Thursday, 11 November 2010

Expressionist Surrealist Colouring for the Under 5s

It turned out that, not to be outdone by Tuesday, what Wednesday had in store for us was a vomiting bug, so that was a midweek treat. I was, however, genuinely delighted to discover that the smallest Waffle, in line with his normal slightly OCD tendencies, has become a spectacularly accurate and tidy vomiter. Small, but significant mercies. I ended up with both of them in my bed last night, moaning gently as I tried to read about the legal framework of compulsory French health insurance under the covers. We do know how to live here in Uccle. Today Belgium is in the grip of dramatically terrible weather and it is a public holiday. Thankfully the boys are not completely recovered yet, so have refrained from killing me and feasting on my spinal fluid. That will presumably come tomorrow.

This morning's disturbing discovery came in the form of my friendly neighbourhood ING's Ensor children's colouring competition. What next? A Jake & Dinos Chapman colouring competition? Hieronymous Bosch? Cicciolina era Jeff Koons? Brace yourselves, this is nasty, possibly nastier than the petits sal├ęs.





And this, my absolute favourite:



Eeeeeeeeew.

The lucky winner wins, wait for it, "one night in Ostende with your parents!". We will avoid drawing the obvious conclusion as to what second prize might be.

Do you dare me to enter? I'm thinking rainbows and maybe tiny unicorns. The small print seems to suggest I don't even have to be a minor to enter. Excellent.

12 comments:

carolinefo said...

You are living the fairy tale in Belgiana, Waffle.

The Grimm's fairy tale....


WV = so unpleasant I don't care to repeat it. But I think it may be some kind of lethal micro-organism.

Fashion Limbo said...

oh dear, don't know what troubles me more, the drawings or the prize, the latter especially in this weather must be veeeeeery pleasant! :P

Claire Nelson said...

Those images are the scariest things since Robald. But MUCH, MUCH more likely to show up in my NIGHTMARES.
*downs half a bottle of whisky to blank out the subconscious*

M. said...

I triple fucking dare you. But there better be some double rainbows and some ASS KICKING LASER FOCUSED DINOSAURS!! RAWWWWWR!

Waffle said...

You must excuse M. She's moving continents tomorrow, she hasn't packed and doesn't have anywhere to stay. But sssssssh.

*humouring voice*

Laser eyes M! Right! Great idea!

Johnners said...

These drawings shame the little Johnners' primary school efforts. Where is the existential angst in your rainbow pictures children? Eh, eh?

VW = feotiona

encephalartos said...

A weekend in Ostende? Oh my... that sounds as exciting as a "Family holiday in a Russian gulag resort". :p

Maddy said...

I may have missed this in your illustrious archives, but you know there was actually a Chapman Brothers Colouring Competition, run by the Whitechapel Gallery? The whole exhibition felt so wrong it was, well, wrong.

Margaret said...

That is very horrible! Good luck to you! I have an idea: Enter to win, and then give the prize to someone you hate.

bbonthebrink said...

Accurate and tidy vomiters are a gift from the gods. I have one...out of two. Hope yous are all feeling better today.

frau antje said...

What? No skulls chewing on a herring? Tears, indignation, grotesque paintings, and now you throw in vomiting, on top of legal texts. They should have a competition where they all pile on and color the actual statue of Bosch, where he stands looking uncharacteristically dorky in his main square. He would not only approve, but insist the town be set on fire in celebration, though technically anything about Belgium scared the piss out of him, as well it should.

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