Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Help mee

The clip called "man met rat" here (click on that title to the right of the screen), is two minutes of the most universal 'male tries to placate moody pregnant/roosting female' scenario imaginable. How I laughed. Please watch it. 1m52 of realising that owls are JUST LIKE US (with a bit more dismemberment).

Male arrives, proudly, brandishing limp offering.

"I brought you a rat!"

Silence. Passive aggressive feather grooming.

"Look, it's really fresh"

"I don't want a fucking rat"

"Come on, it'll do you good. You know you love rats".

"Oh my god. It's like you don't know me at all".

"Shall I just put it down over here for when you feel like it?"

"No"

Male dangles rat enticingly in front of female's averted beak, and wheedles. "Mmmmmm, rat".

"UGH. Can you take that thing out of here? The smell is making me sick".

Male, deflated, sort of hangs around, goes out of the room, comes back in, hangs around again, uncertainly.  Female continues silent passive aggressive feather grooming.

"Are you sure? Come on"

"JUST FUCK OFF AND TAKE THE FUCKING RAT WITH YOU, ALRIGHT?"

"FINE. You can be a right mardy cow you know".

Male flies away, with rat.

I'd like to imagine there's a coda to this clip several hours later, where the female turns to the male and says, in all innocence "is there any of that rat left?"

Yes, we have entered this phase of the year:


Help meeeeee.

7 comments:

Jonathan Lethbridge said...

Splendid, you are quite right. More please.
PS I know it does not involve internet, and might be cold and a bit miserable, but have you ever thought of going outside to look at birds, or are webcams sufficient/in fact much better?! I only ask as clearly you A) are a closet birder and B) have a loooot of down time!

Waffle said...

Ha, Jonathan, indeed. I have some of these actual live "birds" in the garden, I have noticed. There are:

1. Pigeons

2. Things that after lengthy struggle I have identified as long-tailed tits.

3. Giant angry crows

4. A jay.

5. Other small brown birds, various.

Clearly you are right, the next step would be to go out looking to see more of these "birds". I am not sure I am ready for that though.

Peter said...

Apropos, a bird feeder (installed such that squirrels can't get to it) will dramatically increase the variety and quantity of the birds in your back yard/garden/walled-in dog privy. Kids actually enjoy replenishing the seeds, so you don't have to do it.

Laurel said...

Hee, help mee indeed. I love your annotation for this video clip. It seems very on target.

I just happened to come across Boggle the Owl and although I initially hoped for real owls rather than a cartoon one, I guess they would not be as soothing and reassuring (as evidenced by your video). It's sort of like the owl version of Stuart Smalley and cheered me up after a day of feeling totally incompetent. I thought you might like it.
http://boggletheowl.tumblr.com/

Michelloui | The American Resident said...

LMAO!! This is perfect smile inducing reading for my morning.


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