E: I don't know what heading to put on this email.
M: Don't ask me. I don't know when the last time I had a proper job was. I know nothing of such things.
E: You see, I am worried that because of how my email address looks, the message will go straight to spam.
E: Yeah, that and the fact I've decided to head it "Greeting dearest! I am sending you warmest greetings from Lagos. I am Nigerian widow long time my last message goes unsanswered".
M: I AM THE DAUGHTER OF DECEASED WARLORD ENRIQUO MENTOYA PLEASE TO SEND NIVEA CREME TO THIS CARRIBEAN BANK ACCOUNT.
E: Or maybe "RX VICODIN IN 48 HOURS ANYWHERE IN WORLD". Or just 'Your bank account is broken, give us your PIN', then a shitload of Cyrillic script.
M: That should do the trick.
E: Doomed. We are doomed.
M: Not me. I have in-depth knowledge of bacon flavoured consumables.
E: Is it ok if I steal that for my email?
Footlocker Fresh King
E: You need to watch this. I became hysterical.
B: Holy crap that is hilarious. "Now you're in Brussels" has to be one of the most ominous lines I've ever heard. It's like a jail sentence.
The Germans have a word for it
E: Thank you for the ninja cat and the barbary lions. Are you familiar with Transformer Owl? Or this? I love "the head is for the purpose of growing horns and so the mouth can be somewhere".
B: Transformer Owl is scary. I think he might want to cut me and take my shoes. And cut them. How about Mel Gibson's greatest hits set to kittens?
E: I worry about how I would have survived adulthood in the days before internet baby animals. Hard drugs, I think. I bet there is a word for this in Japanese. For what we do. A noun meaning "to give love and support by exchanging internet clips of great cuteness or humour". I just bet you.
B: I'm sure you're right. German might have one too, but it would have to involve pain.
E: Yes. The German version, all 84 syllables of it, would translate as: "the act of taking refuge in inconsequential internet ephemera in order to escape the rigours of daily life".