This makes it look sort of romantic, which is entirely inaccurate.
This is a bit more like it.
I have two of them, because I liked it so much.
I especially liked the "Attractions Modernes" cabin.
Also, I am reminded looking at these pictures of our holidays, how much I am missing the cheeldrenne, who return tomorrow after an extended absence doing le camping, chiz. Rather them than me. I saw the campsite. It has hole in the ground loos and strutting men who walk around in extremely short shorts and do pull ups on door frames. They, predictably, have loved every minute. Apparently they spend their days with a gang of like-minded Mario and Pokémon enthusiasts riding their bikes round in circles and lurking on the playground, practising looking as if they are filled with ennui. It sounds like perfect preparation for adolescence.
I like on this picture how Lashes still has a phantom plump, babyish curve to his cheek. He doesn't really look like that any more, but I do still remember when he did.
Whereas Fingers doesn't normally look this big.
Who is that enormous leaping child? Apparently it is mine. I have heard very little from either of them in the last two weeks and telephone calls run to the monosyllabic. "Are you having a nice time?" "Yes". Fin. If pushed, they occasional come out with one of the following questions:
1. "Do the rats miss me?"
Answer: are you a dried banana? If the answer to that question is 'no', then no.
2. "What is your favourite reptile maman?"
Well, son, that depends on whether you are planning to bring it home in a bucket for me. If so, the mighty anaconda. Why are you asking?
3. "Did you watch Fort Boyard?"
In your absence, I have absolved myself of that particular pleasure, my darlings. There is a better class of person running around in Lycra on my television at the moment. Also: ENDLESS HORSES.
Enough of that, let us play "Market Maths".
If Emma smugly buys one melon for €1,50 nine mangoes for €3 and 6 avocados for €2 on Sunday:
And on Monday she is obliged to put two of the mangoes in the bin because they have gone completely black, observes that three are growing a crop of ominous, plague-like black spots whilst another 3 are hard as riven steel, and eats the only one that is ripe, whilst 5/6 avocadoes have turned to putrid black pulp what is the probability that Emma is an idiot? What percentage of the melon do you estimate will be edible based on your calculations?
For a bonus mark, how is your answer affected if she has also purchased two bunches of mint at €0,25 each and left them in a glass to go all crispy and dry, whilst allowing a bunch of coriander (€0,25) to go a bit slimy in the sink before using a few springs half heartedly in a stir fry? Show your working. Or not.
What fruit and vegetable bastards have no middle ground between adamantine and rotten for you? And what bargains just .. aren't?