Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Plugging force

My rationale for continuing with this tedious catalogue of my 'health kick', is that when I am procrastinating (so: always), I will read almost anything, and I imagine some of you may be the same. None of that 'only write when you have something to say' nonsense round here. I did enjoy our debate yesterday about whether rhubarb was a fruit, a vegetable 'a stalk', 'a herb' or 'a pie filling'. This is the kind of thing the internet is for.

So: I had yet another professional knockback yesterday but somehow it has not cast me into deep gloom, and I am wondering whether that is because of this:

There isn't one called 'Overcome Despair', so I went with 'De-Stress Mind' in my (HOT! Only €282, thank you mr heating engineer!) bath and what do you know, twenty minutes later I had already reached the 'pretend knockback never happened and move on with selective amnesia as your friend and constant companion' stage. Thank you, Aromatherapy Associates, that is some good shit you have there. (Seriously, these tiny oils are excellent, even if my newly philosophical state may not be solely attributable to them*).


Water consumption: minimal, but lunch was two bowls of Green Soup so I consider I have done my duty. Today I have made the ultimate effort of bringing a glass up to my office, we shall see what effect that has, I rather imagine none, unless I need a Nurofen Plus.

Also in my office, an apple:

(Oh, apple, you make it so hard for me to love you with your floury sourness).

This spray for Empresses (I'm sure it says that somewhere, oh, no, on checking it is for Hungarian queens, fine, whatever) which I find obscurely cheering.

Looking again at this, I am amused that the French and Italian name is "Beauty Water", where as the Germans are calling it the more prosaic "Face Water". Well, yes, Deutschland, you probably have a point but let me dream, jah?

It is sitting on my desk next to this:

I cannot see how that will pose a problem at ALL, can you?

How do I look? Grotesque, still. I decided to go for mineral powder this morning, which is the nuclear solution in cases of bad skin. Unfortunately, I had finally got round to washing my brushes (reminded by commenter Karen that it is possible to use a kettle to obtain hot water), look:

As a result, I was forced to use a Body Shop one circa 1988, which coated my whole face in long, pale bristles until I looked like one of those wolf children, but not as cute.

Right. I must go and do some work before my NIGHT IN A TREEHOUSE, OMFG. If you are hungry for more tales of my physical decline and decay - and really, who wouldn't be? - over on Facegoop, M is being made physically sick by the state of my fingerclaws.

*What really cheered me was

(i) Satan posing in this thoroughly undignified fashion. I think he may have become too fat to lie normally.

(ii) Remembering, in discussion with M, a particularly awful editing-English-written-by-foreigners job I had to do once on a brochure that contained the immortal phrase "Also, it is an advantage to have a low plugging force". No, me neither.

May the (low) plugging force be with you today.


tharsheblows said...

I love those Aromatherapy Associates oils - they are magic and work, although someone told me that it's all placebo effect. Like I would care - placebo me up, baby.

Love those face sprays too but have issues sometimes with the spray or maybe just terrible timing and aim.

You are doing well with the green soup. I drink loads of water and will drink enough for you if you eat the soup for me. Thanks.

frau antje said...

If the Germans know anything, it's Hungarians and queens.

MsCaroline said...

Your soup looks about as appetizing as the 'green smoothies' I've been drinking for the last few weeks. I'm fairly certain, though, that the smoothies are not nearly as good as that soup.

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes said...

Ah the Germans, what would we do without them and their myth-destroying accuracy.

Not Beehive said...

The only way I'll eat an apple is if I slice and bake it to make apple chips. Delicious with cinnamon, and none of that gagging dryness.

beagle, true-bred said...

What amuses me about the German on your Eau de Beauté is that they translated "Eclat du teint" with "Ausstrahlung" (= charisma). Which reminds me of the strip-club scene in one of the early 30Rock shows: "No, that's Charisma, over there!"

jojo said...

Ah Satan is happy! When rabbits sit like that, it means they are relaxed and in no immediate danger.

Simon said...

Lots more amusing translation/English written by foreigners errors here:

Waffle said...

Jojo - I am so glad to hear this is rabbit body language for happiness. His only danger is morbid obesity.

Fat Controller said...

I would think thst you could switch the two bottles on your desk with impunity. It's probably the same suff anyway.

A weak solution of isopropyl alcohol with a pinch of inorganic tensides does wonders for the complexion, and your specs will smell wonderful all day

Emily said...

Your green soup terrifies me, but other than that, I think you're quite lovely. Take heart, pretty lady!

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ghada said...

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ghada said...

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ghada said...

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بالطائف شفط بيارات
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رش مبيدات بالطائف
نقل عفش بخميس مشيط
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ghada said...

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