So. In the interests of continued regular posting, here I am, in abashed silence, trying to think what I can say. Hmm. Well, my house is very clean. You're glad you dropped by now, right? I have realised that in weeks without the children it's actually worth tidying because - watch out for the revelation here - the house. Stays. Tidy. Astonishing stuff. I come home in the evenings and there it all is, vast swathes of uncluttered floor (unless weepette has been having a particularly trying day). I'm oddly enthused by it, and have been renewing my fraught relationship with satan's pet. And the Swiffer. The Swiffer has taken on near mythical status for me since its appearance in Kiss and Ride. It's like a single person's talisman. Admittedly, I only found out yesterday how to make it longer, after my adoptive son shamed me into it. But I leave it draped around in the hope it will somehow make my how magically more Belgian and inspired.
Also, er, we went to the zoo yesterday. It was raining, and the spawn had to be cattle prodded to look up from Mario Carnage 8 for long enough to look at the animals, but it was An Outing. I felt more like a fit parent, having required them to leave the house. Lashes, within ten minutes of arrival, was done.
"Can we go now?"
"We've seen the reptiles. Can we go?"
"NO. Do you know how much it costs to go to the zoo? FIFTY euros"
He was momentarily impressed by this.
"So we're not leaving until cost per animal viewed is below 5 euros"
There was momentary silence as he calculated, reflected, something. Fingers and I strode ahead, intent on seeing how mossy Kai Mook has become after exposure to a Belgian winter. (answer: actually not very. They probably scrub him with Ajax and wire wool before the zoo opens every day). Eventually he scuttled up behind me.
"I have an idea. Let's go to the aquarium".
His logic was irresistible. We went to the aquarium. Twenty minutes later we were heading out of the zoo.
Yeah, that's all I've got for you. Sorry. I will try better, longer, harder tomorrow. In the meantime, have a red arsed monkey, the only thing to raise much enthusiasm yesterday.
Oh! And a bonus shot of the WAFFLE VAN parked right outside the gulag.
Welcome to Belgium!