Shiny new Gap trousers tried on: 4
Shiny new Gap trousers bought: 0
Fits of self-loathing induced by Gap "Curvy" trousers: 1
Mildly comic whirlpool baths taken: 3
Discernible effect on skintone of concerted whirpool bathing, body brushing and Weleda Birch oil use: 0
Reader recommended cafés tried: 1 (Jika Jika. Good coffee. Improved carrot cake. What's with the obsession with carrot cake though, Bath? I am not a rabbit. Je ne suis pas un lapin. Ich bin nichts ein Kaninchen, No soy conejo).
Tweets: 18 (improved, but still crap)
Number of pairs of shoes dragged from Belgium in a small suitcase: 9
Number of pairs of shoes worn in last 3 days: 1
Dr Kargs crackers consumed: 0
Packets of Caramel Nibbles consumed: 1
Pointless vitamins consumed: 8
Words spoken to another live human being: Maybe 30?
Dead ends and deletions: too numerous to count
Words: Eh, who's counting. Not me, it's depressing.