Sunday, 11 April 2010

Photo Sunday Words Fail Me Type Post

It's a fuzzy photo special night.

First:




This is Hotdog for whom I developed a deep, adulterous passion in Paris this weekend whilst weepette was trustingly waiting for me in Brussels. I am a dog whore (hello, creepy keyword searchers!). In this picture I am in the lift, taking him for a walk at 2am to the jeers of the assembled Parisians. Hotdog's papa is unfeasibly beautiful AND a patissier trained by Pierre Hermé.

This is not (the only reason) why I love Hotdog. I love his tiny rabbit like hind legs and the way he flops stoically wherever you put him. Hotdog was entirely indifferent to me. This did not in any way diminish my passion.

I had a wonderful time in Paris. Beautiful dinner with my beautiful beautiful friend Trish who is a fiendishly fabulous cook, justly celebrated, and rocks a dinner party better than anyone in the world.

We had:

20 types of goats cheese, fig bread, beautiful tomatoes, salad, truffle oil. The echt Parisians were horrified at this cheese starter monstrosity. (They were similarly puzzled by the arse biscuits I brought along. I begged, mortified, that noone try and eat them)

Caesar salad with chicory en hommage to Belgium (all hail the mighty chicon). New season asparagus.

Strawberry soup with lemongrass. Brownies. 2 types of chocolate sauce.

Way too much champagne.

So much too much that barely a few hundred yards from Le Bon Marché and La Grande Epicerie, a few short metro stops from the magical Maje outlet shop, on a beautifully hot and sunny Saturday, I was incapable of moving. Trish wore sunglasses inside all morning. I lay on the sofa with Hotdog. It was lovely, actually, and prevented me from spending money I don't have on further fripperies.

Second:

Moomins (terrible pics, beautiful exhibition)










I hope Smack Crumple Bang will provide some better pics soon. I will nag him until he does. The exhibition is on until 29 August in the city of the damned, sorry, Centre Belge de la Bande Dessinée

Three:

How Facegoop has influenced my, er, face.

I took this picture last summer when Céline, the tame space lizard on the Armani Counter at Printemps Beauté attacked me with her full make up weaponry. I found it frightening.



But now look at me on Friday night!



I am voluntarily wearing The Full Céline. If anything, I am wearing MORE make up in picture 2. Give me another six months and I will no longer be able to move for the weight of all the make up I will be wearing. I welcome this. It's preparation for my old age, to be spent in an insalubrious bar somewhere near the Bourse with a smelly dog (possibly Hotdog, who I will have stolen and had stuffed on his demise), permanently half cut on "'alf an 'alf" (I do not actually know what this is, but I know that old ladies near the Bourse with smelly dogs drink it. This is sufficient for me).

Despatches, as of Tuesday, will come from Butlins. I will say no more upon this subject until I find out if the wifi works there, except to whimper gently at the prospect of three entire days spend in "Splash Waterworld". I do not "do" wet. Splash me at your peril, I am getting that out there NOW, Butlins Bognor. You have been warned.

40 comments:

Margarita said...

Hot Dog is pretty cute and looks like a great cuddler. I find makeup girls always apply way too much makeup when they're trying to sell product, I always end up looking 10 years older, but I still buy the make up (I think I feel bad or something), and then at home can use it to my discretion. Sounds like a fabulous party.

http://www.margaritareczek.com

Leatherdykeuk said...

Jack Russells and Moomins! Two of my favourite things!

Beatrice said...

While Hotdog's papa IS the most hand-some creature on the Planet, I still greatly prefer notre cher weepette. Sorry, Hotdog looks like hotdog; weepette is an elegant and beautiful creature. And he's passionate about you. In my personal referenda, Yes to Papa, but because of himself, not because of his dog.

Have you thought of extention of your production line? Arse biscuits could become french. A quand les biscuits cul, bite ou baiser? If you bring them to Paris, you really have to because I don't think that English language knowledge of an average french person would allow him to understand the subtile meaning of cunt, for example.
But then again, would the french get the sense of rude biscuits at all???

p.s. while googling for rude inspirations in french, google came up with a phrase "ton cul est étonnant". It's almost as poetic as Kiss&Ride.

Betty M said...

Not so hot on the Hotdog but 20 sorts of goats cheese and a trained patissier - I'm so jealous. Having just refused to fork out nearly £4 for a minuscule Mont Blanc (the first I have ever seen in London) a tame patissier is my next must have for my home.

the polish chick said...

good god, where in the fuck do i go to meet sexy french foodies? he is delish! if you help with a dual kidnapping avec moi, you can keep the dog, i shall keep the man. possibly in my basement. or the spare room. if he's as good as they say, i think even mr. monkey would not object. whatddya say?

Alison Cross said...

I would have loved to see those Parisian faces with your Tourette's biscuits! Bet they tasted great ;-)

20 types of cheese? Sounds like a seizure on a plate. Delish!

I spent the day with 2 weepets yesterday. Gorgeous things - as delicate as porcelain and as toasty as, erm, toast on your tummy in the middle of the night.

I had too much to drink champers-wise m'self and found myself in the confessor position beside the lavvy at 3am, 5am and - most embarassingly 7am - when the host was trying to get in to do his morning voiding.

Bring on Butlins! Can't wait ;-)

Ali x

kathycastro said...

Are those painted toenails I see???

Happy Frog and I said...

Hotdog is a lovely looking dog, but no match for weepette. Brownies and too much Champagne sound a match made in heaven to me!

Johnners said...

Love the full Celine, something to aspire to.

WV = fuless, what a lovely sound!

Anonymous said...

Butlins???? Truly? Does it still have barbed wire fences? Butlines SO does not sound like your natural environment, but I presume you are mortifying the flesh in the line of auntly duty..... Good luck!

Brussels Dave said...

"'alf an 'alf" = a glass of half champagne and half white wine. Check out Le Cirio just next to the Bourse on a Saturday afternoon around 3 or 4 o'clock for the full "Belgian ladies with huge make up and tiny dogs" action and a glipmse of your future.

Em said...

Moomins! Mama Moomin biting ankles. Thank you.

Butlins? As in Hi-de-hi??? Thank you in advance.

awhirlinlondon said...

Gorgeous!!! You AND the post.

Jaywalker said...

Beatrice - I had a few "Dans ton cul" but they were totally unmoved. Sigh.

Polish Chick - you can't go keeping patissiers in your cellar, I believe. I have researched the matter.

Kathycastro - Why yes, very observant Ms C. Also open toed sandals. It was WARM. Shocking.

Anon - I do not know; but I intend to find out. Fearless reportage. Or whining. Definitely one or the other.

Brussels Dave - Yes, the Cirio is EXACTLY where I was thinking of. It can't be actual champagne though, can it? Because it's too cheap. And sweet. No matter, that's where you'll find me.

AnonyGay said...

You take Hotdog, and I'll take monsieur le patissier (if you make this deal, I promise to bring you buckets of half & half upon demand). Based upon your description, I am triangulating where in Paris it is best to wait so my new amour will stumble upon and promptly fall in love with me.

Also, Full Celine? Stunning.

Young at Heart said...

Butlins??? hope you packed plenty of brownies and champagne....good luck...

Margaret said...

polish chick: I bet he pronounces it "'ot dawg". I am swooning just thinking about it. I wish I could help you with your scheme, but my husband doesn't let me kidnap handsome Frenchmen and their dogs.

Lisa-Marie said...

I think weepette is prettier than ot dawg.

Your makeup is VG, did you have contacts in, or did you do what i do and go around bumping into things?
enjoy Butlins!

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