Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Tuesday update

A quickie, then, because you've been so patient.

Today's keywords:

"Lantern fish devil may cry" (incomprehensible)

"Mature women use self-deprecation filthy" (uncanny, though possibly not the same kind of 'filthy')

"Pathetic Belgium" (mean)

"Gaufre de Li├Ęge chewy" (stale)

"aspirational glasses" (yes please, particularly after recent, wounding keyword search "Belgian bint ugly glasses bad attitude").


News from behind the deathly barricades at Gulag 54 is.. anticlimactic. There is lots of this kind of thing:




Policemen mooching around in a desultory fashion carrying offensive weapons. We were breathlessly informed that "the alert level has been raised", but then allowed to wander, unchallenged into the building through a side door kindly left open by the handyman. C'est normal.

5 complaints:

1. I have a whiny, snivelly, cold
2. M has given me her psychosomatic cough through brain twinnage cross-infection
3. My outfit is all wrong when it should have been so so right.
4. I left the fridge open all day
5. I have been a total wimp about something and have consequential self-loathing. 'Letting I dare not wait upon I would, like the poor cat in the adage', as Jeeves regularly said to a baffled Bertie Wooster. I do not even have a peerless manservant to pour me a stiff drink to compensate.


5 salvations:

1. There are 2 Colin the Caterpillar cakes left in my floral tin.
2. I am seeing the Teacup for a lavish lunch on Thursday when we will exchange fish war stories. And oh look! She has revived her ailing blog with a lovely post which features a mantilla.
3. I have managed to break my Beatrice Ong shoes in, at last, after endless blisters.


4. B is being particularly hilarious at the moment. He told me today that he "wished to stab this day with an ivory vampire killing kit", then set out a detailed fantasy of a killing spree we could go on together. His resources of baby animal material are seemingly inexhaustible.
5. Tomorrow I plan to do nothing more challenging that sit in total silence in my house and write, then go and drink Kirs Avignonais. I do not know what they are, that is the surprise.

Your whines and salvations in the comments, please.

14 comments:

Bryony said...

Whines:

I am recovering from the mother of all colds and am quite deaf

I have blisters from wearing shoes (see salvations)

I did not buy a decent pair of boots when I saw them and despair of finding them again


Salvations:

I am wearing shoes having spent the last 12 months with one or other leg in plaster

I am going to see Made in Dagenham tonight

I am not in Brussels today at a meeting I should have attended - your photos make it an unalluring prospect


the kirs sound devine!

ganching said...

Whines: I hate bloody eBay. I sold a camera for my friend and now it has got lost in the post and the person who I sold it to is bound to think I am a cheat and a liar and will give me bad feedback.

Salvations: I love eBay. At the beginning of the summer I bought two dresses even though I could only afford one. I asked the Internet which one to keep and the Internet told me to take back the Nicole Farhi dress which I did. I have regretted it all summer. Last week I found the dress on eBay and bought it for a fifth of its original price.

redfox said...

Whines:
1. Sometimes I have to do work. Not all the time, mind you, but often enough. What rot.

2. I am not wealthy enough to spend the rest of my adult life swanning about instead of working, yet I feel this is the only really acceptable state of affairs. If only I could be incredibly gifted at something I would do anyhow, and the world were prepared to give me vast sums of money for doing it--that would be best. Then I could mostly swan, but also avoid developing an inferiority complex.

3. The cat pissed on my handbag and also on some teaching-related papers. While I was trying to salvage this situation, S. and I both failed to realize the other one of us wasn't monitoring the naked-bottomed infant, who then pissed on the rug.

4. I have loads of clothes but nothing to wear.

5. No one sells Tom Ford lipstick in these parts.

6. My god, I'm longwinded.

Salvations:
1. The pissing infant is really quite charming and adorable, and better yet, just took a FOUR HOUR nap.

2. I did recently acquire one really beautiful soft cotton shirt that I would be happy to wear every day if it wouldn't be stinky and socially inappropriate.

3. Someone else has just made me a nice hot cup of tea.

4. It is no longer scorchingly hot out (100F/38C!), and so I can enjoy the tea as I should, and may even be able to wear tights again soon.

Anonymous said...

Whines:
I have three months of invoices to do. The longer I leave them the more terrified I get. Problem is, there are taxes and bills to be paid and I'm running out of money to live on. I have a pathological aversion to doing accounts. Oh, for a monthly wage or salary rather than being self-employed and so bad at organising my accounts.

I rarely finish anything on time (see 3 months of overdue invoices). I procrastinate and then agonise because I'm late and become paralysed by the situation. It's become a vicious circle. I'm amazed that my customers still keep come back for more.
This produces considerably high levels of anxiety, but I don't externalise any of it until there is steam coming out of my ears.

I just wish I could stay in bed for a few days and then get up, everything having been done in my absence. It's not going to happen.

Salvations:
My daughter. Somehow, everything becomes alright again every evening when I pick her up from school and I just focus on being with her and being her mum.

redfox said...

Poor Anonymous, you need a fairy bookkeeper. (I am imagining pince-nez, feathery wings, and a wee Jaeger suit.)

Fat Controller said...

Jeeves quoting Lady Macbeth, paraphrasing John Heywood if we're going to pedantic about it.
Yes, let's.

Margaret said...

Whines: My mother-in-law has moved in with us for a few months.

Salvations: Booze.

Detoured Girl said...

Hey, I'm currently living in Tokyo (yes, land of the rising sun and all that) but "home" is Brussels (I am not Belgian, though, but husband -and son- are) Anyway, love your blog, it has taken the dread away from many of my days here.

Boy do I have whines:

Bought all sorts of manicure stuff only to bit all my lovingly tendered nails two days later

Have Japanese lesson today and did not do any studying or homework or anything. Bad, bad student....

The zipper in my beloved brown boots has gone mental and is all uneven like a shark's mouth, rendering said boots unwearable

Salvations:

Have good stock of cookies to bribe Japanese teacher

It's hot today (no need for boot wearing)

Nails still look like crap (but at least they are all mine, not like the acrylic abominations you see around here)

Ciao!

Anonymous said...

Whines: I am struggling with motivation at work and avoiding doing necessary (but unpleasant) stuff by posting this instead.

Worrying about daughter who lives interstate who has been diagnosed with depression and general anxiety disorder and feel that her choice of boyfriend isn't helping but can neither say this nor do anything about him

Salvations

Gin and tonic

other daughter agrees, so we can bitch about boyfriend together.

frau antje said...

Whines:
The repeated cycles of pressure variations known as sound waves.

Salvations:
Little receptors in the brain.

Sounds healthy enough, doesn't it?

Betty M said...

Whines : maternity leave over so back at work. Need to hole up in depressing first aid room to pump. Reminded that too many of the team are wasters.

Salvations: still a chance of being a Euromillionaire on Friday night. The baby gave me a big hug. The other two didn't shout at all this evening.

the polish chick said...

whines:
1. PMS blues
2. have to go to work tomorrow
3. parents coming in a week and i am feeling profoundly and increasingly antisocial
4. am overwhelmed about Big Life Plans which are becoming scarier and scarier the more Actual Things i must do to get them completed (or at least started)
5. due to accountant fuck-up, we owe the government a rather largish cheque

salvations:
1. have lovely foody boozy friends coming over on saturday for supper
2. thursday will be one of only 4 days i have to work this month
3. just put my mother-in-law on the plane
4. mr. monkey says Big Life Plans are only a suggestion and not to fret and somehow that helps
5. red wine

merillion said...

Re: "M has given me her psychosomatic cough through brain twinnage cross-infection"
**************
My husband,Bob, thinks that after 41 years of marriage, I have done a mind-meld on him, & harmed his brain.

I tell him that whatever my brain has put into his brain can only be good stuff, as I am very intelligent.

He thinks we're more like the 2 jars in Young Frankenstein - GOOD BRAIN-BAD BRAIN. (you know which one I am!

Marie said...

I mistook the picture of your shoes for a picture of your children, wearing capes and black paper masks. Make of that what you will.