I liked the Non-Working Monkey's television reviews particularly (re. Julianna Margolies in The Good Wife: "She has won over 142 Emmys for her performance which remains exactly the same from episode to episode") and her list of things she is good and bad at. I would like to read other people's, I think. What are you good and bad at? Mine, after some thought, goes:
BAD AT:
1. Arguing
Poor grasp of logic, take things too personally, uncomfortable with all forms of conflict, even purely theoretical ones undertaken for "fun". It is not "fun" for me to have to argue about anything, even about which is better, a KitKat or a Twix (I DON'T KNOW. Whichever you prefer). It distresses me. Imagine for a second what a great lawyer I was.
2. Maths
Astonishingly bad. Get nine year old's homework wrong bad. This wouldn't be quite so shameful if my father didn't have a motherfucking theorem/equation/thingy named after him. I tried to go and look at it experimentally, but it fried my brain. God, he knows proper stuff, that is useful to the universe. I have slightly depressed myself.
3. Parking without panicking and crying and breaking wing mirrors.
4. Driving without panicking and crying and breaking wing mirrors.
5. Painting my nails.
6. Games. All of them. Ones with balls especially.
7. Complaining. See: arguing.
8. Thinking up meals. Ugh. Let's have fishfingers again.
9. Going to the Post Office even though it is actually fine and there is almost never a queue.
10. Accepting criticism.
11. Talking to strangers.
12. Using the telephone.
GOOD AT:
1. Reading aloud to children
2. Spelling
3. Touch typing
4. Compiling Christmas stockings
5. Meeting deadlines. I put this down to all those years of being shouted at by boggle eyed bankers to produce 9000 pages of pharmaceutical industry due diligence on time.
6. Writing work emails that sound considered, and thoughtful, when in fact they are written in 5 seconds while watching You Tube videos of sloths.
7. Maintaining steely indifference in the face of spiders/mice/rats/ferrets/snakes/earwigs/wormy things/pretty much anything living.
8. Maintaining a strong stomach in the face of dog or child effluvia of all kinds.
9. French.
10. Remembering shop or restaurant names and addresses.
11. Remembering the ridiculous ephemera the children are supposed to take to school on particular days. I am basically extremely cowed by all forms of authority and thrive on mindless deference to rules. This is not a good thing in the wider sense, but the remembering is, I suppose.
12. Drawing Pokémons to order. Want a Jigglypuff? Form an orderly queue.
What are you good and bad at? Please add yours in the comments.
20 comments:
Bad at (some duplicates from yours):
- Using the telephone. What is email FOR, for god's sake?
- Letting things be. Pickpickpickpick we go, until we've analysed from every conceivable angle and point of view.
- Being patient with elderly father. You have a BRAIN. I remember it well. Why can you not apply it to working out why your browser session has zoomed to 150%??
- Resistance to chips and other potato-based comestibles.
- Confrontation. You don't like me? Well, that's just fine. Let's never see each other again and leave it there.
- Pretending to be interested in most people's children's accomplishments, specifically where developmental milestones are concerned. He can poo, you say? Well, lovely. *boak*
- Defying authority of any kind. Parents, laws, teachers (even if not mine), superiors at work. Even struggle with book/TV reviews that tell me I WILL enjoy something.
Good at:
- Composing work emails that appear to be taking blame for something whilst subtly telling everyone copied that it's actually YOUR fault.
- Colour co-ordination. Having had your colours analysed by those style gurus helps, I must admit.
- Keeping in touch with friends.
- Listening.
- Cryptic crosswords, and other ephemera of early middle-age.
- Baking. Perhaps helps with the keeping friends thing.
Interesting how much easier it is to think of bad ones than good...
Hey, it's so good to have you back!
You forgot: "Making strangers laugh". (In the Good list, obv.)
Turns out I am v v bad at giving praise (or, more correctly, finding things to praise - mostly I just think "you are MEANT to do that, why should I praise it") and v good at rolling my eyes and muttering to myself. I make a good G&T tho which must count for something.
Bad at:
Meeting deadlines. Not that I don't fret and worry about it.
Sticking to advance plans specifically designed to make life less crowded and worrisome.
Math, and/or maths, whichever it is. I would do quite well in a primitive culture that counted like this: "One, two, many..."
Going to the bank, even to deposit money, because math(s) is (are) involved. Also, taxes.
Drawing anything at all. Even Jigglypuff.
Applying makeup/dressing in fashionable/tidy manner. Also, fixing hair.
Being mysterious and soft-spoken and aloof.
Yoga. Actually, all sports. Am wretchedly uncoordinated and spastic, especially when under pressure. My worst nightmare: having to keep score during a friendly game of pick-up volleyball. At the bank.
Good at:
Arguing. O, the eloquence I can muster. Whether or not I choose to deploy it is another thing entirely.
Parallel parking. I have no idea why. But I am astonishingly, unexpectedly good at it, and incredibly vain about my unearned talent. I can weasel into any spot on either side of the street, almost always in a single try. In any vehicle. Stick shift--pah!
Fucking. Or so I've been told.
Eating. Also, making appreciative noises and praising the chef.
Translating ancient Greek. I know! With that and my mad parking skillz, it's a wonder I don't rule the world.
Bad at:
--Keeping in touch with friends
--Entertaining said friends (it's a wonder I have any at all, really)
--Doing things I don't want to do (which is pretty much everything, so....)
--Braiding hair
--Retaining knowledge that does not concern celebrity trivia or song lyrics
--Housekeeping
--Time management
Good at:
--Panicking
--Cuddling babies
--Identifying vehicle makes and models (thanks to ever so slightly obsessed son)
--Procrastination
--Twittering
--Daydreaming
What are you good at? Being SUPER AWESOME, as they say in the Americas. God bless you, dear Waffle!
Yes, you are awesome at making strangers laugh via the interwebz.
Things I am bad at:
Moderation
Pretending to like people I don't care for
Parallel parking
Baking yeast breads
Thinking up captions for the New Yorker cartoon contest
Keeping a handbag the contents of which don't resemble a trash bin
Things I am good at:
Making friends with dogs and cats (and getting them to behave well)
Getting my baby son to fall asleep
Organizing household stuff. Our house is usually coated in filth, but it is tidy
Research. I can track down most anyone or anything you want to know about (I make my living at it)
Procrastination
Naming stuffed animals
I am a commercial negotiator, and pretty much argue for a living, and yet number 1 at the top of my "bad" list would be arguing... To this day I am not sure how I got there, other than possibly at the top of my "good" list would be bluffing.
Good at:
Finding things that are lost.
Remembering to take out the garbage.
Public transportation.
Being on time.
Making smart progress through my netflix queue.
Bad at:
Caring about what we eat for dinner.
Grocery shopping.
Restraining myself from buying new clothes.
Sending work emails--one mass email I sent confused a physician so much that dozens of cancer patients nearly did not get their cancer treatments.
Bad:
- parking a car
- math
- keeping the look of horror of my face when my husband tries to speak French or Englisch
- rembering important dates, like birthdays or the day the school will be closed
-choosing the right shade of nail polish
Good:
- eating, especially pasta
- drinking wine
- choosing ugly nailpolish
- shopping
- pretending to like Bob the Builder and that Bumba is the best thing next to sliced bread
- drawing Bumba (especially apriciated by the eldest girl)
I'm terribly bad at making lists, darling.
Good at:
yoga ( I am very flexible)
work
motherhood
making people laugh
friendship (see above)
burping (very loudly)
laundry (can remove pretty much any spot my family can schmutz onto their clothing)
sending Christmas cards
driving
BJ's (read a Cosmo article once...very informative!)
procrastinating
detecting someone's bullshit
keeping secrets
writing important dates on calendar
saying please & thank you
reading Belgian Waffle and loving it!!
Bad at:
math(s)
saving money
housekeeping
confrontation
hiding my disdain
burping in public
forgetting important dates I've written on calendar (or should that be on the good list?)
putting air in my tires
cleaning my minivan
doing /having/making more time for ME
I hate maths! I have to use my fingers to add up. My boyfriend laughs at me for it.
Great to see you blogging again!
please do not forget that you are
GOOD AT
-being wonderful
BAD AT
-taking compliments
My contribution over on my weblog.
O, and good to see you back blogging, Emma!
GOOD AT:
making it look like I'm VERY VERY BUSY AT WORK LOOK AT ME TIP TIP TAPPING AWAY WITH MY FROWNY CONCENTRATION FACE.
Ranting. Give me a topic. I'll rant about it. For hours on end. Until you want to smother me with a cushion and chop me up in to wee bits and bury me under the patio.
Overpromising.
BAD AT:
Relationships.
Keeping a tidy house.
Finishing anything I've started.
The phone. Anything to do with it.
Underpromising.
Lying.
Thank you for this post - I completely love your blog and I'm very glad you are posting again!
Bad at:
-Using the telephone. Even to phone friends. I make my husband answer it all the time.
-Not leaving everything to the last minute. Ref, work, leaving the house, posting something important.
-Confrontation. I'll stew and worry and feel sick but, eurgh, can never say anything.
-Not caring if people don't like me.
-Eating healthily. Having to face I'll probably be a chubster for life.
-Being elegant/enigmatic (always wanted to be one of those women whose perfume people would remember as she wafted about mysteriously in neutral tones and gorgeous jewels)
-Managing money.
Good at
-Remembering birthdays and buying awesome presents (also Christmas)
-Baking. It made my year when a friend's 2 year old shouted WOW on seeing my last creation.
-Helping with homework.
-Remembering conversations from years ago.
-Parking.
-Worrying.
-Getting animals to like me.
-Dealing with animal illness/accidents/excrement without wimping out.
-Pulling things out of the bag at the lats minute.
Good at
Bullshit
Quick thinking
Eating in restaurants
Spending copious sums of money in COS
Bad at
Humility
Doing my job propery
Losing weight
Saving money
Well slightly too late but I have been inspired by you and done my own list on my blog you can go there if you want!
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