Sunday, 8 September 2013

My Good Mother


- Every biting insect in Belgium is currently living in the house, gorging themselves on us, La Grande Bouffe style. Fuckers. Both of F's feet are more weal than foot, and I am scratching like a rabid and undiginified dog. In a week or so presumably the spiders will move in with their many eyes and legs to wander across my face as I sleep. As long as they eat all the bitey things first, I am totally fine with that.

- We still haven't cleaned the rats' cage yet. As chores go, this is even worse than the sofa cover (still not done). I am tired of the sound of my own voice nagging L to get started, so I have stopped. I'm not sure what my next move is in this particular parental tussle: I mean, can you confiscate rats? Would this in any way further my interests (no)?


- I have derived near endless amusement from requiring F to sing me his new Chinese song, many times. It goes as follows:

My good mother
Returns home after work
Oh, how exhausting after a day of work
Mother, mother, quickly sit
Mother mother, quickly sit
Please have a cup of tea
Let me kiss you
Let me kiss you
My good mother

I cannot think of another song to whose sentiments I ascribe so wholeheartedly (though I have a fondness for the title of Prog Rock's oft quoted favourite "I feel like I'm fixin' to die" by Country Joe and the Fish. Whoopee, we're all going to die!). I have been accompanying him on the piano in a rousing version of it. He has now run away from me, which means I no longer have to play Uno or even worse, the dull French motoring board game "Mille Bornes" (a.k.a "mille reasons to fall out with your family").


Here is the tune to Excellent Mother Song, so you can also sing along to your mothers, or require your children to sing ceremonially to you, or if you have neither a child or a mother, you can perhaps change "mother" to an animal of your choice (I will provide you with the appropriate pinyin unless you choose something really difficult like a capybara or a naked mole rat, nb. 'koala' and 'cola' are very similar and I may get it wrong).

Now I am going to watch the preposterous but entertaining 'Luther', which I purchased on DVD just before Netflix started streaming it, chiz.


cruella said...

Now this is particularly fine since I a) live in China now, b) have just bought a piano and c) this weekend stumbled upon a performance were young kids sang traditional songs in that peculiar strident, wailing way they have. Shall set about it promptly.

Bytowner said...

Too bad about the biting insects, do you know what they are?
Mille Bornes still exists?! We used to play that game on summer days when there was nothing else to do, 35 years ago. And it was boring then too.
I am thoroughly enjoying the daily posts. If only financial rewards were based on excellentness of your blog, you would have no worries.

Happydog said...

Highly reccommend Luther. The Husband and I watched 10 episodes all at once over 2 days. Love how these BBC dramas are written. Much more sophisticated then US drama.

Unknown said...

I love Luther and have loved Idris Elba since The Wire. There are rumours Alice might get her own series...

Waffle said...

Cruella! I keep gasping at your comments about your move to China, and then forgetting to comment, I am sorry. How is it going?

Bytowner - Yes, sadly. It is irredeemably terrible.

Anonymous said...

Netflix? In Belgium? Is that possible?

Waffle said...

Anon - *taps nose*. Yes. Sort of.

kath said...

Idris Elba's parents live quite near me. I keep hoping to see him in Co-op but it hasn't happened yet.

Am watching Luther with 8yo. Very very bad mother.

Helen said...

Ok first off, I in no way require you to tell me how you acquired Netflix in Belgium. At all. No way. (Plz.)

'More weal than foot' HA.

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