Thursday, 7 January 2010

The Belgian Waffle Secular Confessional - Christmas Edition

The post Christmas confessional is opening today. Have you been bad? Even a little bit? Egregious regifting, mistletoe incidents, festive faux pas? Surely you must have. I will be taking full advantage of the anonymity of the confessional later, but here's a few to get you going.

1. I threw away Lashes's triops. He thought they hadn't hatched, but when I came back home on Sunday, there they were, hatched, unfed, wriggling around in half a centimetre of fetid water feasting on their dead comrades. I just couldn't be arsed with them, so I threw them down the sink. Adieu, Triops, you creepy little bastards. I'm not even very sorry.

2. I used my iphone to excess whilst abroad over Christmas, particularly when drunk. The thought of the bill is keeping me awake at night. Because, obviously, it was totally essential that I communicate the minutiae of my frankly predictable evenings drinking to the world. Every night. Fuckwit.

3. I bought two dresses at the Maje outlet store in Paris and only confessed one to brain twin when quizzed. Like she's my bank manager or something. They are both black and broadly similar to many other dresses in my wardrobe. I bought the secret one for very specific nefarious reasons all my own. I bought loads of underwear and make up too, in a pre New Years Eve panic. Metallic violet eyeliner will doubtless stand me in good stead at the next State Aid study day I have to go to. Those events are HAWT. Please recall that I still have no furniture. Or an iron. Or anything remotely useful.

4. The Sadaharu Aoki salted caramel chocolate was ten euros a bar. I didn't care.

5. I bought thoughtless, anonymous, crappy, Christmas presents for nearly everyone, mostly on Christmas Eve. Some people just didn't even get presents. They will eventually but that doesn't make it right.

6. I let my children play far too much Nintendo DS. I make them turn the sound down, because the inane beeping of Super Mario Bros makes my parental guilt sensors vibrate.

7. I am doing really really badly at speaking English to the boys. They can't be arsed with English and I try to speak it, but when they act deaf or pretend not to understand, or make village idiot faces, I get irritable and switch to French. I have to do something about this. What if I end up with entirely French children? They will find Benny Hill amusing and have shit taste in music and wear their v neck navy cashmere jumpers over their shoulders. They will have big, well groomed hair and dance le rock n roll. I cannot let this happen.

8. My poorly knee is making me SO FUCKING ANGRY. I am shouty. I properly shouted at the dog today as he pulled me down the hill, wrenching my leg and making me slither on the ice. If we had been in England, someone would have called the RSPCA. Thank god we are in Belgium. Also, I cried walking to school this morning with the boys because it hurt so much and I hate crying in front of them. They have a hard enough time as it is at the moment without me going to pieces like a big baby about a sore knee. I remember finding it completely terrifying when my mum cried. Your parents are supposed to be superhuman, so you can settle back and concentrate on being a child. I don't think I am providing this service at the moment. Fucking knees. Stupid asshole design. Stupid Emma for not having the Kevorkian injections last January that were supposed to stop this happening.

9. I drove way too fast on Christmas morning to try and get back to Brussels. The road conditions were a bit shit, but the enormous, black, Teutonic hire car gave me vastly inflated delusions of my own roadworthiness.

10. I tried to turn the heating off while I was away, but given how warm it was when I got back, I don't think I managed. I can't work my own heating. Great.

11. Fingers has had a mullet for about a month now because I can't get my shit together to take him to the hairdressers. Thankfully that ends today.

12. I have the cultural awareness of a slug at the moment. I know nothing about film, tv, music. I have barely read for weeks.

Wow, that was easy. I obviously had a lot on my chest. Your turn, confess all. I'm not absolutely guaranteeing penance this month, because I might take too many Nurofen Plus and lose the will to type.


carolinesweetie said...

Okay here goes, Bless me BW for I have sinned:
Got very drunk on birthday and sent the most cringeworthy and agressive tweets to someone who was flirting with me. Worse than drunken texts cos he tweeted back. Oh I was very brusque and direct.
Bought a little six pack of butter caramels from Hotel chocolat but decided I only wanted the caramel. So I ate/sucked out the caramel out of the middle of them and then threw the choc in the bin. Also ate a 6 pack of coco loco from same place ( taste like pina colada) in one sitting of about 10 mins.
Bought 3 purses from Jaeger in the sale in Oct and passed them off as non-sale christmas pressies.

Anonymous said...

The wiring in my flat is really dodgy and I haven't had any main ceiling lights in the hall, kitchen or sitting room for eighteen months. My parents, in despair, gave me the money for an electrician to get things fixed. I am 36, I have a job (albeit not a very well paid one) but I still took the cash with no shame. And spent it on a kick-ass Vivienne Westwood dress I had been coveting for months. I still have to do my washing up by the light of the cooker hood, and will have to a) hide the dress and b) invent further electrical problems when my parents come to visit next month.

Lewis William said...

Sadly, I can think of nothing to confess. Certainly no secular sins, because white lies - to my mind - keep society functioning. Yes, my life is that dull.

BUT I wouldn't worry so much about the crying. It makes boys feel very protective and responsible... At least I did. Wasn't at all scared, however I hope there was at least a hug forthcoming?

Mirare said...

let's see... where to begin? Just started mailing out Christmas presents to friends yesterday (Jan. 5!!) -- spent much of holidays keeping up with BW via her tweets and wishing I was at glam parties in Paris (or at least eating salted caramel) -- resent fact that husband's sabbatical ends in a week and I may have to interrupt my etsying-around to attend to child -- keep picking up our cats for a moment of warmth when it is clear they would rather be left alone -- all but paid creditcard bills are following me with their address slot eyes --
bless me....

NicolaRidings said...

Jesus where do I start!

Last month I got a right shitty on (in my head) with one of my bridesmaids (I'm getting married in 30 days) and I worked myself into such a frenzy in my head that I figured she didn’t want to do it. I phoned her and she made me feel like a right dick and told me to stop being ridiculous! On Boxing Day she found out that her relatively young mum has days/weeks to live with end stage cancer and when she called me I sobbed like a baby– some support I am!

I cannot stand my father in law and do everything I can to wind him up. He is a right old woman and panics about driving conditions when the first flake of snow falls, and I find myself making comments that I know will send him orbital. He unplugs every appliance before he goes to bed and last week I told him I leave our sitting room fire on even when we are out of the house (just to watch his reaction), he was mortified but not brave enough to confront me! He is horrid to my lovely Mother in law and he is very domineering. It’s blatantly obvious that he thinks I am a gob shite and clearly dislikes me too, however, I don't give a rat's ass! Last year I invited all my OH’s family for Christmas dinner and he refused to come! They all came (including my mother in law) and left him sat in an empty house alone with a pork pie for company - this gave me great pleasure and I was disappointed when this year they declined my invite and spent it with him out of pity.

I put my 2 ½ year old into nursery between Christmas and New Year because I’d had a gutful after spending a week at home with her, I work full time and always bitch about the fact I only get to spend weekends with her. For our honeymoon we are going away for a week without her and I’m starting to feel really upset at the thought of leaving her, do I know my own mind, clearly not!

I still haven’t lost any weight and get married in 30 days, I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and have realized that if the thought of 8 chins on my photographs doesn’t motivate me nothing will. For years I’ve told myself I won’t be a fat bride – 100% FAIL!

I don’t have enough money to last till pay day and can only freezer fish for food for another 5 days or so, this is despite the fact I am wearing a brand new goose down parka as recommended by @indiaknight on twitter and today have ordered some snuggly snow boots for my walk between the train station/office. We don’t have enough food till pay day but I’m stylish and warm so what the heck!

There is a lot more but the above is depressing enough for now……..!

Anonymous said...

I am even in this very minute ignoring overdue work for a client, despite the facts that 1)we are in a recession, 2)my business is so embryonic it can hardly be called that and needs careful attention and fertilizing if its going to grow into anything at all, 3) the client is very nice and patient and I do actually want to do a good job for him.

Also I seem to be mixing plant and animal metaphors in frightening ways (see #2). Or can plants be embryos? I had biology twice in high school and this is still what we get. So I am also a crap student, stupid and very whingey.

And speaking of, I have 2 overdue essays for class, which I have no intention of doing since they don't count for anything beyond my own enlightenment.

I have been exploiting family members' very serious illnesses as my own excuse for laziness (see above), even though they live far enough away that my time is not remotely impacted.

I resent my mother's long rambling phone calls despite the fact that she is very much impacted by above.

I have been wasting all kinds of time mooning about over a dishy man who doesn't even live within 500 miles of me, so totally pointless, but I continue wondering who to choose as my maid of honor. I am totally delusional.

I am hiding in an anonymous post even though you don't know me. Shame.

Sarah L. said...

I wrote my own. Thanks for the inspiration. I feel much better now.

Provincial Lady said...

I am supposed to be studying for a really hard exam, which incidentally cost me far too much money to enter. I complain that my boyfriend being (really quite seriously) ill in hospital has meant I haven't had enough time to study, but still in the 2 weeks I have left to cram I am spending hours on a silly online game called Howrse, where you have to breed and look after horses, because I never had a horse when I was little. They aren't even real horses! Aaaaah. I am going to FAIL.

Anonymous said...

I was incapacitated with a wretched stomach bug over Christmas and all I really REALLY wanted to do was just be left alone at home, whining quietly to myself but, no, the husband insisted on dragging me to his sister's house to spend the day with her (she's single) and their extremely aged parents. I barely ate anything and just sat slumped in the corner. Worst of all was I couldn't drink any alcohol thereby deadening the pain for having to watch them all reading newspapers in the afternoon or repeating stories that I've heard a hundred times over the years about people I don't know. And it's all so fucking formal it's like having to dine with royalty. I just wanted to stab them by the end. I'd better go anonymous on this as I'm not sure if any of them might read it...

Z said...

I'm so stupid good that the only real confession I have to make is that I bought myself an iPhone, just because I wanted to. I don't do that sort of thing normally.

Oh, and I'm forking out thousands for a private operation when I could perfectly well wait for the NHS and get the same surgeon. I don't care, I'm putting me first on a selfish whim and I'll let my husband pay the bill.

The Christmas confession - ah, that's another matter. I was puzzled to open a box and find several things I didn't remember ordering - I looked up my account and I hadn't ordered them. However, a book was perfect for my son, so I gave it to him. Eventually, I discovered that it was all ordered by my daughter-in-law, so I had to unwrap a DVD that I'd been going to give my sister (luckily, she hadn't come for Christmas but arrived a week later). I pretended that I'd had a senior moment and thought I'd ordered all the things when drunk.

As to your own confessions, pah and pooey. You're doing all the right things. Who cares about irons and shit like triops? And the boys will learn English the moment they want to. I'm so sorry about your knee. Please get it fixed.

Crap Human said...

I confess:

I want to throw all the Christmas toys in the bin already. I hate them. My daughters wouldn't even notice. I think I might actually do it, starting with all that stocking crap I painstakingly assembled over Oct-Dec that's already lying broken on the bedroom floor.

My job is arse, and I can't be bothered to do it even halfway properly.

I had sex with my ex again. He's pretty good at it, I don't need to dress up and it had been ages. But it's such a bad idea.

I nourish horrible thoughts about almost everyone I know.

I think I'm beyond help, BW.

Jane said...

Undercooked the turkey as an act of rebellion. Didn't actually mean to under cook it, but didn't listen to my mum, who has at least 40 years experience cooking turkey. She said it needed another 40 minutes, I said it didn't as the meat thermometer said it was done. When I took it out it was hideously pale and looked very undercooked, but I was adamant. I cooked everything else and as we were ready to serve, Husband said, ' is it supposed to be pink?' Cue silent hysterics as 12 people were sitting at the table in the same room waiting for lunch.
I lowered the lights and husband served up least pink bits.
Luckily no-one died and I will be eating humble pie every Christmas for the rest of my life!

Z said...

I pretended that I'd had a senior moment and thought I'd ordered all the things when drunk. Ha! - that was the excuse, not the confession. You know, there's hope for me yet.

Bless you, Jaywalker. You give an old dear hope of being a complete arse yet.

Anonymous said...

I got crap presents this year. CRAP. And yes, I do mind even though I am thirty seven.

Also, I hate my pet. I'm not saying what it is in case, well. Just because I'm paranoid.

Anonymous said...

After an epic 14 hour journey owing to two poxy inches of snow...I spent much of my week at home with my family drunk, asleep, watching films on my own, nibbling at crisps rather than eating anything nutritious, avoiding conversation with family immediate and extended, battling insomnia and trying to avoid weeping about my ex who ended our relationship three months ago and who I am still hopelessly in love with. I had a huge argument with my mother on the last day of my trip. Then I went away for New Year as couldn't stand being in London, and needed to forget about the previously booked trip to Asia with said ex. I saw in 2010 with people I didn't know, one that I did (who was a complete pain in the arse), cold, drunk (running theme) and smoked too many cigarettes. Returned to London last weekend and since then have subsisted on wine, bad takeaway. Instead of writing 5000 words for my degree I have frittered away my time on the internets and reading trashy fiction. In a pique of insomnia and upset I bought myself a Nikon SlR, a new dress, tights and earrings. The camera is for educational purposes, the rest not so much. Sadly the only thing I am looking forward to is cocktails at the beginning of the week, to celebrate submitting work that I haven't even started yet. There is more but is much too depressing.

Lisa-Marie said...

Two nights before the one day I had to work in the Christmas period, I threw up violently, so phoned my(lovely, understanding) bosses, who said I should stay off and get better(and not infect their children), I woke up about 7 and felt ok(though I hand't eaten, so couldn't be sure) but rather than phoning them and going in late, I went for a drive with my husband, we went out for tea, and then we went to visit friends and got drunk on alot of wine.

I may have purchased 4 separate things to add to other people's presents, and then kept them for myself.

Don't worry about crying in front of your kids, they aren't stupid and they know you are injured. Also, I paid 15 euros for a choc0late bar once. I still think it was worth it.

Anonymous said...

I work for an exclusive fashion brand - a household name much beloved of celebrities and, um, other rich people. I had a bit of an itchy head when I went to work on Monday but thought it might be that I hadn't rinsed my new shampoo properly and thought nothing more of it. I've spent the week seeing important clients and top media types, and you know the drill - it's all air kissing when you say hello *and* when you say good-bye and today I realise that our whole family has RAGING NITS and so I've been going MWAH [nit hops from one shiny head to another] MWAH and 'Oh, Darling, Happy New Year, Kiss [nit migration] kiss' and yet more 'mwah, [shall I DHL my nits to you, or do you want to take them now] mwhah'

I think I've probably given nits to half the magazine editors in town and to a few other people, you know the types, famous for their fantastic long blond hair and stuff. God, I hope they have kids and blame it on little Pomegranate or Tarquins horrid new friends.Thank God the kids are back at school. Anyway, how do you get rid of NITS??? [scratch, scratch itch itch]

Diana (Diane) Maria said...

Happy New Year!

My confession:
I blog about my neighbor even though his son asked me not to. I know! I know! I'll ask forgiveness on judgment day.

I just found your blog and I love it, love it, love it!

the polish chick said...

confession - i hate getting gifts, and in the last while i have been given stuff by several sweet dear friends who know damn well i hate getting presents. i have had to smile, act impressed, make happy noises when all along all i wanted to do was to smash the presents over their stupid heads and yell "don't you know, you fuckwits, that i have been working my goddamn arse off the last few years getting rid of STUFF and here you go and give me more stuff. and it's shitty stuff! stuff i wouldn't buy myself in a blind drunk! what part of BUY ME WINE did you not understand?!?!?!?"

the worst thing is i can't even blog about it because they read my blog. i suspect i might have to start an anonymous uber-bitchy blog but without my friends i would have only 1.47 readers. on a good day. and my poor broken ego couldn't stand that.

anyone want some stuff? it's free!

Vic said...

I bought my husband a new cell phone for Christmas only because they were offering a two-for-one deal and I wanted a new one.

He bought me a clothes steamer. We are desperately in love, as you can tell.

Also, I am a chronic lurker here because I very much like you, but I'm too intimidated by your other commenters. I'm sure to say something stupid.

Waffle said...

Polish Chick - but that's what Secret Spineless Whine is for! Send your complaints to Marinka. That's what I do. Oh, not so secret now. Never mind.

Vic - Tsk. Come out into the light. The comments box does not judge. Nice presents. I know a girl whose boyfriend got her an extractor fan for Christmas.

Anonymous said...

De-lurking to confess to spending entirely too much time to blog reading and to sneaking dozens of pages of a great novel when I should be working.

I have also taken to referring to toothpicks as Boss's Last Name, and when I see anyone using a toothpick, I say they are "pulling a Boss's Last Name" because my boss has the unfortunate habit of digging away at her teeth in public and at parties. Yes, I said HER teeth, it is awful. I don't like my boss, I suppose I should confess that, too. Duh.

I don't walk the dog because it is too cold, but I drive to the gym to log 5 miles on the treadmill.

Lastly, I've eaten far too much of one of those GIGANTIC bags of M&Ms all by myself in one day.

Did I mention that I don't like my boss? I don't know why that makes me feel vaguely guilty, but there you go.

jen hit the roof said...

I pretended my back ache (horrible hereditary nonsense with a stupid name that sounds like a german tank) was worse than it is to leave work early. I got very drunk, very quickly at a party and smoked something I shouldn't have and had to lie down for an hour. I also pretended no.2 son was ill to get out of work because of the worst hangover in the world after said party.

Anonymous said...

I think mine are quite serious actually... the big one:

I am planning to leave my husband (for sad reasons that are neither of our faults but we cannot seem to resolve) and although we have talked about it in the past, I think he thinks things are back to normal... but I am job seeking in Scotland without him knowing.

Met an old friend while home at Christmas in Scotland san hubbie and thought he was cute and have thought about him quite a lot since.

Shopped too much in the sales and now cannot afford to go skiing with aforementioned husband, so trying to persude him to take the cost of the trip out of our kitchen extension fund (as this will probably never happen as I am probably leaving him)

All very difficult and woven together!

Plus I ate too much chocolate and have the will power of a gnat when it comes to trying to cut down on the booze (probably for all the reasons above!)


Anonymous said...

I think I have Blue Waffle infection.

Anonymous said...

I bought an iPod nano on my credit card last month although I don't have the cash to pay it off yet and it's bad form to buy presents for yourself at Christmas time.

I should send money to my sister for a bridesmaid's dress and she's younger than me and only just graduated and has health problems and is about to get married but I'm still waiting til my next invoice comes through.

I haven't yet opened letters from a) 'my' mutualite (which I'm not entitled to after all because I don't really live here, what a mess), b) cable tv company, c) mobile phone operator.

And I still haven't told the concierge about the return of the cafards.

Margaret said...

The nit confession is the most heartwarming story so far of 2010. (I've been freelancing in a building that also houses a fancy fashion mag and, God, but those girls are fucking horrible to share an elevator with. The Devil Wears Prada doesn't begin to scratch the surface of that world.)

Anyway, forgive me, Waffle, for I have sinned. I did not spend the holidays with my family because I was annoyed that they never want to get together ON Christmas, but always after to accommodate the Holy Only Grandchild's schedule. (I have a thing about celebrating Christmas on Christmas Day.) Hello! Other family members exist! So the husband and I went away for the weekend, and I made sure we had a mostly terrible time because I felt guilty about not spending Christmas with my family because my father is very old and I love him and I know he misses me. I never visit my parents even though they live 30 miles away and I have nothing but time on my hands.

I did not buy a single gift for anyone but my husband (but he got 8 Channukah gifts and 3 Christmas presents) and over a grand in tips to the building staff.

I sent out no Christmas cards, except (again) to the building staff. (And when my bitch sister comes right over to fix the leak under my bathroom sink on a Sunday morning, she'll get a card, too.)

On New Year's Eve, on my way to lunch with some friends, I was in the subway and bellowed, "For fuck's sake, let's GO!" at a group of dimwitted yet harmless tourists who could not figure out how to use the turnstile. In my defense, my train was pulling in.

I've got to go, because all hell seems to be breaking loose on the street--I hear yelling and honking and, inexplicably, a marching band playing the theme to Rocky.

Anonymous said...

I confess that in response to your last post (The question: What keeps you going this month?), I was going to say: putting on my plate at lunch and sometimes dinner, something hot, something cold, something colourful and something crunchy!!! However, I was too lazy at the time to bother. Also, sometimes I swig my mother's sherry...suprisingly it gets me off my head faster than anything I've ever known...weird, but true.

Waffle said...

I confess I don't feel very badass and empowered and Beyoncé-esque at all tonight. And I would like a hug and a hot water bottle. And that sometimes das shit ist sehr sterk. (I revert to pig German in times of distress).

I also confess that I think my blog is rubbish since I can no longer say 80% of the stuff I would like to.

I confess that I am confessing again because it seems to be a very quiet confessional and that disappoints me, because my self-esteem is excessively tied up in the success of these posts.

I confess I am, indeed, very pathetic.

Betty M said...

Mine are weak . I bunked off work this week as the childcare was on hold and I couldn't be arsed to pay for cover. Thankfully the schools remained open despite the smattering of snow in n. London so I could do a passable impression of working from home.
I have failed again to do my tax return, pay the nanny's tax., pay nursery fees, credit card bills etc.
I bought husband lousy present as agreed but failed to buy secret decent top up present so feel guilty when wear gorgeous necklace he bought me alongside my requested whisk.
I fail to stop chilfdren wasting hours watching shit like Tracy beaker on iplayer and the wonder why they are monsters.

pinolona said...

Your blog is awesome :) *internets-hug* (I don't have a hot water bottle)
It's only quiet at the moment cos everyone is still hungover after the hols, nothing personal :)

the polish chick said...

waffle, are you nuts? comments in the double digits i would kill for!
and you are totally bad-ass and beyonce-esque (which sure is fun to say out loud!).
i am sending you several big e-hugs, since you have given me a helping psychological hand, for which i am eternally and deeply grateful.
as for the 80%, think up a code and whisper it quietly into our ears. the bastards won't have a clue!

Anonymous said...

I just want to say that not only is your blog simply wonderful, you are a very special and unique person, it shines through your writing.
I'm sending you an anonymous hug, but one that is heartfelt all the same. From the heart, I really hope you feel better soon.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't going to leave a comment, but since you asked......

I had a terrible time with my family at christmas due to bad behaviour and underhanded arrival of junkie cousin and ruining my trip with his junkie ways, so I have selfishly informed my mother that I will no longer be participating in family activities until he dissapears, which is rather unfair to her as she has no control over the situation.

I broke up with my boyfriend and bailed out on our new years plans to go to San Franciso because I hadn't actually booked a ticket back to Vancouver and I couldn't be bothered to.

I declared my undying love and affection to a wonderful man but am wondering if that may have been premature. Can't take that nugget back, can I?

I have stayed home from work today, because everyone is still travelling except for the only colleague that I despise and I couldn't face another day with him. Also, I am sick, but I probably should have gone in just the same.

I've eaten far too much chocolate and am using my illness as an excuse to eat more bad things.

And finally, I'm going anon due to fantastic laziness about logging it.

I wholeheartedly loved the nit comment. And your blog Mme Jaywalker. I look forward to it everyday.

Julie said...

Dear Ms Jaywalker
I confess to having lurked here so much that even I feel like a creepy stalker. I am even miffed that by de-lurking I might have to attempt to behave like a normal human being.

I do love your blog very much. The comments, your devotion to updating every day. The brutal honesty of so much that you've posted. Seriously, I am Welsh and if I could gush I would and that is huge.

westendmum said...

I secretly sing The Sound of Music songs to Erbie.
I secretly quite like The Sound of Music.
I don't care if we never talk to the mother-in-law again, even though the Grandad is trying to broker a truce.
I haven’t had a shower for 3 days.
I think the Grandad may be a snob, which means I'm probably a snob.
Our bedroom is so damp, I found green mould growing all over the bedside stool and didn't tell until after new years eve.
I'm not supposed to eat yeast but keep having double whammy marmite on toast.
I'm living off my credit card.

Anonymous said...

I'm not going to confess to anything - I've probably done everything that has been written so far, so it would be rather boring to repeat it all.
See on Twitter you are having problems with the Weeing Weepette ... you can probably google and find answers - but why not take away his water bowl at 5pm or something until following morning? Might help.
Suggest you take boy and dog round the lake and then a ferry ride to Robinson for hot chocolate - although I don't like their hot chocolate as the pepites de chocolat just form thick sludge in glass. Their Pils is good though!
WV trugi - this is what you do in the snow

Bryony said...

I am supposed to be walking slowly and carefully (especially in the snow)as have had months in plaster but have the patience and deidication of a gnat. Tried running on ice today because I was bored of moving so slowly. Your blog is the best and so are you xx

Anonymous said...

I have sinned in many terrible ways but I'm too paranoid about privacy to say them here, even anonymously. Feel free to imagine.
Love you Waffle xoxo

Wife in Hong Kong said...

I walked out on my husband and four children 4 days before Christmas. Went to live in a warm hotel room and cried a lot at the thought of a first Yuletide without my Mum.

Margaret said...

Hong Kong Wife, instead of giving you penance can we all just hug you?

jen hit the roof said...

For the love of Nathan don't google Blue Waffle!! I did after anonymous left a comment on 8th Jan. The sight is burned onto my retinas. Disgusting!

Anonymous said...

Big hugs all round I think, Christmas and bleak old January can be such a grissly month.

Chin up everyone lets keep warm with the thought of all the nit infested fashionistas!

Katy Newton said...

Bit late, and nothing to confess, just a spot of advice (perhaps unnecessary). I don't know if this helps but I would think that if the weepette hasn't had this wee problem before you moved he is probably doing it because he feels a bit unsettled. You have to tell him off or he won't learn not to do it, but when he's not weeing a lot of cuddling might help.

auntiegwen said...

Late as always (but with hugs for you and HKW, and hot water bottles and nice stuff)

In my attempt to get over the man I want but don't have I agreed to have lunch with another man, I got my ex husband to drive me there and fetch me because he offered as he knew me in my previous incantation of wussy wife who wouldn't drive in bad snow. He thought I was meeting work colleagues, I didn't enlighten him, strike 1

I should not use my ex husband to do useful stuff for me

At this lunch I had 2 large glasses of wine and made no attempt to be charming, when I went to the loo, he paid the bill and I was glad I didn't have to stump up for fairly mediocre food and wine, I have not replied to his texts afterwards, strike 2

I should not date people just because I am at a loose end on a Saturday

My friend discovered her partner had been doing flirty things over the internets and texts with someone else and she got very indignant about how could someone spoil their life that way when they knew that she and their son existed and I reminded her that that was the position she was in when she started shagging him behind his first partners back, and that Karma is a bitch, strike 3

I should not hate hypocrisy and I should be less judgemental

Anonymous said...

All of this brouhaha about snow in the UK is making me crazy, especially since I live (almost) in central London and therefore have no excuse for a 'snow day' (the euphemistic term for 'skiving' these days).

I am twisted inside with annoyance that one of my colleagues hasn't made it into the office since last Tuesday, just by dint of living a little bit outside London, and has done a very poor job of 'working from home'. As a result, whilst being at my desk for the requisite hours all of last week, I did almost no work and instead read blogs and shopped online and sneakily watched shows on BBC iPlayer. Now I have a tonne of work to do and it's making me crazy.

Sorry, not really a Christmas confessional, but I needed a rant. You are great, Ms Waffle, I love your blog and regularly lurk around the comments . . .

Jessica said...

Died laughing at the 'french children" fears. Me and my francophone don't have children (yet) but the way you described the Benny Hill loving, coiffed dancers of 'le rock & roll'... a deep fear in me woke up and said 'That's exactly it! They must NOT end up that way!'

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