Thankfully for you, however, I am not just leaving you to your fate, oh no. I am selflessly reopening the Belgian Waffle Christmas Present Clinic. For those of you not present last year, the idea is this.
You submit - via the comments box or email - details of your tricky friends or relatives and whether you wish to delight or appall them. I suggest gifts, usually in a thoroughly unhelpful way, and then everyone else can weigh in as they wish with suggestions. Maybe I can prevail on Dr Capybara to host part of the present clinic in his inimitable style. Who could forget the joyous search for the perfect present for the Ironed Curtain's harridan mother in law?
I give you fair warning, I am jaundiced and hunchbacked from biscuit preparation, and I have spent all my money on Ikea furniture and tupperware boxes, so, I will probably be full of bitter and bilious suggestions. But that's why you come anyway, isn't it?
The five most entertaining victims will get the full scintillating sparkle of Waffle present ideas. Sort of. Quick!