I wrote and deleted a lot of stuff on Friday, some of which read like an Oscar acceptance speech, some like notes scribbled on the back of a napkin and discarded by Alain de Botton after taking all Switzerland's hallucinogens, and some that was just random listing of badass animals I quite like. It all had to go, and then I got distracted by a full day of rain, compulsive baking and light child haranguing. Then I tried again last night and got distracted by exhaustion and wine. I didn't realise quite how accurate my prediction in the last post that it would be the last coherent thing I would write would prove.
Anyway, when I finally got back to this I decided that the only important thing for 2011 was that I should lighten up a bit.
I will not be wiser, or grow a backbone, or learn how to say no, or reduce my electricity bill or call my family more often, or shout less, or eat more fruit, let's face it. But if there's nothing else, there must be more inappropriate levity. Last year was the year in which I got sucked into fretting, self-flagellating and catastrophising. It wasn't exactly unjustified, in the circumstances, but enough is enough. I am boring myself. I am boring commenter Naomi. I am surely boring you. (If you are bored right now, do a google image search for "bored animals", it's weird and a bit wrong, very few of them look bored but it features both an aye aye and a turtle with a protuberance that reminds me unpleasantly of Julius's demise). Thank you so much for still reading, even though I have been a boring bastard all year. It was almost as if I didn't dare be flippant, or silly, because of all the serious things that were happening. But you know what? Fuck that. Moping is doing no-one any good.
So instead of giving it some big old New Year retrospective, I just drew my brain last night to remind us of the good old days. Then, this morning, I tried to take a less shit photo of it and there was some kind of technological bitchfight between my Macbook and my SD card and decent brain photo was the collateral damage. So here! Have a really shit photo! If you click on it, it's half legible. I think the stygian gloom is probably an accurate representation of how it looks in there anyway.
Would you like to draw me your new year, new brain?