I am currently in London, international city of glamour and so on. This is demonstrated by the following facts:
I have purchased two Marks & Spencer minimiser bras for the modish sum of 14 of your British pounds. I am very delighted with my newly crushed chest, it is everything I hoped for and more. With the sterling elastic assistance of my new bras, I can probably fit into almost 20% of my wardrobe, progress indeed. I also went to Londis for deodorant and Maplins for an adaptor, but then I had to stop before I became overwhelmed with retail opportunity excitement. The latter was an excellent retail experience for a Belgian resident, since it:
(a) took 30 seconds; and
(b) was very cheap; and
(c) took place on a Sunday.
London 1, Brussels 0, but Brussels doesn't care because it has a lift museum, and popular music in the metro.
An elderly Irish gentleman smelling strongly of Tenants Extra chatted me up on the 31 bus. Actually, he offered me his seat but I am fairly sure he did not actually think I was pregnant.
There has, apparently, been an escapee peacock down my father's street in recent weeks. "The neighbour's dog barked at it, so it flew onto Ivo's roof (ed's note: if you live in Notting Hill, there is a strong likelihood that one or more of your neighbours will be called Ivo) and sat there".
I caught a tiny frog in Beckenham which tried to jump into my cup of tea.
The CFO, who is also in London just called me. "I am in an office in Sussex Place", he said. "And I am watching a fox in the corner of the room scratch its ear. There is another one sleeping next to it".
Which was odd.
4. Social events
I went to 52 Betty's book launch last night, in posh sex emporium Coco de Mer. There is nothing like nervously sipping pink Cava and waiting for someone you recognise to arrive in a forest of high end vibrators and jade dildos to make you feel like a bit of a tool, but thankfully the Harridan arrived and I attached myself to her side, like her mute, black, parrot. We made an excellent double act, I think: her telling everyone whose paths we crossed that her "stroke face" was due to her root canal work rather than a stroke; me getting people's names wrong and knocking over flogging paddles and god knows what else at every turn.
Betty's book, The 52 Seductions, based on her former blog of the same name, is about Betty and her husband Herbert's year long mission to revive their sex life by seducing each other every week. It is not a how-to manual, and it's not self-congratulatory or likely to make you feel inadequate. It's warm, often thoughtful and frequently very funny. Actually, it's at least as much about love and vulnerability and the meandering course of long term relationships as sex. It feels a very brave book, actually. I would no more be able to speak of such things than I would be able to do particle physics, so I am particularly awed by her candour.
Most importantly, it was an excellent do, with mini sandwiches shaped like pants and pink Cava. I took a picture of the pants-wiches, reasoning, why be classy when you can make an arse of yourself.
Speaking of arse, there were also biscuits with chapter headings on them, very similar to my own arse biscuits, but larger.
Now I must return to Brussels, but not before I have walked around Marks & Spencer in a fugue state.
*The title of this post comes from today's chat with M, which also covered our respective attitudes to various geometric shapes.
"So, you're saying a disc is ok, but a circle is bad?"
"I don't know. Am I? I have nomenclature problems. I am saying bagel bad, biscuit good".
"Noted. Cheese: ok, elastic band: not ok. How do you feel about squares?"
"I associate them with caramel shortbread, which is positive".
"How do we feel about half circles? Like, a rainbow? Or half a reblochon?"
"I am against them".
This did not even arise in the context of Google Plus, it was just common or garden stupidity. How do you feel about circles?