British supermarkets marvelled at: 2
Ginger cake eaten: 0
Compensatory yoghurt eaten: 17 pints
Reader recommended cafés tried: 1 Roscoffs, vg in every way except the carrot cake. Oh yes:
Carrot cake eaten: half a slice. Bof.
Invoices submitted: 2
Number of attempts required to submit 2 invoices: 6
Number of times over money on invoices already spent: 700
Insults relating to Dr Karg collated: 10
"Tiring, devoid of nutritive value and ultimately unfullfilling. All the advantages of fellatio without mess" from this person
"Dr Karg sounds like a Victorian nutter who forcibly removes wombs and puts stuffed songbirds in the empty cavity. He then dries out the wombs and turns them into his crispbreads" from this person)
Dr Karg apologists discovered: 3
Body brushing sessions: 3
Nail trimming with knife accidents: 0
Tweets: 35 (this is very VERY VERY BAD. Internet 1, Willpower 0).
Words written: Ooooh thousands. Tall Tales piece (provisionally entitled 'Love in the time of the Works Directive'), 2 Facegoop posts, a lesser, but not insignificant amount of book words.
Sightings of Jordan on ITV2: Apparently infinite.