Di Rupo, the foppish Socialist " .. doesn't understand much and he's slow".
Laurette Onkelinx and Joëlle Milquet "are morons, really. If you put the two of them in a TV studio together, it's like a lunatic asylum".
Flemish is described as "a language of savages".
Fattie, Bart de Wever, is "a horror" .. "pathological" .. "physically weak ... he eats waffles, lots of waffles".
Then there's this gem:
" Di Rupo ... ne fait rien et il se contente de se maquiller .. tout le monde sait très bien quand une négociation est foutue et qu’on peut rentrer chez soi : Di Rupo quitte la salle précipitamment avant tout le monde et court aux toilettes pour se maquiller"
"Di Rupo .. does nothing, just puts his make up on. We all know when the negotiations are screwed and we can go home: Di Rupo hurries out of the room before everyone else to put his makeup on in the toilets".
It's hardly edifying, particularly on a week when Jon Stewart is also mocking Belgium. There are owls in the Groot Bijgaarden pet shop better qualified to form a government and one day I will prove it.
Of course, I myself have demonstrated my entirely superior work ethic in every way today, as ever. I have had difficulty deciding which tasks to procrastinate about first today, resulting in excellent productivity levels in the fields of:
- -lengthy but inconclusive reflections on the perfect karaoke song (do you have one? Do tell);
- nourishing minor resentments;
- eating champagne truffles;
- deciding what my signature cocktail would contain (The Belgian Waffle: advocaat, speculoos liqueur and iced Yorkshire Gold tea. What's yours?)
Neither the penultimate chapter nor the invoicing have performed quite so well. My character is under a table in McDonalds outside the Jardin des Plantes, fretting about straw wrappers, while my invoices remain purely theoretical.
In keyword news: someone in Calgary, Canada, was anxious to find out "if Sausage McMuffin is code for drugs". I am trying to imagine the context in which this might arise and failing.
And a Kir Avignon, as mentioned yesterday, is with lavender sirop, and very delicious. I did not, however, drink so many tonight that I have forgotten the person who said "from reading your blog I thought you would be much older and fatter". I suppose this is some kind of a backhanded compliment, but now my blog feels self-conscious. Does my font look big in this?