Friday, 12 March 2010

Friday night, Uccle style

Whoa, I'm a mess tonight. Weird parts of me currently aching: gums, right eyelid, fingertips, teeth, ears. How can I be so tired and still be so cross not to be out having (unspecified, fantasy, only existing in my head) Fun? Someone should just send me to bed with no dinner. Or take me to Chez Maman. It's definitely one or the other.

Couple of housekeeping things with a London bias, sorry.

I am appearing at this thing organised by Mr Robbie Sexy Mermaid Hudson (that is his real name) on Thursday 25 March at a public house in Kilburn. My part will be very short and ridiculous. I don't really know how to do performance type things. I have always managed to evade the public speaking training at work, because they video you making a short presentation. In my mind the words "they video you making a short presentation" are mysteriously transmuted into "they rip out your viscera with their bare hands and toast them on pitchforks in front of you". That's how much I enjoy that kind of thing. I have agreed to do it because I want to get out of the house and meet other human beings. Seriously, try me. Suggest I come and muck out your turkey shed, I'll almost certainly say yes if you can guarantee me conversation with adults. Or turkeys. Or the pitchfork.

Anyway. The rest of it sounds pretty fantastic. If anyone wishes to go, you can get the tickets from the email address provided by Mr RSM Hudson following that Tall Tales link. Possibly. They other popular people's fans may have already taken all the tickets. I'll be shit anyway, and that's not me being self-deprecating. But the other stuff will be EXCELLENT.

With my Cruel Tea arse pinny on, I'll be going to this to sell arse biscuits, cosies, magnets and aprons at this event on Sunday 28th March. It sounds really good. Probably quite strange. I will embrace the strange and try to sell it a rude biscuit. If you do come along, do please come and say hello. I will talk to turkeys or agricultural implements at the moment as explained above, so actual humans will be rapturously welcome. I can't guarantee I'll manage to form sentences, but, oh, I'll be so pleased to see you.

But for now, nearly 2 weeks in Belgeland beckons and I definitely need to make my own entertainment using only expired luncheon vouchers, 23 centimes and some rotting vegetables. On the strength of tonight, nothing very edifying seems likely to happen. I will, at least, try to shout less and write more. But I would like to have a little fun too... Go on, suggest things I can do to stop myself necking gin straight from the bottle and crying in bed by Tuesday. I obviously need a challenge.


the polish chick said...

what exactly is wrong with necking gin straight from the bottle? sounds pretty challenging to me, and i am pretty certain your liver would back me up on that. and, as i learned in my wicked and dissipated youth, it's not a good time unless the liver gets a good and thorough beating.

still - perhaps watching movies and making snide remarks? i do that A LOT and it can be very entertaining.

Lisa-Marie said...

I think you should have the gin, and also make soup with the vegetables. if you chuck chilli in, the warm flavour hides flavour-of-questionable-vegetable. Many put some gin in too. wine works, I don't see why gin wouldn't!

Also, you have quite alot of readers, we could maybe do posting Emma random things? Getting post is quite entertaining, and it can't take that long for stuff to get to Belgeland!

Infact, if you email me your house address, I'll send you something tomorrow. I have nothing else to do anyway. (hughes(dot)lisamarie(at)googlemail(dot)com ).

Happy Frog and I said...

Hmmm, I'd recycle the luncheon vouchers, glue the centimes to various pavements and take pictures of people trying to pick them up which you can post to your blog, make beautiful artwork of weepette using the rotting vegetables and definitely neck the gin.

Kilburn eh? Sounds like a laugh. Couldn't agree with you more though in terms of the videos they want to take of you in presentation classes. Noooooo!

Em said...

Theatre! I knew it. Now I think about it, even the biscuits. Yes! Gwyneth! The fact the biscuits are arse biscuits is all part of the mystery. *rubbing hands together* Yes, it all makes perfect sense (sort of) now.

Next you'll be putting together a summer wardrobe for us plebs. Or casually mentioning your private chef. Or marrying a musician.

I'm saddened by how much you've changed...

frau antje said...

Gin and crying are both good for you, you'll need water though. Was your head already on the list of things that hurt?

Have Lashes paint the rotting vegetables, this could lead to having more money on hand.

Challenge: Try not to think of it as Ukkel.

That's Not My Age said...

For your performance with Mr Hudson I think you should wear 'photoshoot' make-up - with a different outfit though, maybe something with sequins?