However, it was moderately fun, in as much as my eyeballs and temples were in any state to have 'fun' and very relaxed. We made:
Tomato and mozzarella tarte tatins
Children's verdict: ok if you remove the tomatoes and the mozarella and just eat the denuded circle of puff pastry.
My verdict: Nice. But remind me, why are we having our lunch at eleven fifteen? This is just like when I used to work in that school for delinquents in Normandy and we had to go to the canteen before the children, at half eleven, every day. Stew and tongue and mashed potato, mid morning. What's that? I can have wine if I like? I am miraculously reconciled to this.
Smoked salmon, courgette and goat's cheese clafoutis
Children's verdict: An emphatic no.
My verdict: Also a no: too many ingredients, spookily bland. Making my gut contract as if in thrall to one of those 1990s Slendertone belts. Eggs: the kill or cure of hungover stomachs.
Meatballs with carrot and spring onion
Children's verdict: 'Trop bon'.
My verdict: Perfectly pleasant, but you know what would go really well with this? Nurofen.
Children's verdict: L rolled around in ecstasy and begged for spares, Fingers just sort of looked at it with blank disappointment.
My verdict: I would actually like to make this myself. Actually, I could imagine that it might be quite nice to rest my forehead in a cool vat of it.
The verdict: None of us have actually eaten this, because humanity can only stand so much egg based nourishment, but our houseguests said it was very nice.
I cannot pretend I learned many culinary skillz, because: oh hai, ready made supermarket puff pastry in a roll, I believe we've met, pretty much weekly, when I use you to wrap Herta Horses Hooves Frankenfurters and call them 'sausage rolls' while all of the North of England writhes in visceral disapproval. However since we were on meatball duty the children were allowed to take on tasks involving sharp knives AND heat, so I think they can now be declared fit and proper persons to prepare me a plate of tea and toast. Which is achievement enough for a Saturday morning.
Later, I must tell you about the climax of our 'Come Dine With Me' week, but if I try and describe any more food right now something terrible will happen and if I try and look at the necessary illustrative photos, something even more terrible will happen.