My own obsession is losing children. My god. I thought I was exceptionally sanguine, to the point of neglectful, about letting my children wander around major conurbations scavenging lead off roofs and picking pockets. But the blighters have wandered off, distracted by some shiny money-sucking pit of tat, on so many occasions today my nerves are in tatters. Particularly since several times it happened in water. Oh yes, I have been in "Splash Waterworld" already. I think I may have mentioned (repeatedly) that water is not my element. Well, add in an attempt to keep an eye on approximately buoyant children aged 4-8 each heading away from you on a random trajectory into a packed, splashy, soup of bodies and you have a recipe for HOLYFUCKWHERE ISTHEBARNOIDON'TCAREIT'SONLYFOUROCLOCK.
Other than that, preliminary observations:
1. The hotel is very pleasant. They have gone for those colour change mood lighting type things in a big way, so much so that even the bath is a symphony of rainbow LEDs. I am writing this from my bed, which is going from blue, to purple to red, to yellow on a 30 second cycle. It's like being in a very very sedate disco. Talking of disco, the lifts, which also have multi-coloured lighting, play a selection of disco standards that DEMAND you dance. In a lift full of strangers. This should be obligatory in all lifts. There is a tiny fridge in which to store bottles of wine and well appointed tea and coffee making facilities with tiny biscuits. There is wifi. There is even a balcony from which the boys can drop Bakugans on giant, menacing seagulls, who will eat them without even slowing in their mission to carry off small holidaying children and hold them ransom. I am distinctly not complaining.
2. The food is not up to much, but what it lacks in taste or vitamins, it makes up for in omnipresent all-you-can-eat ice cream machines. I can accept this arrangement.
3. My face is sloughing off under the onslaught from bracing British sea air and chlorine. I have a peeling nose and am terrified freckles will be next. This would be too high a price to pay.
4. I am extremely tired. The multicoloured lights are sending me some kind of coded message, encouraging me to sleep. I must go and build up my strength for another day of child-misplacing panic and Mr Whippy.