Saturday, 12 January 2013

Educational Outings for Disobedient Children

Have naughty children? Wish to instill in them a lifetime of primal dread?

Take them to the MUSEUM OF CARNIVALS AND MASKS in Binche.

First you must get there.


The road is long, and filled with ghostly vistas of industrial decline and urban decay. There is also some really shit graffiti, glimpsed across misty deserted station platforms.



Do not fear, because you are going to need ALL THE FEAR IN THE WORLD when you get there.

You have arrived! The grotesque figure of the Gilles de Binche greets you, ostrich feather headdress glinting in the weak winter sunshine. He looks almost jolly, doesn't he?





No. No he doesn't. The Gilles is as creepy as all hell. See his creepy twig switch and his expressionless wax mask! Recoil, recoil!


Of course, the Gilles is merely the warm up act for a smorgasbord of nightmarish primitive terrors from across Europe.

Thrill as you find yourself in an empty, echoing corridor filled with your hitherto nameless fears!



Explore, fearfully, the chilling folklore of Mitteleurop!




Marvel at the ingenious use of animal pelts to create a nightmarish atmosphere of primal terror!



Feel a stirring of some unfamiliar emotion as you recognise the creature who has come to STEAL YOUR SOUL.


Then run. Run as fast as you can. And never turn off the lights again. Because this guy will be sitting under your bed for all eternity.


Yes, I had a lovely time in Binche.

21 comments:

vivien y said...

Coo er, what a lovely outing!

Dara said...

That is awesomely horrifying. I am completely scared for life having seen that!!

Margaret said...

Yikes. Olde Europe truly is terrifying. Thanks for getting us out, nameless ancestors!

Macy said...

I get the feeling you've arranged for more free tickets from the Binche Tourist Board on the back of this puff piece.

Patience_Crabstick said...

Yikes! And I bet your kids loved it!

Xtreme English said...

Good God....What is the world coming to? Everywhere you look, you see creepy stuff like this. And yes, no doubt the kids loved it. Or said they do. Brr....

Waffle said...

Actually Patience/Xtreme, I was ALL ALONE, I spared my children this particular joy. But there were three classes of infants being shown round the museum in terrifying detail. "And when the Gilles go round town in their wax masks, all the bars provide them with drinking straws to drink their beer" one motherly lady was explaining.

Xtreme English said...

Belgium is its own special place, n'est-ce pas??

LĂ©onie said...

Wow, I am coming to Belgium soon, I will put that high up on my list.

Helen said...

Ahem. Yes. Lovely. So creatively decorated and obviously such fun for all the family!

(Ohgodohgodohgoddontleavemealonewiththem.)

Scunder said...

OMFG

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