TF1 news tonight was, incidentally, basically the following:
"the weather has got slightly warmer and some people are sitting outside"
"the presidential candidates have consumed some local charcuterie in a variety of regions"
"there is a carnival somewhere, look at the bright colours!"
This is the tried and tested format for the one o'clock news, usually (Jean-Pierre Pernaud, the avuncular, incredibly right wing presenter is famous for trying always to start the news with the weather and saying that if you want news about Africa, you should watch African channels), but it must have been a particularly slow news day. I turned off before the inevitable report on some obscure - and one can only hope soon moribund - form of artisanat.
The tableau of shame:
Liquids: Pretty poor. One rooibos, a tea and a coffee. However the mere fact of writing this down has ensured that I will go and make myself another sodding herbal tea.
Vegetables: Reasonable. Salad. Avocado. Cucumber. Peas. Spring onions. Mustard. Yes, mustard is a vegetable.
Fruit: I am still not winning with the fruit. Watery strawberries from some environment-wrecking Spanish greenhouse.
Ranting: Dear Belgium, Speculoos is not an ingredient in tiramisu. Other places I do not want to find speculoos: in cheesecake, with pâté, on my toast, anywhere except IN A PACKET MARKED 'SPECULOOS', so I can adequately avoid them. Make this madness stop. Kind regards, Emma.
'Styleblog' shenanigans (no, not really): I LOVE these stamps the day release nutters at the post office sold me:
It is my understanding that for the cover price of this attractive, limited edition book of stamps, you get to choose which of these mythological creatures delivers your mail. It is plainly delivered by beast of mythology since it never fecking gets to any real place in the physical world, and I like the candour of this Belgian administrative acknowledgement of the fact. I can't decide which is my favourite, I mean, a unicorn, especially an emo one like this, is hard to beat but CHECK OUT THE WEREWOLF:
I like an existential howl of despair from a blighted, freakish beast of nightmare to accompany my first class mail.
How do I look? Give me another few days and I reckon I might merit a stamp of my own. A full week of daily posting, and I look worse than I did at the start. There must be a moral there somewhere.