Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Drudgery lite

I said I would write something, but it's been a spectacularly uninspiring kind of day, comprised of, in varying proportions:

- Assorted domestic and administrative sysyphean stone rolling, with particular reference to the kitchen floor, laundry and a long, rage-filled early morning search for a missing swimming hat, finally located behind the dryer. Damn you, Belgian swimming pools and your officious insistence on pointless fabric skull caps. Once I had located it, the rest of the day was of course FILLED with sodding swimming hats, appearing in unlikely places, more than I could have possibly believed we own.

- Racking my empty brain. I hate this sensation. It's like it's sort of dry, and hollow, and however I try and trick it into originality, all I get is a sort of death rattle of tedium, with the faintest high-pitched backnote of whining from it. My brain is empty, wrung out, refusing to function. I must plan some kind of trip out of the house which is not to the dump, or Carrefour, or school. Oh, there is the accountant on Thursday! That will doubtless be newsworthy. And tea with the Teacup, which is always a treat. Also I am going to see Don Paterson do a reading on Friday which will be better than sitting on my arse eating dough foetuses (I ate one today. I'm not proud and it was dry and a bit rubbish).

The children have also expressed a clear view as to what we should do for my birthday: firstly, we must make sure Oscar's "birthday" - they have decided we share a birthday - is celebrated with due pomp and a large bone. Secondly, they would like to go to the Chalet Robinson like last year "where they put that firework in your ice cream". (They did, they put a birthday sparkler thing in my ice cream, as if I were 6 years old in my green velvet party dress, out for birthday tea in Bibi's Trattoria on Micklegate, spag bol, garlic bread and swirly white ice cream with a luminous criss-cross of green and pink sauce on the top). This seems like as good an idea as any, though does that mean I will have to take the waiter aside and tell him in a hushed undertone that it is my birthday, actually, and can I HAVE A SPARKLER I NEED A SPARKLER OR I WILL CRY?

- Talking of crying, I have also been crying - but with very good reason, first at this, and then at this.

- Wearing an exceptionally poor outfit. It is getting very very cold, so I am wearing one of those outfits - "outfit" really isn't the word, actually - where, when you get undressed in the evening (if you can bring yourself to, I confess to often sleeping in my clothes), you're startled at the number of layers you're wearing, several of which you have no memory of putting on. If anyone came round unannounced right now, I would just have to turn all the lights off and pretend to be out. Not that anyone ever does, except the Assassin. The Assassin came unannounced and rearranged all my furniture on Saturday. It's a massive improvement, actually, and he even dealt with the tarantula's nest of cables that have turned my living room into a deathtrap for the last twelve months. In return, I agreed to look after Bob "if anything happens to me". Which let's face it, it very well might. IT Helpdesks are dangerous places.

- The usual trace elements of existential panic, self-loathing and baby animals. Also a little light picking at my horrendously dry lips, which could frighten small children who stray too close to my forbidding, child unfriendly face (in which case, frankly, it is their own fault).

What was your day made up of?


Eireann said...

I spent most of the day at a conference in London which I THOUGHT was going to be a networking event for arts-industry hopefuls, but turned out to be How To Network 101, complete with condescending Q&A sessions, role-play, etc.

Then came home to find my favorite mug broken.

Lisa said...

I've been a total Grumplestiltskin. Chocolate is helping moderately.

Thank you for the giggles.

the polish chick said...

um, not to be a persnickety picky bag (which i can be), but it's "comprising" and not "comprised of." sometimes i can keep my mouth shut about stuff like this but i am particularly fond of the word "comprise."

today i had a CT scan on my neck and chest for long drawn out reasons which have nothing to do with the fact that my fucking foot hurts and the doctors keep looking at my many (not foot related) irrelevant bits.

WrathofDawn said...

Hmmm... started off my day having to distribute a press release re the arrest of the person who made a death threat by phone to one of our members. (I can't make this stuff up.) Lovely one-person play tonight.

wv farrype - I didn't know they did.

Mrs Jones said...

My day, like the last seven, has been filled with snot, snot and more snot garnished with a hacking cough. However, laryngitis turned up today, real, proper laryngitis. I've never had it before, it's quite entertaining - I alternate between sounding like Marge Simpson and herself out of Florence and the Machine.

Lola said...

I spent first half of the day categorising comments made by my interviewees into either "What is it that you do?", "How is it bad?", "How do you cope?" and "How do you feel about that?" It was drudgery and made my shoulders ache because the chair was crap.

Then I was forced to listen to my fellow students describe their ideas for a community nutrition intervention, under the supervision of a woman so pale, limp, wet and flaccid that she reminds me of an empty latex glove.

I went back for a bit more categorisation (yeah, I know how to have fun) before going home to criticise my poor husband for not compelling his friend to agree to book a specific snow holiday, rather than insist on a resort at the altitude of Everest base camp but in accommodation that possesses a balcony. A balcony! Our opportunity for snow-based sliding foiled by the lack of an outside shelf that will be too cold to sit on.

Husband even made the supper, so I tried to make amends by not pointing out that Jamie is absurdly optimistic in imagining that broccoli and salmon will steam successfully in just 8 minutes. So we had sushi and crunchy vegetables, and he completely forgot to cook any noodles.

It was not a particularly good day, but the word verification is dimplo, which goes some way to improving today's outlook.

Jessica said...

Dishes, sneezes, worries about Christmas shipping deadlines, an extreme lack of creativity, bacon, bacon guilt, tedium.

For your lips: Blistex lip-medix in the blue pot works wonders if you put it on before bed. The stick doesn't work as well.

Johnners said...

I shouted at the children. (They are my children, I feel I should point out, not just random children.) I probably cooked them something. There was probably also cleaning. The days all blur into one after a bit.

WV = beeto, like oxo?

Nimble said...

Exasperation: at my husband who failed to go to the grocery store and do the thanksgiving shopping as instructed. His excuse: the parking lot was practically full and the store was too busy. There is a reason it is so busy -- that would be the impending holiday! And we still need the groceries to prepare the central meal for that holiday!

Triumph: I performed a surgical grocery store strike after work and visited two stores in succession and got every last thing on my list. More feast related triumph - my turkey will fit in the pot I borrowed to soak it in. So I do not need to come up with a different turkey brining container.

Shock and Awe: did you know a rabbit can become pregnant on the same day it gives birth? A friend of ours now knows that the hard way. She is finding homes for two litters of bunnies. The younger ones are three weeks old today and are very hard to resist. I'm making an effort as I don't want to be responsible for our cat related rabbit death in our house.

Anonymous said...

That divorce blog made me cry too. Ouch!


Bryony said...

got up early to do an interview on local radio that I think only my husband listened to, found excellent skirt in charity shop, did a lot of cooking and visited a v nice gentleman who told me all about tiling a Sheikh's kitchen. On reflection, that all looks quite mad....

Madame DeFarge said...

My day was mostly spent in bittersweet regret, at which I am a world expert. And then doing the washing.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Today, Waffle, I am mostly snowed in.

WV: 'Vatteri' - May be my new swear word of the day!

cruella said...

I attended a do at the Royal Castle as a matter of fact.

Though not strictly true as I sang in one of the choirs that made up part of the divertissement.

Whilst the high and mighty ate duck terrine and the like I hade a rather dry and crumbly chicken wrap in a confined space in the castle church. The bulgur came tumbling down my front but I think I managed to hide it with my oversized purple shawl. (Not my choice, that one.)

Apart from this the day was mainly spent running around in slippery snow and a very furry hat with very flappy ear flaps, to and from the City Hall and parliament where I grind out my daily pay.

Grit said...

i fell down a flight of stairs in hong kong and by a miracle landed on my arse. i hobbled around all the rest of the day clutching my own rear going ooo oooo oooo while the children looked bored and indifferent. the only joy i got from the entire episode was standing under the hsbc building shouting 'my bum hurts'. i felt i had been able to turn my personal pain into a profound statement against capitalism.

Hypatia said...

YES! so happy that the sandwich thing isn't just me. But if I eat something in the appartment at 4 o'clock, the mother will advise me to skip dinner, so what can I do?