Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Cake, Pt 7465

I have made a fairly dreadful - and faintly alarming - cake. There were no giant jelly snakes in Belgium (perhaps St Gudule drove them out), so I couldn't do the "Snakes on a Cake" theme requested. Instead I had to make do with: 2 jelly caterpillars, 4 jelly rats and 3 jelly frogs. I'm calling it "Sewer".


The rats are sitting on brownie .. what? Silt? Let's not make it any worse than it has to be, eh.

(On some previous display of cake crime on these pages someone commented on the incongruous doily use so I feel it incumbent upon me to explain that this is actually a melanine doily, and part of the plate).

I haven't put the requested strawberries on the top yet, nor indeed, do I have the faintest idea WHERE to put them. A problem for tomorrow, that one. I have also made thirty fairly shoddy fairy cakes for school. Fingers sidled in and stared at them half an hour ago and said, disapprovingly

"Mais, tu sais étaler mieux que ça".

(you can ice better than that)

I sent him to bed.


This is all I have tonight. I am empty of everything but buttercream. I have been poured on, got stuck in the Colruyt doorway with three very garulous elderly ladies, had an extremely detailed and naturalistic dream about 'my' agent (we have not actually spoken for nearly a year, since I am too ashamed of the state of my non-novel and she is busy with actual clients who actually write books) telling me that my non-fiction project idea was shit, and earned about fourteen pence writing about hotels. The television is offering me the French presidential candidates debate or 'Blood Diamond'. I am very ready for a day of rat wrangling and having a TEN YEAR OLD, holy mother of Pokemon.

How was your Wednesday?

13 comments:

Lindsey said...

If it is remotely cheering, I have a bag of peanut butter chunky Kit Kats for you...

Waffle said...

REMOTELY? That's, like, about the most cheering thing I can even imagine. Weeee!

Emily said...

so that's what you meant by a jelly snake. now I know. and may I just say, YIKES.

@feathertaylor said...

I have to make a birthday cake for my eight year old tomorrow, I was looking for sweets to put on it and we do have giant jelly snakes, but I'm guessing Morrisons in middle England would have been a bit far for you!

Marie said...

Hi Waffle,

Apart from a ill child moaning around on the settee making me wish it was his dad instead (to give a picture of complaint level, and given the fact that I didn't have to bake a birthday cake, my day was kind of good,snake free and productive,thank you ;) ps :congrats on the cake,very impressive

Vic from Brighton said...

My day was shite, sorry to be blunt. I have 3 very loud and lively boys and it has not stopped raining (well in England that is) since prob mid March. I do believe it is now MAY and am still waiting for sunshine and summer. Am at wits end, have total cabin fever and think a SAD lamp may be only solution.
How many more 'camps' can be made out of all my sofa cushions, throws and duvets? How much more can I take? Well thats my day and general mood, sorry. Glug glug wine!!
Your cake is fab, I have a four year old birthday coming up and need to fashion a classic (NOT modern) Mini Cooper or a field with baby lambs and a classic purple Mini in the back ground cake! I feel I must at least try, if all fails will copy yours!

Anonymous said...

Cake is fabulous! The kids should be grateful I reckon.
Vic from Brighton - I suggest the field with lambs option much easier - toss coconut in green food dye to make grass, and buy the little lambs and car (from modelling speciality shop for authenticity). The more bought bits and less moulding in fondant the better! Waffle has the right idea!
Heather (NZ)

mountainear said...

Cake is indeed fabulous. Would rather like one myself. Also quite covet the melamine-doily plate. V. ladylike in a sort of ironic sense.

My Wednesday since you asked is cold, wet and involved a lawnmower.

75 gallon aquarium said...

I'm new here. Hello everyone! I'm a huge fan and glad I found this blog!

Nimble said...

Baking to deadline is a fun game until it is an exhausting ordeal. Happy 10! I know he will appreciate having cupcakes to distribute. I might have threatened to cut off the cake supply if my icing had been criticized.

Xtreme English said...

Congrats on the nightmarish cake! I'm sure it'll be a huge hit among the little boys. Loved your dad's texts. What a good idea to save them.

Wee Birdy said...

Hurrah for the sewer cake! That would have blown my tiny little mind when I was 10-years-old.

p.s. when are we going to see the rat/s?xx

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