfastlady said...

The WS blog is great. I see the Americans are still in a state of blissful ignorance regarding Christmas crackers. One of the unintended consequences of 9/11 and not being allowed to take crackers on planes any more is a slump in the export market of v poor jokes and plastic screwdrivers from the UK (made in china).

Waffle said...

breakfastlady - Very much THEIR LOSS.

Anonymous said...

'Wore Spanx today in the hope they might improve my posture, but I just have Constricted Waist Rage.'

Thanks for the laugh - that's such a wonderful description!


Quinn said...

Wants a gyroscope huh? They can be pretty interesting.

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