Prizes prizes prizes
The school fête was a little dull this year (compare and contrast this, my favourite ever year, which we eventually worked out was supposed to be approximately Mamma Mia themed, when the boys wore swimming trunks and danced to Erasure's 'I love to hate you' and the girls wore bikinis made from CDs). Stalin was not even dressed up. Fingers did an exact re-run of the kitschy cowboy routine from 3 years ago, whilst Lashes was skulking at the back of some kind of weird colonial spectacular. "I am an African" he told me. "Because I have a legging noir. The ones with cameras are aventuriers". Er, right. Apart from that, the whole event appeared to be sponsored by Jupiler, which seems a sensible way to deal with having to spend an afternoon in the wind tunnel school yard being hit up for money for appalling tat whilst toying with a tepid hot dog. If you like beer. Which sadly I don't.
Anyway. The whole thing was almost redeemed by the "tombola", which is actually not a tombola in the sense of the summer fêtes of my own youth, and more of a sort of administratively officious raffle. Either way, we totally ruled, with FIVE prizes for ten tickets purchased. Impressive, no?
Our prizes were:
TWO pairs of (I suspect free with purchase) Leo (substandard Milka KitKat pretender) branded purple fluffy slippers
One skull motif trivet:
One (three for two) copy of Edgar Allen Poe's Extraordinary Stories:
And, cerise sur le gateau, a Gordon beer branded cool bag:
The children were excessively pleased with "their" prizes (even though the tickets were both bought by me and had my name on).
"Only ONE other person in my class one a prize" said Lashes, exultant. "Théo".
"Oh? Did he win anything good?"
" One of those square plastic shades you stick on the car window. With the Little Mermaid on it".
We all fell about laughing, because nothing puts a shine on your shit raffle prize like someone else's even shitter raffle prize.
Lame Euro Merchandise Part 1
A new occasional series, now, which I am calling "Lame Euro-merchandise". Courtesy of Beatrice, please marvel at these 'Wear Your Rights' t-shirts. I urge you in the strongest terms to follow that link and wait for the revolving gallery of "celebrities" wearing the t-shirts to go full circle. It's like an aesthetic car crash. I have found it literally impossible to decide which of them is worst.
1. Barbara Hendricks, that is NOT a good neckline for you.
2. Bianca Jagger looks terrifying, and having a noose round her neck is not helping.
3. "Mark Makai from Hungary", you are actually James Blunt's lovechild and I claim my prize, which I sincerely hope is not the t-shirt you, or indeed Emilia Ciovor, are wearing.
Why are these t-shirts so bad? Why? WHY? Would it be possible to design a worse t-shirt? Why is there a picture of a pleated skirt on the "fair trial" t-shirt? I have no answers.
Photo of the day
My photo, and actually probably my story, of the day, beating off strong competition from some excellent cucumber related copy, is about exploding alarm clocks in Ghent Ikea. This is the happiest alsatian you are ever likely to see.
Oh. I can only get a tiny version. Click on the link, it's a joy.
B: Is this Belgian terrorism?
Beatrice: I think it is a flamboyant wake up call to alert people to the fact there are many excellent flea markets in the region.