Surpasses expectations. I am quietly proud of myself here. Apart from the destruction of the bathroom curtains and the time when the weepette ate an entire block of parmesan, and the incident with the periscope, I have been more quietly hectoring and a bit self-righteously martyred than shouty. This may not sound like much to you, but .. no, actually it's not much, is it? But it's something.
In line with expectations. (Thus: house looks like a crack den and smells of sewers, and I will be picking Fimo off my clothing for several years to come).
Felt creatures: meets expectations
Fimo creatures: surpasses expectations
Dutch class finger puppet creation: surpasses expectations (Firstly, this thing was only required for Wednesday, so I am basically giving the CFO a free pass, which is very kind of me. All too predictably, I got quite into the whole sorry process and ended up making the fingerpuppet hair - sorry, that's haar - out of a scouring pad, creating a creature almost as alarming as Robald himself. Go me).
Actual paying work: meets own (very low) expectations. Falls significantly below ING/HSBC's expectations.
Fruitless but detailed research in the hope of generating actual paying work: surpasses expectations. Pointlessly, but still.
Invoicing: falls significantly below expectations.
Lightbulb purchase (as noted on the list on the fridge since mid-September): falls significantly below expectations.
4. Interacting with other adults
Unable to assess as virtually none (on balance, probably for the best). Oh, there was Prog Rock! But that's more like having a vast disembodied brain sitting in your house. A brain that makes cups of tea.
Fails to meet expectations despite no members of household achieving levels of fun detectable using our marking system. That craft shit is expensive, the hippy museum is €22.50 of gender equality rhetoric expressed through the medium of a shite cardboard maze and the monsoon conditions mean I'm four taxis down in three days. Then the children will insist on needing shoes and clothing and doughnuts and mysterious shaped elastic bands. Oh, but it is very boring having no money (as the children will doubtless testify).
Frequency in line with expectations. Less said about quality the better.