Friday, 22 January 2010

Manifesto

So, I got nominated for the Bloggies by some freakish accident (thank you so much whoever nominated me), and now I am looking around here with a fresh eye in case of new visitors, lost and bewildered on their way to other, better blogs.

(New people, here is a nano blog synopsis: I am an English, female, 35 and living in Brussels, for reasons lost in the mists of antiquity, with my two children and idiotic dog. The cast of characters is here. I am recently separated from the CFO, who is a very nice man who likes tortoises. I have unhealthy relationships with the internet, money, Bonne Maman crème caramels and a craven need to please everyone. Very little of note ever happens, but sadly that does not stop me from blogging. I like shoes and whining and words. There are many many things I do not like , but if pressed, I would particularly single out the hoover for opproprium) .

God, so dusty! I had already taken off some of the more ancient photos that were going yellow down the bottom of the page after someone told me there were too many plastic toys on here. I note, for instance, that the Belgian pic of the week has not changed since November and that Prog Rock's reading list is even older than that. Given that the man averages 12 books a week, this is so out of date it's positively antediluvian. I will work on that. And let me have any ideas you have for making things prettier. Just, not today. (I am very lazy, new readers, promising much and delivering virtually nothing).

No. Today I will make outlandish promises for what I will do if you vote for me.

If I win, I hereby promise to make the weepette a Mexican Wrestling outfit.

You know I can do it:







Red children's tights come to mind as a good starting point. See? I have thought about this. I am going Mexican Wrestling next month. This is why the idea is once more foremost in my mind. There is Mexican Wrestling! In Brussels! I am making Monk come with me. She knows about Mexico. She got sent there after the Mexican ambassador took a shine to her, or something.

Other manifesto promises:

I promise to feature a regular post from the Brussels Metro 'Kiss and Ride' column of Belgian tragi-comic hilarity.

I promise to have a more balls in selecting what I write about (except things that might lose me my job).

I promise to become Prime Minister of Belgium.

Free speculoos for all.

And I will call my next pet Witloof. (FYI if I ever show signs of wishing to get another pet you may kill me, kill me stone dead).

And my next children will be called Jacques Brel and Johnny Halliday. Even if they are girls. (FYI if I ever show signs of wishing to have another child you must kill me even deader. I do not imagine this will be necessary. I have been disturbed 80000000 times at a conservative estimate since I started trying to write this, among other things, to provide Hula Hoops for a killer whale)

Noone has to eat their brussels sprouts and you can all stay up past your bedtimes.


Ok, I'm exhausted and slightly nauseated with all this self-promotion. Go and vote for me, please? Or not. That's fine too. Right, time for gin.

40 comments:

Mrs Meyer said...

GLADLY!

the polish chick said...

done. now what if i like brussel sprouts?

Zed said...

Voted early this morning, along with many other bloggers. But you are special, being in Belgium and all that.

GhtoPrincess said...

This post comes at a perfect time, as I just discovered you yesterday! It's been a life saver really - as not only has it helped me get through a dreadfully boring project at work (I read this while I'm working on the other), I've been able to brush up on my horribly rusty French. I haven't found a blog I enjoyed this much in a long time.

katyboo1 said...

Your wish is my command. I hope you win. You deserve to win. Plus, I want to see the Weepette in tights.

katyboo1 said...

p.s. have been channelling you again. grey, Gharani Strok blouse with slightly Grayson Perry neckline.

Jaywalker said...

Oooh, nice Katyboo. Where did you unearth this treasure?

springonmars said...

It's the speculoos that won me. I can have it in paste form, right?

Jaywalker said...

Springonmars - You can have it in either smooth OR crunchy paste form. I have both. I am totally bountiful. Would you like me to make you a nice tartine?

frau antje said...

Hmm, no speculoos, thanks--but a girl named Jacques Brel? Well, okay. Gin and not having to actually vote are good too.

Bryony said...

done. Will change my name to Jacquie Brel too.

workingberlinmum said...

New to the blog and gladly done.

Well Seasoned said...

I'm new, unconfused, and I like you. Or your blog anyway. Voted for!

Completely Alienne said...

I too have done as I am told - like Katy I want to see the weepette in tights!

Sabine said...

Well spoken. Cheers! And now I will never ever have to eat brussel sprouts again (not even at christmas)? Oh, Thank You!

Mary said...

Voted -- now, will you pay my dentist bills I am likely to encounter due to having to eat fleur de sel caramels ?

emily said...

i went and voted for you, for cake wrecks and for Zoey whereever i could....and then picked random ones which sounded cool for the rest - methinks i shall have a massive new blogroll to keep up with now!

frogpondsrock said...

Hi I came over from the bloggies. Congratulations and all the best.

Kimberly said...

Done! Love your blog. Reading it makes me smile everyday.

Veronica Wald said...

You're gonna *love* Austin :-) Or maybe you won't love it, but you won't know unless you go :-)
(you got my vote!)

Top Bird @ Wee Birdy said...

Oh I'm so bloody voting for you lady. Congratulations. xx

Em (middle name) said...

Done! Best of luck.

And don't forget to use your prime ministral powers for good.

NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

Listen to me. I voted for you. I also bought an apron that says "Fuck" on it for my best friend for Christmas. Apart from that, I love you. Well done. May you win, and also may your dog wear the suit of a wrestler.

Anonymous said...

Of course I've voted for you! You're the only blog I follow with any sort of regularity. By the way, how is the knee going? I'm a fellow knee sufferer, and I bit the bullet at the beginning of this week and had a partial joint replacement. It's stiff and sore (what's new....) but improving each day (that's new!) and while there a lot of physio work to do first, I'm starting to look forward to the bushwalking possibilities (not your thing, I know, but no doubt there are lots of things for which you'd like a new knee).

Cheers,

Jenny

bevchen said...

Done. You better win, I'm looking forward to seeing the weepette in tights (wow, how wrong does that sound?!)

Maryam in Marrakesh said...

Hi! India Knight tweeted about you and me and said she was voting for us. (My blog, My Marrakesh, is in the Best African Blog category). So I came by to see what your blog is about. Hillarious!

katyboo1 said...

My only shop of choice of course T.K. Maxx. Am having my ashes scattered there.x

dragondays said...

Voting done - if you win I hope you are going to take us out for lavish cocktails - mind you, what could we have for $20? A glass of Cava and lots of straws ...

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

I didn't find you though the Bloggies, but congrats on your nomination! That's pretty awesome.

I'm just on bedrest today and visiting a bunch of European blogs. Who knew there were so many awesome Europe-based bloggers?

Miss Whistle said...

Congratulations. Very cool. I've voted for you and for LLG. Fingers crossed.

Love,

Bumble

Fat Controller said...

Don't think much of your promise to become Belgian Prime Minister: It must be your turn soon anyway.

Indie said...

I like your blog BW.

It is simple and clean and easy on the eye. Too many blogs look so cluttered to me that I simply scan and leave and move on to the next one.

You write well enough that you dont need all that "busy" to look impressive.

I will vote for you but if/when you win I hope you stay so lovely and fresh as you are now!

Indie

Nicola said...

Well Done Waffle. You have my vote. Roll on the Weepette in his Mexican finery.

Anonymous said...

Ah mais non madame, Johnny Halliday, il est Francais (son pere etait Belge). He's kinda of a in betweener, I guess. Great blog. I'm always being asked "what's a typical Belgian meal?" And I want to say "witloof in de oven , met hesperolletjes". How the heck can I translate that?

Jaywalker said...

En effet, anon. However he's called De Smet and almost counts. And thank you! Perhaps you can explain the following Belgian culinary, erm, traditions:

-oiseaux sans tête

- vol-au-vent

- apple compôte with your roast chicken.

Anonymous said...

i actually love your new place. take more pictures of it and have someone take one of you sometimes. the ones from the cookie venture were great!

Jane said...

Well...would love to vote for you....but can't actually work out how to.

Fat Controller said...

I wonder if 'oiseaux sans tête' is comparable to the Danish atrocity/delicacy 'benløse fugl' (birds without legs) which are like strips of nondescript meat rolled up, skewered on cocktail sticks and braised. Yummy!

Jessica said...

Congratulations! I have recently devoured your blog whole and will be voting for you tomorrow after my brain has recovered from last night's horrible vodka and redbull accident otherwise known as the Transardentes.

BTW - that stain the drycleaners missed in the following post - coffee?

truestarr said...

Did it! You deserve a reward (do they give the winner money? cream pies? or just fame...)

Fingers, toes and eyes crossed!