Thursday, 10 October 2013

Nutritionally deficient

Very late, but I mustn't fail twice in one week, that would be a grave dereliction of (entirely self-imposed and pointless) duty.


I have eaten too much tiramisu (following an appalling lunch of "a palmier and some chips") and my stomach is gurgling like the dog's (the ominously gurgling dog is banished to sleep in the corridor, I am not having a repeat of Wednesday's performance).

I found a long, sticky skein of green chewing gum waiting for me in bed last night. God knows where it came from (oh hang on, I'm going to hazard a wild guess: A CHILD). I was too tired to even think about it so I covered it up with a spare pillow case and went to sleep. This evening I noticed that is has all transferred to my leg, so that's nice.



I've just found out our babysitter is now a fully qualified neuropsychologist, which means:

(i) She has more qualifications than me; and

(ii) Soon she will get a job and I'll never be able to leave the house again.


I went to an opening and drank free champagne and admired the outfits (strong look, elderly blue snakeskin cowboy boots guy) tonight, which is why I'm late and remiss. It was fun. There were macarons and small chocolate squares and lots of people I half recognised from various places and could vaguely nod at.

Riding day. I rode a new horse called Nekao (?) and it was a fucking nightmare, but in a sort of good (hard) way. I was terrible. By tomorrow morning I'll be walking like a 1950s theatrical interpretation of Richard III.


This afternoon I also had to go and test the new World First Belgian Automatic Chip Dispenser (for the princely sum of £40 for write-up plus photo) in the freezing drizzle. It is eccentrically sited in a supermarket car park in a very rough part of town and you can see, it will win no beauty prizes. I only had ten and twenty cent coins and the whole thing was quite mad and took ages, and the machine's wrangler stood and observed my progress (contorting myself to try and get a vaguely aesthetically pleasing picture, at times on my knees, to the amusement of the passing tough eggs of Molenbeek) silently throughout and I had lots of time to wonder how on earth my life came to this.

Anyway, here are the resplendent ROBOT FRITES:

They were ok, I suppose, but €2,50 is quite dear for not many frites in a supermarket car park in Molenbeek.

You may wonder what Samourai Sauce is, but I can only tell you that I have no idea, as I find the thought of any sauce at all utterly repellent. I was forced to put mayonnaise on here for photographic purposes but I renounce sauce and all of its works.

On this bombshell I must leave you to continue gestating this horrifying tiramisu baby.


B said...

Samurai sauce! Yum. (Those frites don't look half bad, actually. A lot better, I have to say, than the chips we get in pubs here.)

Anonymous said...

Having read 'Tall man in a Low Land' by that Pearson bloke, he says samurai sauce is hot and chilli like. I like Belgian frite as much as the next woman but I think mayo and/or samurai sauce is taking it too far so have never tried in..(where I come from they do fat English chips with curry sauce or gravy.. doesn't bear thinking about really...

Blonde said...

I am now bemoaning the UK's lack of interesting vending machine contents.

Waffle said...

Blonde - There was one in York that sold live bait. I'm not sure that counts though.

Unknown said...

Love, love, love mayonaise on my chips. It is probably a genetic thng as I am Dutch. Wouldn't want to get them from a vending machine though. I much prfer a hole in the wall where you can only communicate with a hairy greasy forearm...

Faye said...

I think I saw Horrifying Tiramisu Baby in concert once! I think it was in Japan.

Hexen und Schnecken said...

Blogging duty may be self-imposed, but isn't pointless at all: very much looking forward to your daily posts!

Patience_Crabstick said...

An automatic fries dispenser, and it's not even American? My people are slacking. I think I am going to see if we can get one of these in the break room at my office.

Accidental Londoner said...

Eurgh, your auto-frites machine is causing me huge chip envy! Why do they not adorn the least salubrious carparks of the UK too?!

Unknown said...

This is great do you have a catologue if so I would love one to share with friends and family.
South Africa T20 World Cup 2016 Team Squad Players List
Pakistan Team Jersey

Unknown said...

Your blog was too good. i really appreciate with your blog.Thanks for sharing.
Pakistan Team Squad Players T20 WC 2016
Australia Logo ICC T20 WC 16

Vanwingerden Urick said...

Notwithstanding, before you choose to chance your auto utilizing automobile title credits, read these tips first. You could stay away from some possibly exorbitant missteps on the off chance that you comprehend what to look out for. online auto title loans chicago

Carruth Vallecillo said...

Lamentably, in the event that you are not watchful, you can resemble a ton of the borrowers who end up getting restricted into a consistent obtaining cycle.
personal payday loans chicago

Alex daina said...

Generally most payday advance organizations charge around $20 to $30 per $100 of loan. To guarantee that there are no ambiguities, demand that your last payday credit sum is explained in dollars and pennies. This will enable you to realize what you have to pay, when your payday credit is expected.