M said she would let me off blogging tonight but I am the kind of craven, girlie swot who likes EXTRA homework.
A flying visit to London then, to look at this:
Shiny. But small! For some reason I was imagining something a little like one of those sunburst clocks from the 1970s attached to a large piece of ribbon. My slight disappointment at the medal was entirely tempered by hearing that there is an Actual Sword genuinely involved. The Queen wore turquoise, apparently. And left her handbag on the throne (is he winding me up?) to do the sword business.
So. My father is a knight of the realm, and also features prominently in this list of The Best Beards In Science:
(in an unfortunate subbing error he is mislabelled. He is the one in the middle but that is not his name. Respect the beard, Times!). I am very proud. And a little envious of that beard at the top.
Apart from that I bought:
- cod liver oil capsules as M insists they are miraculous for your skin and I look like the sloughed off skin of a particularly boring species of snake at the moment;
- a cheap 'n' nasty Rimmel nail polish called 'Celebrity Bash'. Which leaves me wondering: celebrity would you most like to bash? (me: Gwynnie (though not hard, I promise, what with the osteoporosis), M: "SCARLETT LISPHANSON").
- several patent cold remedies. My colds are blending into each other like coats of paint on the Forth Bridge. Is that was this winter will be like? Oh goodie.
- A packet of Halloween crackers to assuage my parental guilt. They are rubbish, let me advise you in the strongest terms not to bother. Also, until you have tried to translate a joke involving a play on the word "spell" to two, to all intents and purposes, Belgian children, you have not known true futility.
- A packet of Jammy Dodgers, eaten in its entirety by the weepette in about two minutes flat as I came upstairs to put the children in bed. Bastard. He knew he had done wrong; I found him cowering under the babyfoot with a sort of half remorseful, half nauseous expression. Since I know EXACTLY how that feels, I let him off with a sort of half-hearted 'bad boy'. He spent the rest of the evening like this:
I also know how that feels.